Untitled - August 7, 2025
00:00:00 Speaker: Hi, I'm Denise. Host of the Working Moms Redefined podcast. Let's join together as we lessen the hold of mom guilt in our lives, thrive in our careers, and raise great kids. You are doing enough. Let us boost your confidence today on this episode of Working Moms Redefined podcast. The word authenticity. What does that mean to you? As you can tell by the pauses that ultimately make me think of my husband, Jeremy, if you're wondering what I'm talking about, go back to the episode where where I call him out for taking intentional time to answer my questions. How very dare him. But authenticity to me has not always been present for me. Authenticity for me lately. is if you're watching our YouTube channel and you see my fun red glasses, that makes me feel really good. I love the color red. It's fun. It exudes confidence. That's authentic. I was recently a guest on a podcast called Don't Waste the Chaos. Very enjoyable. We will link that in the show notes as well. And ironically, this podcast host. Her name is Carrie. She just like myself, likes to prep the questions that she is going to ask her guest and she said, go ahead and send me a bio or her assistant did. However you want to look at it because these people are fancy, send me a one sheet or a bio about who you are, why you started the Working Moms Redefined podcast, how much you love public speaking, etcetera, cetera, et cetera. So sending all of that type of thing. And she created questions around that. I expected, based on what I had sent her to be talking about, you know, nine minutes a day for a lifetime of connection and how that has power with our children. Our masterclass mentions that I also expected to talk about how leading ourselves when no one else is looking is so very important, or even talking about how you can do hard things. Because you and I both know we've hung out long enough together. Those are staples around here, as they should be for each and every one of us. And yet, the questions that she sent me prior to our podcast interview had absolutely nothing to do with those things. Now, again, if you hang out with us on Instagram Stories, if shameless plug right now. If you do not, be sure to go follow us on Instagram. Authenticity to me is real life. Real life. And that's what she sent questions all around for me to talk about was authenticity. And not only was I completely flattered that she sees so much authenticity in me, I think I was most flattered because of the fact that I haven't always been authentic, and I know I'm not the only one when I say that. Mid thirties. Now, obviously wisdom has come about as well. And I'll never forget the fifteen, sixteen, seventeen year old that was walking through the high school hallways, being so very aware of how I was being perceived by others and adapting to fit what I thought everybody else needed and wanted people pleasing. That's why you'll often hear at the end, I'm a recovering people pleaser, and I'm authentic in that because it makes me better. Now realizing that authenticity has not always been a part of my life, helps me be able to walk that line a little bit better. So many of us, from time to time, think or notice about, oh, I don't like how I showed up in that scenario. And if you don't, that's okay. You have room to grow. And I love to pose the question to myself, is the reason I didn't show up in a certain scenario because of the people around me? Or was it because of the choice that I made in how I thought I should show up in front of those people? Think about some of the people that you admire. For me, I really admire the people who seem to give two craps about what other people think of them. Now, granted, running three businesses is not ideal to not care what people think about you. And yet, if we do align our actions with our values and our words and our thoughts with our values. That's living authentically. I used to say whatever I thought would make the situation go away. Make people like me. I used to say that all the way up until mid-twenties. I don't do that anymore, because I realized the hard way that people are not going to like you and people will like you, and it is not your responsibility to sway their decisions. Remember, we let go of control, and when you do that, you let go of the control that you put on yourself to please others. Man, life's so much more fun. And that's what we talked about on this Don't Waste the Chaos podcast is when we show up and her perspective of me is only that online. She doesn't know me quite as well as you do. When we show up authentically and true to who we are, it's vulnerable. How do you continue to do that? My first thought on this is because I know what it feels like when you don't. I remember the feelings of what it felt like when I didn't live authentically. It honestly probably started way back when I was twenty two, twenty three. And for those who might not know, I had a radio morning show. And when I first started though, we were the afternoon slot. So we were on, I don't know, two to six or, yeah, two to six in the afternoon. And there was a morning show. Well, in the November of that year we, we flip flopped not by their choice, let me put it that way. So it was a promotion for me. But if you think about it and so many people used to live their mornings like this, who you listen to on the radio was part of your morning routine. And if you're under the age of twenty five right now you're like, wait, what's radio? I'm joking, but kind of not. You kind of lived by the oh my goodness. If I hear Denise give the weather and I'm not in my car by then, I'm running late. Or if I hear the birthdays and anniversaries and I'm not in my desk seat, I'm gonna be late. We kind of do these mile markers. So when people's mornings shifted because of truly, simply something as small as a different voice or a different energy, because I know myself well enough, because of my authenticity, now that I can be a lot and I'm okay with that. I can be a lot and I can be quiet. Both are okay. As Julie mentioned in last week's episode, two competing things can live at the same time. I can be grateful and sad at the very same time. Death is a perfect example of that, but I digress nonetheless. That morning show when we flip flopped and people's routines changed because people just love change, not. They bucked vocally, and social media was really gearing up at this time. And there was an I hate Bone Denise Facebook club started. Now, of course, I was twenty two and I absolutely checked every comment and every message and every word that was said about me because that fueled my people pleasing. It fueled my I'm not good enough thought in my mind. I wasn't where I am today in the sense of, okay, if somebody says something that's a reflection of their own insecurity or that's a reflection of how they really view themselves, or they just wish that they could be doing what I was doing, and it was because of those really hard times. There were so many tears. You had to do it in between commercial breaks and songs because you had to when those mics popped on. Done. You were the energy for some people's days. And yet I was hurting for a long time. It's not easy to say out loud. I was. I. Those words hurt. That's why, partly I believe in the phrase. So much of words have power. Because I've had words cut me down from people who didn't even know me. And I gave them that power. And yet, that is partially why I know it. That's partially why I choose my words so carefully and so strategically, because I care so much about the other person. Because I don't want you to feel the way that I felt twelve, fifteen years ago. Gosh, man. But it sticks with me. It sticks with me. And that, in my mind, was the start of living in an authentic style and leaning into who I truly am because I was people pleasing still. Then I was poking at bow to make it look as if he was the one that was not as smart as me when we did Trivia Tuesday. I was finding the little things in which he said to pull out and be funny, but that's not really who I am. I don't like to nitpick. I don't like to find the little small things. And to be honest, I found myself doing that in the episode with Jeremy and I because that's comfortable. I'm used to having a male co-host and I went right back into routine as to, oh, what does it look like to honestly live inauthentic? It's like it's an interesting dynamic. And so for me, authenticity, the ability to live in that more so now is because I remember what it felt like when I did it. When I said that I liked something as simple as mint chocolate chip ice cream, when really, that's not my favorite. I really actually, I like coffee ice cream with some caramel, but because I wanted to feel cool and make the other person think that their idea was better. I chose to change mine. I don't do that anymore. Do I say it kindly if I don't agree with something, especially when it comes to gossip? If somebody was wanting to gossip. But I'm like, that's not my story to tell. That was hard for me in the beginning to not give in to the conversations because it's easy. It's easy to dog on others and deflect from maybe the unhappiness that's going on in your life or mind. It's not my story to tell. There is some conflict, if you will, going around our school district. And just last night people said, Denise, I'm surprised you're not at the school board meeting. And instead of viewing it as Denise has opinions and she's going to share them, because I really don't think that's why they were saying that. Even though I do have opinions, I'm just not sharing them quite yet because I'm not educated enough in the data. I digress. It was because I like to be educated, to know what is going on, to be able to make a thought and an opinion. And I know that they see that. But then they wanted to know what the issues were going on. And I said, you guys, I don't, I don't know, I've only heard one side of the story and that's not fair when I haven't heard the others, because I want you to be able to make your own judgment call on what to do, because I don't even have one yet. For me, that is living in authenticity. Twenty year ago, Denise would have fueled that fire. Well, I heard this and I heard that. So when asked about authenticity one, it hasn't always been in my life. And. It's giving yourself permission to be truthful for who you are, which ultimately comes from accepting yourself first and foremost. Do you accept who's looking at you in the mirror? Do you love him or her? Of course, we all have areas of opportunity. Mine is my reaction to when Hudson comes in with blood dripping off of him, but nonetheless, it's a good growth factor for us to consider. Are you showing up more often than not as to what your true self thinks, feels, and loves? I think that you have the power to consider all of those thoughts. You have a choice to set some time aside now to consider what does it look like for you to be authentic in today's world, especially in a world where it's hard to decipher between I. Let me rephrase that. Sometimes it's hard to decipher between what is AI and what is not. It's going to get harder down the road. We start to distrust. We start to question, what does it look like for you to stop questioning yourself because you live in such an authentic style. Beautiful, right? As we wrap up our time together, I again ask you the question. What does it look like for you to authentically live a life that you are proud of living? It's hard, but you can do hard things. Thank you for listening to the Working Moms Redefined podcast. It is not lost on me that you chose to spend time together. Thank you. Let's connect outside of this space on socials. We'd love for you to follow us on Instagram Facebook LinkedIn, Pinterest. We've got it all to connect with you. If you feel as if someone in your life could be impacted by this message, feel free to share it. That is the biggest compliment as we part ways together. Remember, you can do hard things.
