Untitled - October 29, 2026
00:00:00 Speaker: It's our favorite doctor. Back with us on the Working Moms Redefined podcast. Hi, it's Denise and we are so glad that you have chosen to tune in and learn about your health with the best doctor, Kim. Doctor Kim, we have gotten to talk a lot. A lot of things over the years and today we are excited to touch on MCAs. We are going to talk about when maybe the body feels like the enemy. We'll get into discussions about intimacy versus lovemaking, and how happy wife might not always mean a happy life, but the alternative is absolutely true. What a day to start with. Doctor Kim, welcome and thank you for making time. It's always a pleasure and honor. Um, I just have to share with everyone that, uh, Denise really has helped me to stay in contact with my Quincy and tri state community. And I'm very, very grateful. And, um, my practice is doing really so well, after working with Denise that now I don't have any room to accept people right away. There's about one to two months of waitlist, and I give Denise a lot of credit. So a lot of women out there working moms means not just a job or business. If you are caring for a child, that's the highest level of working. If you're running a household, that is the highest level of working. One of my mentors wife used to say that behind every successful man, there's a very fatigued wife. Mhm. So true. And that's where you come in, is that you help those of us who are feeling that way. And you have done a multitude of things with not only myself, but others around you. And at the end of this episode with Doctor Kim, we will give you ways to connect with him, get on his waiting list, learn more. But please know if you are feeling overly tired, overwhelmed, unhappy, all of those things. It is worth a conversation with Doctor Kim and direct Integrative Care. So we will give you all of that information towards the end. And of course, it's in the show notes as well. But before we started today, Doctor Kim was talking about MCAs is the new hot topic, and I'm going to need you to tell all of us who might not know what that is, what it is. What does it look like? Do I have it? Don't convince me. If I don't, where do I go from here? So MCAs is called mast cell Activation syndrome. All God has blessed me that he let me marry a woman with it and. And nobody, including me, knew anything about it forty years ago. And what happened is that, uh, because of the love and devotion, at first I'm like, oh, go to the specialist, go and tell them what they say. And then MCAs means the mast cells, which mediate histamine response is out of control. It gets triggered for no good reason. And so it looks like bad allergy, except it's not. It's worse than allergy, and it doesn't respond to just allergy medications. And what has changed is that it took me about twenty years to understand and figure that out, how to treat that. And, and that has been one of the greatest clinical blessings that I've received from God. Because now after Covid nineteen, a lot of people's immune system appears to be have been deranged, meaning that it reacts to anything, it shouldn't react. And you can arrive to mast cell activation from, um, from multiple entities. So one could be even chronic fatigue, which itself is a multiple entity and from Covid nineteen, long Covid or Covid exposure, um, or Lyme disease or a mold. So multiple pathways can arrive. You think of it as like an airline hub. So when we fly, um, we would go to, uh, Saint Louis and that's one of the hubs, but not main hubs. So from there we fly to one of the hubs and MCAs is like that. It's a disease hub on multiple diseases, all feed into MCAs and it presents differently. But you know, you have it when it looks like allergy, but it's much worse than allergy. And it doesn't it doesn't really respond to allergy medications. That's one way to say what it is. The diagnosis criteria exists, but they're very difficult because you have to catch it in the act. It's like diplomat committing a crime. You have to catch them in the act because the histamine disappears really quickly in the in the blood. So if you go after the fact, then it's like catching the diplomat later. It's like, oh, I have diplomatic immunity. You have a problem in the Act. And that's what MCAs says. And that gets mistranslated into physicians who don't understand that aspect. So your test is negative. Oh, maybe you need some SSRIs. Maybe you're anxious, maybe. And that's a medical gaslighting, which is really annoying for from my perspective, because patients have better things to do than to go to doctors for. Wait almost half a day in different parts of waiting. You register. Wait. You go inside the room, you wait. You see the doctor for five minutes, and then you wait another like fifteen to thirty minutes finishing up. And so people are not really excited about that, you know, and, and there's no transparency about billing really what happens there. So people are not going to doctors because they, they love pretending to be sick. They're there to get help. And if they don't understand it and they don't have the time to pay attention, are the commonalities of people who end up in my practice are purposely kept my practice to ninety nine active members. And, um, and the billing is fair. It's not cheap though. Um, because I have to, once they sign up, most likely weekly, I'm having sessions with them. So some of the patients, almost every two or three days I hear from them and then I respond to them. So but it's it, it works because of that aspect that I'm there for my patients. I have wonderments as to, okay, if someone is questioning whether or not they might have this. Now, you said you have to catch it in the act. What does that look like? Um, it looks like some for some people they're having hives. Some people they get, um, itching or they like in the middle of the night. All of a sudden they can't sleep. Their wake, the mind is active, they're buzzed. But the thing is that how can you have access to the lab at that moment so it doesn't work well. So what they do is twenty four hour urine collection. But that's very expensive, rarely covered by insurance. So the other way I think is the old way we used to do medicine, which is you talk to the patients, you listen to them, you empathize. And, and really by careful questioning, you can estimate that they probably have it. And then, you know, they have it. If you treat them for MCAs and they get better, then Then you know what the answer is. Deranged immune system and some of the tools which I'm an expert on, like low dose naltrexone or LDN, can make a huge, huge difference. That's amazing. Oh, and it works because as I'm thinking of some of the things that you and I have worked on, Doctor Kim like, I do feel as if that low dose naltrexone. Now, how do you say it? Low dose LDN, LDN, LDN. There we go. That is what has been helpful for me as well. And you, you are the one that listens best to what is going on. And you are not afraid to try things, but you're very strategic in how you try to help women and men get better, and especially in busy seasons, right? There are so many times where we are to do list is so very long and we prioritize, and then we put ourselves last or put ourselves on the back burner and our body ends up feeling like the enemy. Mhm. And I think that's what we were talking about before the show, that your body is a partner. It's not a project. And so I think that for those of you who hopefully nobody has this experience, but for us men, we are mostly clueless about ten to twenty years behind women in terms of emotional growth. So there are times we will say, I want physical intimacy now without, um, having cultivated the intimacy. And, and I think most women don't find that very attractive. So imagine that you're, you're telling your, um, a body that you are a thing and I'm telling you what to do. I want the physical intimacy right now. And then your reaction to that would be your body's reaction is that, hey, you didn't caught me. You're not taking good care of me. You're not intimate with me, and then you're just demanding what you want. So then I think that's a framework. I think most women would say, if my husband did that to me, I think he would be in the doghouse for a little bit. You're so right. How do we go about that? How do we teach our partners that? So I think you do that, um, and different tactics. I think my spouse has spent the last forty years educating me. And I thank God for her because she's a Proverbs thirty one wife. I think you do that by becoming a Proverbs thirty one wife, and you assert your value through your actions, deeds, and then words last. Uh, and then, uh, you cannot, but the man will feel like they are fish out of water. Mhm. So then the devotion is not a a thing. It's just natural because fishes need water. So if you make your spouse a fish in your, uh, water of cultivation, then the person has to worship you has to do everything. So, um, and unless that person is a sociopath or a psychopath or personal this or has personal disorders, then personality disorders that that that's a different issue. Then you have to make it difficult, difficult decision. I've never met in my thirty years of practice, a patient, a patient come to me. It's like, oh, um, I love the experience of divorce. I recommend it to my children, my grandchildren. I've never, ever seen that. So but there are good divorces and I don't know the circumstances. I would say get counsel, talk to your best friend, talk to your mother, talk to people who don't have an interest, just you. And then if there's a commonality, then bring that to the professional and say, hey, uh, I need your help to tease this out. And then what I tell my patients is plan, plan everything. You will have fears, write it down, address those each and one each, every one of those. Now, my mom just said, uh, because my mom is one of those, uh, men not to be a good example. And he, she, she just smiled and said, my tactic is to outlive that son of a bitch, and I will get all his money and spend it the way I want to. That's my ultimate revenge. So that happened. He did die earlier than him, and she is enjoying her life. That doctor Tim. That honesty helps us be able to better understand why you're like, no, write down the fears and talk about them. I love it when I think about your suggestion of talking things through and going to outside counsel. It is so, so important experience for us says that to be true. And as women being okay to share your thoughts and feelings, knowing that it's okay that the other person is mad at you. The other night, Jeremy got a little animated, more so with Hudson than I would have preferred I don't you know, I do realize that he is the head of our household and that boys do need to be parented differently than girls and all of this dynamic, but I just didn't like the way that it went. And before bed that night, I was like, I know we were planning on a little something, something, but my head space is not in the right right now. And if I did this, it would be checking a box. So I'm just not going to feel up to it tonight. And he understood, which was so nice. And connection happened despite the frustration. So connection can happen without intimacy and it's still honestly super, super vulnerable. One of my mentors taught me in with cancer patients is that cure is not always possible. Healing always possible. Oh, so and I think basis of any successful long term sustainable relationship has to be friendship. And so obviously you and Jeremy have strong friendship. So when things are. Because we we didn't go to class. How to be a good husband, how to be a good wife, how to resolve conflict. But I live in multiple countries, multiple cultures, multiple languages all the same. You. You treat the best friend the same way. You don't. You listen to them, you respect them. You don't hurt them. And you don't, um, you know, stab them behind the back. That's all the same. Now, wife. Each culture is very different. Some cultures say you can have for some culture, cultures say that you can. It's okay for you to have a mistress very, very different. But I've never seen a culture that best friends they'd like to their best friend, or they stab them in the back or not be loyal to them. I think that's a universal value. So if you and your spouse are best friends, if you're you and your body are best friends, then you're going to have a great relationship or you can't. Because sometimes I think people feel like my body feels like my enemy. Well, your body is accurately reporting to you how it feels. It's not a betrayal. The betrayal is the relationship that you have had, the intimacy between you and the body. So for me, I get up, um. I will do chores for my wife. I will pack her ice vest because Texas is still very, very hot. I bought her ice vest, so I packed it for her because she loves it, but she's not going to pack it because it takes about ten minutes to set everything up. And I pack her lunch and then I go to the gym. Uh, and then, uh, during lunch time, if I have time, I go to the gym that as soon as, uh, while we had dinner, I go to the gym. Um, and only I'm there for only thirty minutes, maybe twenty minutes. But I think that, um, it's, I'm treating my body differently and my body is treating me differently. My sleep has gotten deeper. Uh, I'm not getting up in the middle of the night because I'm just too tired. And, and so I think that's an example is that you, you have to earn The respect of of the body. You have to build intimacy with your body the way it wants. And for me, when I meditated, prayed, I got the answer that I have to exercise. I used to exercise like a fiend and you stop doing it. So guess what? I don't like it very much. Good for you. That's awesome. Oh, I love it. Let's transition a little bit to something that so many women are talking about. Perimenopause. When should we start learning about it? Probably yesterday, honestly. So perimenopause I think is a good topic because there's not like a age. I know, I know there is an average age women stop menstruating, but perimenopause starts before that. And I think it's a good thing to think about when you had a kid, maybe, and then you are not going to have any more kid. You're still having period. And period may have not changed. What changes is in your head? There is, um, a sense of volcano ready to erupt. And and that that sense is stronger and it's not rational. And I think and then the sleep gets disturbed. Those are soft signs. Hot flashes is that's like hard signs that you're into it. So I think that listening to that is a good thing. And what I do integrative medicine, functional medicine, we can test for all some of that. And some of that may be adrenal. Adrenal fatigue can cause that. Um, another, another thing could be that you're just entering into it. And there are a lot of tools in integrative medicine that we can use herbs to quiet that down. Uh, Chinese medicine has been doing, um, doing just that for a long time before we, they had any science. And today, of course, with functional medicine is very heavy into testing science, which is very helpful to get an insight. Not always. And sometimes that comes from missing missing nutrients. Sometimes that comes from hidden infections, sometimes that comes from just out of balance or rhythm. And that that all of that I think is, is helpful. And then women usually have their cravings changed, their body metabolism changes, and then their body shape changes. And understanding that, again, not a betrayal, but messages are coming and responding to that rather than reacting to that, I think is really, really, really, um, key for perimenopausal success. And a lot of women, um, and react differently. I've had beautiful, beautiful women who are always worshipped by men. Not she's cheating, but she loves the attention she's getting from men. And when she turned on the perimenopausal, her husband called me in panic. Oh my God, my wife is just breathing fire all the time. Like, what do I do? It's like there's nothing you can do. Your wife has been always a beautiful woman and she's gotten old. There are two ways women are invisible in our society. One is get incredibly fat and second is get old. And she's now getting older and men are not paying attention to her as as much or just. And she she found it flattering and and reinforced her value as a beautiful woman. And, and she doesn't have that. She's not getting the same. And and this is in southern Florida and she's Latina. And their their cultural values of beauty is, I think, a bit different. Their sensuality is different. It the attention doesn't translate into, um, like a fair. It just reaffirming that she's a beautiful woman and, and, and she's not getting that. So I had to cancel the husband that you need, she needs to go to a counseling, but she's not going to. So you need to go to counseling for her to develop greater compassion for her, for her angst, her loss, her fear that because ultimate fear for her is that you're going to find her unattractive. Therefore, and I said, it's your culture to in Latino, Latino, your culture. There are men your age dating younger women, and there's no judgment. And then he goes, yeah, that's true because you will never do it. But your wife is a woman. She's a Latina woman. And she's seeing those things in her culture or she's seeing her in her friends. So I said, you need to go to she's not going to go. You, you go and then you become a, a more compassionate and more, uh, reassuring, uh, partner, letting her know that she, she is sun and the moon to you and that she aging is natural and that she will wear the crown of grandchildren. Um, and that is just how God has it for us. And I know that they've done better since that good. I know you were giving credit to the fact that it was a lot to do with their culture, but I think a lot of us women in general can relate to that fact in the sense of of course, of course, yes. We it's not that we want to necessarily be desired by other men, but there is a confidence booster. Doctor Kim, when somebody turns your head, their head, you know. Yes. And to develop that internal. Knowing that you are enough is hard. So I appreciate the fact that you are often encouraging the partner to help build confidence in themselves to help their wife or partner in that sense too. So I think for a lot of women, we can say, thank you. That is great. What are there any misconceptions or something that you wish women would know before entering perimenopause? Or like for me, in this stage, I'm starting to wonder. I'm like, man, I'm probably right on the front end And can I use that as an excuse for sometimes my behavior? Or should I really look in the mirror and be like, no, Denise. Like get your shit together type of thing? I think that, um, you know, I, I like what Maya Angelou says, always do your best. And then when you know better, do better. So be kind to yourself. Understand that sometimes you're not in control because of the. It's a change in hormone. And I think that the, the true beauty really is not necessarily all physical. It's your actions, it's your grace. And, um, and I think in there is infinite amount of femininity and ways to exploit that femininity. And it starts with smile. It can start with eye contact. It can start with your, uh, dresses. And that's why men's dress is very boring. And for men to dress in ten minutes. No problem. For women, it's a bit more brain power goes in to, uh, what? What colour, what what's going to match? What's going to coordination. And that's a, there's a whole industry after that for men. Or what do we have? We, we, we have slacks, we have shirt, we have tie. The only thing I can do differently, maybe wear like more colorful tie. But, um, it's, it's more socially inhibited. And I love that because it makes it so simple. I get like all ten blue dresses and you're good. But woman. Um, can't do that. But but she doesn't have to. She has. Um, and that's why, uh, women's relationship with hairdresser is really a sacred relationship. And their hairstyle is really, really important. And our dressing is important. Um, accessories. Everything is important because it's connected to their feminine. um, energy and feminine persona. And I think that the, the, it's an opportunity to, um, make that go deeper. So you got the raw beauty and then you've got the grace beauty that you can cultivate. You have to cultivate. It's not going to come to you the manners, how you talk, how you relate. But I think that it's really true that the feminine, uh, powers and the way to exploit them are infinite. Um, and, and it only grows as your wisdom grows and you're more graceful. Um, and, and I have patients that are nine and they are dressed just really perfect for their personality. And I know they spend an hour before they come out, but it's worth it to them because of that. Um, in, I think in Spanish, I'll call the Hispanic or Latino culture. It's amor amor propio, meaning like one sense of self-esteem and self-love or combined into one. And I think those are really important. I'm learning a lot from my patients, um, the especially female patients. And I do have one male patient who was a model and he hated it, but he still dresses like a model. He, he, he dresses like GQ, um, model cover. Every time I see him, I'm so amazed with him. I mean, just really how he does it, it just but that's part of the IQ and that has nothing to do with your physical being. It's um, it's his choice to stay current with fashion. Mhm. And yeah, as we wrap things up today, something that you and I have talked about, which I think would be wonderful to go into, is exercise. And during your and I's my last appointment, we were talking about exercise and what's more important, diet or exercise and sleep. And then you talked about the hand grip hanging. Yeah. Walk me through that because just in the last week from our appointment, it has been given. It was a gift to me to not feel like I had to lift weights five days a week and that it was okay that I got extra sleep because that was what my body was telling me. How might you rank those for so sleep first. You have to sleep first. Uh, and then, uh, sleep and then, uh, food. And then physical activity. And physical activity is very simple. Everyone has a bed, presumably. So you sit on your bed. Stand up, sit down, stand up, sit down, stand up, sit down, stand up, sit down. Five times that it will get your heart going. That will get your leg muscles activated. And then when that gets too easy, you can do five times and rest or not rest and then another five if that's too easy to it, you know, fifteen times. And then, um, the other part is hanging. The reason is that our gripping strength determines is part of the determination of how long we live. So when you hang, the thing that hurts you the most is your hand in the beginning. So you train it. I mean, even you two, one, two, three. That's it. And you let go and then do it again. One two three. Let go. One two three. Let go. And then next day you tell yourself I'm going to go to ten. So you do that. So now like I'm up to twenty. And then after that you can do twenty, thirty a minute. Then you start saying, I wish what would feel like for me to do a micro pull up and then you do a micro pull up, micro pull up. What it's doing is it's activating your latissimus latissimus muscle. And then and then you, you're activating that a little bit, a little bit. And then as I've done that before, I know, so I'll do micro pull up for a while and then before you know it, you'll do a half pull up and then you do micro pull up, half pull up, pull up, half pull up. And one day you're consistent, you're going to be able to do one pull up. So and if you don't just stick with your micro pull up because you're still getting the grip strength for hand strength And most of all, the perimenopause is perfect time to get your shoulder to get stuck. And it will become impingement syndrome. Uh, so that's that, that will prevent that also because the micro pull up especially will, uh, work the, the basement muscles, that foundational muscles in the shoulder squats will do the same for the core muscles, except you get to do like one minute of it and five minutes of it. I'm not asking people to do, uh, what I'm doing, which is, uh, an hour to an hour, half a day. I do it because I, I like it and I think my stress is a lot lower, lower. And my wife really likes it when, when I, when my stress is much lower, she's like, oh, you're so easy to get along. I like that you take that upon yourself. Something that all of us can remember. Oh, I love it. What a good conversation today, doctor Kim, where can people go for more information to connect with you? So my website is the best way w w w dot direct integrative care dot com. It is a ninety nine, um, membership cap and currently I haven't met ninety nine, but my member, uh, I have to close to new patients and use a waitlist system so that I can continue to provide the best care I can do for them because I'm running out of time to take good care of them. So for me, the good care is the most important. The the numbers are will follow the good care, or we can do it backwards like a health care system. Follow the numbers and the care falls apart. Yes. And that's not you. Not you at all. Well, good. Okay. And, uh, personal recommendation. Absolutely. Enjoy. I think it has been a year that I have gotten to work with Doctor Kim, and I can genuinely tell you that my life is different in the best way because of him. Yeah. And I can share with all the business women that it's been a year. I work with, uh, with Denise for my business, and my business has grown five times. And Denise is just such rare gem because she's honest, she's capable, and she's just wonderful. And that combination is very rare to have. And I've introduced her to everyone I know that needs her help. It's been a pleasure and so fun. Okay. Doctor Kim, my favorite part. Lightning round style questions. What is your favorite healthy meal? So for me, it's protein first and then, uh, and then salad, uh, on the side or vegetable on the side. That would be the best meal. What's your favorite form of protein? So my favorite form of protein usually used to be a ribeye, but my wife hates it and she likes the, uh, the filet mignon. So now I eat filet mignon. That way I can cook for her and I can also feed myself. Just have one type of meat a lot simpler than having This is for her. This is for me. Yep. I love it. Okay. Early workout or evening workout? I do. I do three times a day. So. Yep. Yeah. All of them. And if I can't. I'll see. The morning workout is really important because if it gets too busy or I get tired, I. At least I got one in. And the lunch means that I get two in. And if I'm tired, uh, in the evening, I got at least two in, so I think I wait, uh, morning. First morning. Lunch and dinner. Cool. What is one health myth that you wish would go away? That that I think that, uh, right now, people just take supplements without just thinking. They just take, uh, with their intention or, uh, knowledge. I, I think it's best to be scientific about it because we're going to take it over the course of life. So why not invest in a functional medicine doctor to run a test that will tell you exactly what you're missing? Uh, we call that orthomolecular approach to supplementation. And I think it's the most logical way that I know. Rather than guessing you, guessing me, guessing are tested and then find out exactly what you need and supplement it and then really test it. And then you know what your body needs, then you're giving to them. Love it. Final one what is one word that you would use to describe good health? Grace. Oh, Grace. I needed to hear that. That's wonderful. Because it comes from God. Our life comes from God, our good health from God's God. So I think that when we have grateful heart and even with difficulties, we. We maintain the grateful heart. I see miracles. Um, my doctor who taught me everything about healing and cancer, used to say, the normal patients will pray to God. Why me? Um, and the exceptional cancer patients who are destined to survive will say, try me, Lord. MM. Let's do it together, I love it. Doctor Kim, I so appreciate our conversations. We always learn so much from you. We'll again have Doctor Kim on. Don't you worry. So if you ever have questions as to. Let's ask him this. Send them our way at Working Moms Redefined dot com. We understand that good health is hard. And yet, as Doctor Kim quoted Maya Angelou. Keep going. You've got this because you can do hard things. Thank you for listening to the Working Moms Redefined podcast. It is not lost on me that you chose to spend time together. Thank you. Let's connect outside of the space on socials. We'd love for you to follow us on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, Pinterest. We've got it all to connect with you. If you feel as if someone in your life could be impacted by this message, feel free to share it. That is the biggest compliment as we part ways together. Remember, you can do hard things.
