Untitled - October 27, 2026
00:00:00 Speaker: Raising an entrepreneur. It sounds fun, but gosh darn it, I bet that that is so hard. And so many of us own and operate our own businesses that listen to the Working Moms Redefined podcast. And I think that that is something much like parenting. It never turns off. And yet, what an honor it is for so many of us to get to work in that entrepreneurial field. And today's guest wrote a book called Just That. Margot wrote Raising an Entrepreneur, and she is with us to talk. Margot Bisnow. How are you? Here it is. There it is. If you're watching on YouTube, you can see the cover. I am great. I just want to say that it's not that you're supposed to sort of consciously say, I'm going to raise an entrepreneur because I don't think parents should try to raise their kids to be anything. I think, you know, you want to see what your kid wants to become, and then you want to support that. You can't raise your kid to be an entrepreneur anymore than you can raise them to be an orchestra conductor or a doctor, but you can raise them to be entrepreneurial, which means kids who who are courageous, kids who are willing to tackle difficult problems, kids who think outside the box things, who challenge authority. You know, kids who challenge authority, kids who follow their dreams. And you can be entrepreneurial no matter what you do. You can be a librarian and you can be entrepreneurial and start all these new programs for kids in the community. So I think it's, it's actually just a way to get parents to think about raising their kids as opposed to trying to raise an entrepreneur. I hope that's not a misleading title. I think it's an opportunity for us to see an idea that so many of us want all of those ways that you described that we want to raise kids as parents, I think, are ones that I want to make sure that we get to do. And so if that leads them down a pathway of choice, then that's a win. What inspired this idea for you, Margo? So my oldest son, and it's actually, as I just mentioned, Denise, it's his birthday today. Elliott um, eighteen years ago, it's hard to process. He was twenty two years old. Um, and he wanted to be an entrepreneur and he wanted to meet entrepreneurs. And he didn't think he was cool enough that they would meet him. Um, and so he looked in inked and wired and, um, uh, to sort of all the thirty Forbes and all the thirty under thirty. And he called, called eighteen and invited them to an all expense paid weekend in Utah. Um, and this, this was um twenty eighteen, Twenty, two thousand and eight, and none of them had ever met. They were all under thirty. They were all just starting out. People like Blake Mycoskie, who went on to start Toms. Um, and Sam Altman, who wasn't who wasn't famous back then. And, um, they'd never met anybody like themselves before. And they all said, um, gee, I want to, you have to do this again. I want to bring five friends. And that was the beginning of Summit or summit series. Um, which has just been this huge thing for young entrepreneurs. And I started going to their events and I'd never met anybody like these people. And I would ask all of them, um, how did you turn out the way you did, you know, so willing to take on so much risk and work so single mindedly to achieve a goal. And they all told me the same thing. They all said I had someone who believed in me, someone who told me I could do anything I put my mind to. Usually it was a family member and I don't like to say this everywhere, but I can say it here, Denise. Usually it was their mom and the kid said, you have to write a book. And I said, I can't write a book. And they said, you have to write a book. So anyhow, that's how I got into it. And so you wrote a book. You listened. That's so, so amazing to know that part of this podcast was formed on the idea of we're not doing enough as moms, right? That mom guilt, there's always more that can be done. But you put it very simply as to inspire and help them. And it's to show and tell them that they can do anything that they want to be. What a beautiful weight lifting statement that is. What would you say is one assumption that parents hold on to, maybe too tightly, that could prevent or could be preventing their children from thriving? Um oh, there's so many things I want to say, but first I want to say something. When you talked about guilt, I always say that moms have so many choices. Um, we can work full time and feel guilty. We can work part time and feel guilty, and we can not work and feel guilty. Um, true. So true. Um, I think that the problem is that parents think that what worked when they were growing up works today. And it's a different world and they have to let go of that. When we were growing up, you had to get good grades in all your classes. You had to get into the best college, you had to get good grades in all your classes, you had to graduate, you probably had to get an advanced degree. And, you know, then you could look for a job that you could keep for thirty years. And it's just a different world. And, and you have to pay attention to your child. And that may work for some kids. You may have a kid who just likes to do, you know, study science all the time and just wants to be a doctor. That's great. I'm not saying if you have that kind of kid, you should like, not allow that, but you may have a very different kind of kid and you have to watch, you have to pay attention. You have to look and see what gives your kid joy. What what turns him on, what what makes them happy. I talked to parents who are of high school kids. I'm like, what's your kid's passion? They're like, gee, I don't really know. And I'm just like, okay, either you're not paying attention or you've just got them so over programmed that they never have a chance to figure it out. Or every time they maybe started doing something that they kind of liked. You've said, stop spending so much time on, you know, drawing, painting, cooking flowers, growing flowers, building things, so whatever, and, and go back in and study and they're like, oh, yeah, okay. Instead of, wow, you're so good at that. And how about if we, you know, put you in a group that doing those things and see where it goes? Mhm. Talk about pouring into their cup, right? Raising fulfilled children more so than maybe raising successful children. Well, see it depends on what your definition of success is. And so I heard some sort of famous mom speaker. Um, and she said, like, I'm sure all of you think, you know, success is, is not just having a kid, you know, who's happy writing music, but a kid who's, you know, making money. And I wanted to stand up in the audience and scream, no, you got it wrong. Success is having a child who grows up doing something they love. Period. Done that. Success. Having a. Having a kid who. Who gets joy out of how they spend their day. Where do you think the disconnect comes from? Parents who might not think that because, as I said, when they were growing up, you know, they were told the most important thing was to be able to support yourself. Mhm. And so they still think that for their child to be happy, their child has to. You know, make enough money that they can live. Okay. And, and that that's going to be how much money they make is their definition of success. Ouch. Yeah. Whereas sometimes with that entrepreneurial mindset, more money comes even than you could even imagine because you find the joys in the day to day and that work doesn't really feel like work. So how how amazing. So if parents are like, okay, maybe I need to stop pushing my child down a certain path. What tips besides observing, might you give to help parents recognize the gifts and or interests that their child is having? You know, my my grandson, um, was in kindergarten and I, and I went to the class and the kids had all written, um, and, you know, the teacher said, what do you want to be when you grow up? And they'd all sort of drawn a picture and told the teacher. And the teacher said, you know, I want to be an astronaut. I want to be a ballet dancer. I want to be a farmer. I want to be a doctor. I want to be a teacher. These are fricking five year olds. They're giving off signals all the time. We just have to look. And, you know, we always had a thing with our kids. If we we tried to expose them to everything. And so we'd sign them up for stuff. And if they hated it, we said, you know, we paid for this session, you have to finish the session. And if you still hate it, you never have to do it again. Um, and um, and I thought that was really clever. And then it's just funny because my younger son, who's an incredibly talented musician, um, we'd signed him up for piano lessons when he was like in third grade and he hated it. So we said, okay, fine, you never have to do piano again. And long story. But he started writing music when he was about twelve. He wrote three hundred songs before he graduated from high school. I mean, the music was like pouring out of him. And in about tenth grade he found a piano because he'd been writing the music on the computer, and he found a piano teacher that he started working with who taught him, uh, to play by ear, by chords. And I realized it wasn't that he didn't like the piano, it's that he didn't like the piano teacher. One more thing for parents to look for. You know, it was a very rigid teacher who said, see this black note, play this, play this thing on the piano, as opposed to there's all this music in your head. This is how you can put it on the piano. So you just. It's not that easy. Like I didn't know anything. I know now when when my kids were growing up. Man, observation has such power and then not getting in the way of their choices because it could have very easily been, like you said. Well, you didn't like piano back then. You're not going to like it now, but instead you let him figure it out himself. And a lot of us as parents can be very well intentioned, are we're all well intentioned. And yet sometimes that can create anxiety for our kids, right? Right. Because, I mean, I just think it's hard. Like, like, you just don't know stuff. Like I always thought like everybody's brain worked like my brain. It didn't occur to me that seriously, brains were different. I thought if you didn't learn like I learned you weren't as smart as I was. And I really had this epiphany with my younger son. It was, I think it was eleventh grade and it was finals week. And he was playing the piano. And I said, Austin, stop playing the piano and go study. And he said, I have a new song in my head. I just have to play it so I can visualize it, so I can write it down when exams are over. And I suddenly had this epiphany like, oh my God, our brains are actually completely different because I have never had a new song in my head. Have you ever had a new songs in their head? So. Right. No. No. And if you did, would you be able to play it? No. And if you played something, could you visualize it? No. And so suddenly I thought, like, just because I can read a history chapter and go in and get an A doesn't, I can't do any of these other things. Like we just don't think alike. And that's okay. But you don't you don't know these things when you're starting out, and I don't want our children to have that tie of your worth is to that of achievement, because I am, I am that I'm working on not being that, but that is me. I was raised much like you had discussed, like you do and achieve, you do and achieve. And I got real satisfaction out of that. It's okay if Sydney and Hudson don't have A's in their class. It's okay if they're not good at everything, but how can I make sure or at least instill a value from your perspective of knowing that they do not have to achieve to have a high level of self-worth? So I there have been, I think, lots of studies done that. The important thing is not to praise kids for achievement, but to praise them for effort. And I'm sure you've heard this. And it's not to say I'm so proud of you for, you know, making the home run or getting an A, but I'm so proud of you for how hard you worked And you know, what did you have to do to what did you learn from your failure? And, you know, teaching them that failure is how they learn and grow. I mean, people say, what's the difference between kids who become entrepreneurs and kids who don't? And one of the big ones is their what their parents attitude was toward failure. If you're disappointed when they don't achieve, you give them all the wrong lessons because nobody's going to achieve all the time. And so it's just I'm really hard, you know, I. What did you learn from this? And what will you do differently next time? And do you think you could have worked harder? Do you think you could have worked smarter? Could. Do you think you should have changed this? Could you have changed that? Like what? What what would be what would you know, all these people that that have become very successful. They, they say that it's just because they just keep trying. I was told a long time ago that every no leads to a yes. I was in sales. Right. And at that time I'm like, that is so annoying. But I got really good at hearing the word no. And it was not rejection anymore because every no, by golly, did lead to a yes. But that was disappointing in the beginning. How when kids are struggling, how do we as parents support them through that disappointment without immediately fixing things? Right? You you, you. I mean, it's, it's hard because, I mean, I, when I look back, I, I was I fixed things too much. Um. Me too. But, um, I just think it's just important to say. What did you learn? What did you take from this? What will you do differently next time? Roger Federer gave this great commencement address at Dartmouth a year ago. It's on YouTube. I encourage everyone to watch it if you haven't seen it already. And he said, even though I want eighty percent of my matches, I lost fifty percent of the points I played. If you're always focused on what you've lost, you're never going to be successful. Mhm. So good, so good. Let's dive into your book. Now you tell me about it. You interviewed entrepreneurs from all different backgrounds, right? Right. And their moms and their moms. Oh. So cool. What were some common themes that you noticed? Yeah. So, um, in fact, it's so funny. I started out just interviewing the moms and then I thought, you know, I should also talk to the entrepreneurs and see if I'm getting the same stories. I realized I was getting the same stories, but it was actually kind of more interesting to talk to the entrepreneurs because the moms were sort of more careful, like they didn't want to say anything that might embarrass them. Um, so then I just started talking to the entrepreneurs about how they were raised. Um, so yes, half man, half women, every race, religion, socioeconomic background, you know, born overseas, born here. Small towns, big cities, small families. Big families. Divorced, married single moms, blended families, everything I could think of. And I was shocked that they were basically all raised the same. And, um, so my book has what I call ten rules, but the big one is that every one of these kids had a passion outside of school. And every, in every case, sometimes it took a big gulp. But in every case, their parents supported the passion. And it's only the artists that are still doing something with that passion today. But everybody else having that passion gave them the skills to succeed in life. So my older son, it was tennis. Um, he's not a professional tennis player, But I mean, he he was actually honored at the tennis center where he trained for what he's done off the court. And he said, everything I am today is because of tennis. I didn't really like school. I didn't work that hard. Tennis is where I learned grit and focus and determination and resilience and the trade off between hard work and results and, you know, how to how to pivot when things aren't going well. And all these things that I need to know to, to be successful. And I mean, I, I just think that these kids, if they're doing something they've picked, they've picked that they love that they want to work hard at. And, and because they're working hard, they're getting good and because they're getting good, they're getting confident and they're learning that they can be successful when they work hard. And a lot of these parents, I'll tell you, it was a big gulp. And then they saw a kid, you know, who was, you know, doing video games or, you know, making movies or, you know, doing things that hadn't been in their preconceived idea. And at some point when they realized how much their kids loved it, they were just like, we're so proud of you. Go for it. Mhm. Man, it I love how you specifically said something that the child chooses, not something that you choose for the child, but a passion that they choose. Yes, please. How do you start that conversation of letting a kid dream or find their passion? You don't you, you, you, you expose them to everything. And and it's like I said, with the five year olds, you know, I mean, this kid, it's going to be tennis and this kid, it's going to be soccer. And this kid, it's going to be painting. And this kid, it's going to be cooking. And this kid, it's going to be building Legos. And this kid, it's going to be doing math problems. I mean, I don't know what it is. I don't know your kid. But there there's there's something in everybody that, that that makes them like something. And if they like it, let them go for it. Say, you know, you seem to you seem to be really good at this. Let's put you in an art class. Let's put you in a cooking class. Let's, let's give you more tennis lessons. So how do you encourage these passions to find ambition but then not having to achieve it? Right. Like how do you separate the achievement from the passion? I mean, I think people want to be successful. They want to do well at something they love. I don't really know how to answer this. I mean, my son was a tennis player. He we don't play tennis. We don't know anything about tennis. Um, he was the one who, you know, after playing all these sports, fell in love with tennis and wanted more lessons. He's the one who wanted to win, you know. And he he he found tennis late. He was like twelve years old. And everyone else at that point who ends up being really good is already like doing regional tournaments and stuff. And he just kept playing tennis and he kept losing. And he kept saying, I know what I did wrong. I'll beat him next time. And he ended up thirty five in the country. I mean, it wasn't me. You know, I, I don't play tennis. Um, and in the beginning he said, can I go to a, an out of town tournament? And I'm like, no, like, I'm not taking you to a regional tournament if you haven't won a local tournament. How silly is that? I wasn't trying to inspire him. I just didn't see the point. So then he won some local tournaments and then we started traveling around the country. I love how transparent you are in that, right? Because a lot of us as parents are like, this all sounds so wonderful. But like, when, when do I set some boundaries? And so that was a good one. That was that was so great. And make it work with your family. Are there other times that you remember having to like, rep back consciously and trust the process? Well, my dad was a professor. Um, I grew up in university towns. Um, everyone I knew had graduated from college. I didn't know it was an option not to graduate from college. Most people I knew had advanced degrees. I just thought that's what you did. And my husband and I are both kind of, you know, went to good universities and have advanced degrees and are very kind of wonky. And, um, so then our older son, the tennis player who'd gone to Wisconsin to play tennis, um, and called, um, halfway through his junior year, uh, to say he was taking a semester off. So you can imagine how horrified I was. Um, and my husband had just had started his company, um, like a couple of years before and my son really wanted to work on that and work with him. And a year and a half later, a month before he would have graduated, um, is when he had that first summit event with the eighteen young entrepreneurs. And if I had forced him to stay, I mean, the reason it became a huge deal is it was the first time young entrepreneurs had gathered, if I'd forced him to stay in college another year and a half, not studying classes, that didn't interest him. And then he'd come back and worked for a year and a half. You know, the moment would have passed him by. Someone else would have done it. So it really taught me a big lesson. I mean, it was, it was it was like a big gulp for me to say. Yeah. Um, man, I don't know if I could do it. That's amazing. In fact, it was funny because I said to him, um, he was selling ads for my husband's company and I said, okay, well, you can stay out of college, you know, but as long as. But at some point, you know, if you don't sell a million dollars worth of ads, you have to go back to school thinking, okay, so he'll be back at school and pretty soon. And then he sold a million dollars worth of ads. Then I was screwed. What a kid. Okay, so is he still the summit entrepreneurial gathering? Is that still going on twenty years later? It is. And it's his he's he is now exited. But it is it is fabulous and still go to summit events. And it's wonderful people. And I feel so blessed to be a part of it. You should go sometime. It's super cool. And where is it hosted? It's all over summit. Oh, they're doing one in APA, I think this fall. I do they do Summit at Sea See almost every year. I mean, they've they they're all over. You have to be so proud, not only of the outcomes that both of your sons have done, but of their hard work and effort, and that they're nice people. Isn't that the cherry on top? You want them to be successful and to feel their success and pride within themselves, but to also be kind. Right. That's the most important thing. That is so cool. Margot, is there anything else you'd like to share about your book where people can purchase it, how they can have access to it? Where your desire and hope of dreams of what you want it to be. Yeah. Raising an entrepreneur. Um, here it is. How to help your children achieve their dreams. Ninety nine stories from Families Who did. It's on Amazon. I have also links to it on my website, which is raising an entrepreneur dot com. Um, I am on View Instagram at mark at Margot Robbie's now. And, um. I just think it's, it's, I mean, I'm happy to go through more of the rules if you want. I just think it's really important to say that you can't make your kid an entrepreneur. And in fact, of all the entrepreneurs that I talked to, only I think one of them had a sibling who was also an entrepreneur. And in those even in those cases, they also had a sibling who wasn't an entrepreneur. You can't make someone an entrepreneur, um, because they don't want to take on that kind of risk and work that hard, but you can make them more entrepreneurial. And if you'll indulge me, I have this like my favorite little section here. I say, yes, all children thrive if they learn to believe in themselves, to pursue their true passions, to find new ways to solve old problems, to see opportunity where others see the status quo. To be willing to take on a challenge without proper credentials to work with single minded determination to achieve a goal to take on risk if the project is worth trying. To learn that building something wonderful is its own reward, regardless of how much money you make. To view failure as feedback and setbacks, as learning experiences, and to dream big dreams. Mhm. Um, I also want to say one other thing, because I know this is for working moms, some of whom are going to feel guilty that they're not home. Um, truth. And there was absolutely no correlation between whether the moms worked or not and a, how successful their kids are and B, how close the kids are to their parents. Um, Margo, I say that again. That is so good. Um, there was no correlation between, I mean, I looked at it, some of them had moms who stayed home and they had wonderful kids who are really close to their moms. And others had moms who worked, and they have wonderful kids who are really close to their moms. And they all so many of them said to me, like, my parents were so busy, but I always knew they were there when I, you know, when it was important. Um, and, and so many of my favorite story was, um, Michael Skolnik who told me that, um, his mom worked full time and, and both his parents and, and they had like all these other activities that they were doing in the community. And, um, and they, they, but he's super close. He was super close to his parents growing up and he's remained super close to them today. But anyhow, he said his mom got a call in high school from one of the parents saying, um, we're having a potluck for the basketball team. And we wonder if you want to bring something. And she said, Michael plays basketball. That's my favorite story. I love it. But so many others, um, like Blake Mycoskie, who did Toms and his sister Paige Mycoskie, who did Aviator Nation. And I mean, they both say that seeing their mother struggle, you know, writing a book and, you know, working to get the book out and to get the book, you know, received and everything was so important for them. Watching her struggle and watching her succeed. And, you know, I mean, it's whatever you end up doing, it's, it's fine as long as you're, you know, there for your kids at the big moments. And you know that they know that they can count on you. I don't think there's like, if you're there X amount of hours, it's the important thing. I love that there is no better way to close. Today's episode of The Working Moms Redefined podcast. You said something so many of us didn't even know that we needed to hear. So we can't wait to, first of all, read your book. Holy cow. And, um, give you all the option to do so as well. We have links in the bio for you to connect with Margo, to purchase her book, to learn more about her, and to remind yourself each and every day that you can do hard things. Thank you for listening to the Working Moms Redefined podcast. It is not lost on me that you chose to spend time together. Thank you. Let's connect outside of the space on socials. 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