Untitled - October 6, 2026
00:00:00 Speaker: Another episode of the Working Moms Redefined podcast, and we're bringing a dad on the podcast, but not any dad, friend, doctor, political science guy got to be on a national news TV guide, like super cool guy named doctor AJ Simmons in technicality. If you were to be like, wait, tell me more about this guy. Political scientist, research director at the University of Illinois, Springfield Center for State Policy and Leadership. Talk about a long title. And it means something. It means he cares about politics. But like I said, right, we at the Working Moms Redefined podcast want to be able to bring perspectives to help us better parent our kids and make us feel less guilty about stuff that we don't know, which is why we bring experts in. And his work. AJ's has been covered by The Associated Press, Chicago Tribune, Fox News, The Guardian That's not a TV show, but it sounds like it could be NPR Illinois, The Washington Post, and of course, many other outlets. But what's really neat is that he was recently on Fox's battle ground. Now, as you're listening to him today, you're going to be like, oh my gosh, Denise, he sounds awesome. Well, yes, he hosts his own podcast called The Crashing the Political Party, where his conversations about kind of what we're going to talk about today, but maybe on a different level or scope. They discuss news and politics with voices that you might not otherwise hear, which is really cool when we're trying to teach our kids how to hear from different perspectives. So he and his wife, Val, are the parents of four very curious kids who are filled with questions around the world. And I don't know about you, but what great descriptors to have of children sometimes. I want our kids to be a little bit more curious. And that comes, of course, with questions. So today we're going to discuss all things politics and life and dad doctor AJ Simmons. Thanks for coming. Thanks for making me sound way cooler than I am. Yeah, well, you did all the work to get those titles, so it works. Okay, I am going to straight out the gate. Also, if you're watching on your YouTube channel, you might have just seen the really cool political mud that AJ is sipping his tea out of English breakfast tea? I bet. Yes. Very cool. Okay, I am going to straight up say I do not know enough about politics. Most of the politics that I have learned about in the first part of my life were totally ingrained, because that's what my parents told me to think or believe in a not in a way that's like, you are going to believe this, but in a way that's like, that's not even a discussion point and nothing against them, right? Like we've learned so much more about discussion, but I am coming from a place of not fear, but maybe ignorance and dare I say yes. Denise, you could absolutely do research. I'm scared. I'm scared I'm going to say the wrong thing. And this is where AJ is like, no, you're not. This is where election season especially can feel overwhelming for adults, let alone kids who are hearing bits and pieces, whether at school or for their friends or at sleepovers. And so as a parent, AJ, talk to me what or how do I approach this season at home? Um, well, you could be like me and approach it with like fear and trepidation. Um. I mean, a little bit of that. Uh, not, not that's not entirely a joke. Um, you know, because politics is anxiety inducing as is. Things are really complicated and things are perhaps a little bit more conflictual, um, than they used to be. Right. Um, but the thing we, we really need to keep in mind when we're trying to keep this, you know, politics in our home and talk about the stuff is that politics is happening around us and happening around our children, whether we are intentionally introducing them or not. Right. And kids, pay attention whether we think they are or not. Like they're little sponges that even if they're on their tablet or they're reading a book, they're playing with action figures, they're learning and they're listening, right? And so politics will reach them, whether it's in the home, right? At school, on TV, uh, adults talking, whether it's you, family and friends, strangers out and about, like eventually online when we're talking, you know, kind of older kids and stuff like that. Right? And the kids are gonna talk and learn about politics from each other, right? Especially in election years. Um, I don't know if you had a similar, you know, situation with Sydney, but like Brynn was talking politics two years ago in second grade. Um, and having classmates say directly political things to her, like quoting their parents or whatever they heard it. Um, and that seems kind of crazy early until it dawned on me this morning that, uh, we did mock elections in kindergarten in nineteen ninety two for the presidential election that year. So this isn't necessarily new. Maybe it's less structured. I don't know if they're still doing elections in schools. Um, but it's basically it's impossible to completely shield your kids and yourself from politics. And so we need to talk about politics, right? We need to talk about how to do them, how to engage in them, how, you know, we have to be thoughtful about what we're modeling and what we're teaching when it comes to it, because our kids are watching us like our kids, meaning villainize kids are watching how violent. I disagree about politics because we often do, whether we talk about people with dignity or contempt, especially when talking about people we disagree with, whether we're paying attention to our community and maybe not just the larger world, whether we're helping our neighbors, whether we're listening not only to each other, but to them and to other people in discussions. Because maybe fortunately or unfortunately for my kids and myself, quite frankly, people like talking politics with me. Um, And so they hear it a lot, right? And so something that I really try to keep in mind that I hope that other folks do too, is I don't want my kids growing up to think politics is primarily about picking a team and defeating the other team through conflict, right? Because politics isn't primarily about that. Politics is one of the ways a community makes decisions, argue about what matters, figure out how to distribute resources, and try to solve problems together, right? Like it's politics is people trying to figure out how to live together. So we really need to figure out the best way to model that behavior, given our own limits and flaws as human beings and parents. You answered so many questions that were coming up in my mind about like, okay, so you're right, politics are more than the person or the politicians themselves. And then you so eloquently went into like, politics includes all of this. And what's neat is it came to mind examples how you and I and other community members are involved in politics. And maybe we don't even give ourselves credit for that and instead are like, no, I don't have anything to do with politics. But as you were saying that, I was like, oh crap, I totally do. And yet I'm not giving myself credit, which then makes me not feel confident, which means I don't have questions. It's it's hilarious because AJ and our kids are in the exact same school in the same grades. And he just mentioned that his daughter, who is the same as Sydney, came home and talked about politics. I can absolutely one hundred percent guarantee you that we did not. She did not. And so that tells me if you have those conversations that they feel comfortable bringing that up. So if I am sitting at the dinner table, it's the four of us. I love to get curious. What type of questions can I ask to develop and generate good conversation around politics as a good starting place for us? Um, I would start with it's an election year, so it's like a low hanging fruit to ask them like, do you know what elections are? Do you know? Um, and, you know, given that we're in Illinois and it's midterms. So do you know what a governor does, right? Like focusing on the election that's going on, um, leaning into kind of the conversation, like, have you heard anybody talking about stuff like this at school? Or have you heard any conversations about what we've been out? Do you have questions about that sort of stuff? Um, I think it's about trying to be curious with them and start to I don't mean poke in a negative way, but kind of explore maybe is the correct word on what do they know? What do they need to know? And you can tie this to like social studies and stuff too, right? Like, again, our girls are learning about government. I think they were starting to learn about some of it in third grade. Right. And so when those come up, you're like, oh, so you learned about this stuff. Let's talk more about it. Or, um, I think right now, I don't know about class, but friends class is like learning, uh, the earth, the United States, the Midwest. And so then you can start kind of going through there and be like, do you know who's in charge of the United States. Like, you know how we're what about the state? What about locally, that sort of stuff. And so you can connect what they're learning in school and tie that into curiosity and tie that into things of being like, this is something you haven't talked about, man. Um, I also suggest maybe one of the great things that I think was a useful way to start talking about politics with the kids and like ask questions around it was the park. Our kids love the park. And they did before we lived across the street from one. But being able to point out like this is politics. The decision to have a park is politics. The decision of what's in there is politics. The making it clean is politics. Putting money into replacing broken, broken equipment is politics. Events that are being held in said Park are politics. Do we give this festival a permit? That sort of stuff, like that's all politics. And so maybe pointing that out when you're talking with them and you're playing at the park of it's the right age. Like, you know, like my one year old, you know, one year old, you're like, ah, this is politics. You have a swing. I like when they get older, start pointing and stuff like that. Oh, I think, um, probably like age four is where I, we started with ours, something like that. But in ways that they understand of like an understanding words that they understand, like the community has people that are in charge of this, like this is their job in part or unpaid job. Um, but they're responsible for it and explaining that sort of stuff to them. So making it tangible, finding opportunities, whether it's through school or life or whatever to be like, hey, that's politics. Let's ask them and ask questions that come to mind on that age appropriate ones, you know, and ask them like, hey, solve the Russian Ukraine war for your nine year old. Um, but you might want to ask them stuff and explain things to them in ways that you're like, alright, here's how they can understand it. What happens? Because some of these things that you're bringing up, I was like, this is great. And then in my mind, I'm like, I don't know, some of this stuff. So I'm thinking in my head, I'm like, thank God. I can say like, hey Google, what does a governor really do? And then like, but I don't love that. But so be honest about that. Like, it's such a neat opportunity for like, honesty with your kid to be like, I don't know, let's learn something together. Like you're learning all day at school with your friends. Want to learn something with mom? Like the amount of stuff that I don't know, I don't know about you and parenting that, like your kids expect you to know everything. And I think it's good practice in life because you have to sit there and be like, I don't know, or you can make something up. Or maybe you do know. Um, but, but the opportunity to say, I don't know, let's go find out together. That's pretty neat. Because then like, like I learned like, I didn't know this when my mom did. It's like, it's humbling for you perhaps, but like exciting for them to learn alongside their parents this morning. Hudson when I asked him to go pick up his room. I think like any boy and maybe some that have some ADHD tendencies, I went to go have him pick up his room and I could just tell picking up was not getting done. And so I walk in there and he got stopped with a book. And he loves dinosaurs and sharks. So he's like, mom, did you know that X, y, z? And I said, no, Hudson, thank you so much for teaching that to me. Let's put it away. Right. And I love to say thank you so much for teaching that to me, because it gives them that power. But I go back to it almost sounds in a very neat way that you view the world from a political lens. Is that a true statement? I think it's impossible to be a part of the world and not have politics in your mind. Okay, yeah, this is where I have room for improvement because I'm hearing you say all of these things and I'm like, man, he's really thinking and looking through a political view. And maybe I am. But I sure don't think so. So like when you see a park and you're like, oh, people voted this is money. Like I see people like I view the world from a people lens. And I know that if you and I talked long enough, you could probably very quickly, let's be honest, integrate that back to like politics, I have no doubt. But my first inclination is not to go towards the people voted for this. This was chosen and this had like people had influence. Like that type of thing is probably where you go where I'm like, man, aren't we so grateful for the people that put this in? And I'm not taking it that extra step. I'm definitely thinking it through more like a relational leadership lens. Hearing all of that to say, how can you because you'll do this so kindly. Anyway, challenge me to start maybe challenging myself to view life from more of a political lens. So I think one of the things that's worth starting from is like, I don't always think about like that through politics, but when there's an opportunity to teach the kids something, I, I kind of run with it. But one of the big things to keep in mind is like, politics is happening to you and your life, whether you want it to or not. Uh, maybe unfortunately, maybe fortunately. Um, but it's happening, right? Like this isn't like a sport that doesn't really matter. Like the bears lost on Sunday, but that doesn't impact like my tax rate that doesn't impact, um, you know, the safety of my food, whether I can get lettuce at the store. Right. And so those things don't impact your life. This does whether you're paying attention to it or not. And so, you know, might as well pay attention because then you're at least informed and you can do something about it. Because often people are like, why did this thing happen? Or why are they doing this? Like they did post like five notices in the community in many ways. You walked right past it. And so some, even in small towns, things are happening that impact your life that you're like, had no idea. Um, and so you should pay attention. And I say that as like the gentlest should, that could, ever should to just encourage people to be paying attention to it at all levels, which is super hard to do. Um, because it impacts you in small and really large ways. You say it so eloquently, like when you said that I'm like, dang it, I want not even like I should. It's more of a, I want to, and I think it has come from a life of not having, not having to been made to. And ignorance is bliss. And man, politics seems so big. I don't even know where to start. I'll just go write a keynote instead. And somebody else could be like, that sounds terrible. Right. But like, there's a piece of that for me where I just want to love. And here's the cool thing is because I, this will feed in nicely to your views. Like, I just want to love everybody. I just want people to know I appreciate them and that I'm proud of the work that they are doing, the effort that was put into it. Wonderful job. Like, I sound so fluffy right now. And it comes like from a fear of man. If I, if I take a stance, if I make a choice, somebody's not going to like that. And that's okay, man. Didn't know we were gonna go to therapy, did we? Did we? I mean, I'm not suggesting that like everything become politics and stuff like that. That's actually and I'm sure we'll talk more about it. Like, I think we could use being less partisan in many ways, though more civically engaged. Let's go into that. Why do you think that that would benefit us? So the number one thing is actually kind of central to what you're saying is, I think people are should be central to our thought process. And people are so much more interesting than their vote, right. Like, oh, say that especially. That's so good. People are far more interesting than their vote choices, right? Because politics is super complicated and we only have two parties in America, which is super weird, by the way. And we talk about that. And even in households of married couples, even if they vote the same way, it may be for very different reasons. I don't know about you and Jeremy, but and I often disagree about politics and have good discussions. And even if we end up at the same vote, it is often for very different reasons. We're not unique. Like there's research around this, like there's research around like, yes, we tend to marry our party or the party that we lean to often enough. Um, but there's so much diversity that you're like, you can crack each party into like three parties, roughly like depending on the political science research. It's like five to nine. Um, and so yeah, center that like politics is so much more people are so much more interesting than their politics. And a bigger part of the problem though, it kind of connects with what we're saying is that politics become so important. It used to be like here on our priorities, and we'd have so many other identities. You know, you're a you're a mom, you're a nurse, you're a part of the Masons. You're, uh, and, and not always like healthy, like race used to be much more central to a lot of our identity. But you go to this specific church, you, um, you know, have this specific hobby. I'm a train enthusiast. I have no idea what other people's hobbies were, right? Like I'm not, but I'll say somebody might be right. But like, all these other things used to be really central to our identities. And now Politics is becoming like the central identity for us. And then it also comes with the fact that I'm bringing in like psychology research when there are only two teams, us versus them real quick, real quick. We're we're operating in twenty twenty six on like thousand year old hardware that is still very like tribal in our mind. And so it becomes us versus them really quick. And you don't even know them, but they're them. So you hate them and you love us even though you don't know us and us may be doing naughty things that you're like anybody else does that I don't like it. But us did it. Somebody that's in us did it. And so and this impacts like everything. It impacts who we hang out with, the purchases that we make, the shows that we watch, the food that we consume, the hobbies that we have, like so many things are like liberal or conservative coded or Democrat or Republican coded that we do, and we don't know everybody, right? And we don't know everything about them. So we often will take something small that we know about somebody and we're like, well, that obviously means they have this politics and then that shapes how we interact with them, whether we like them or not, whether we interact with them or not. And that also extends to who we think the parties are. We're like, well, obviously, you know, ninety percent of Republicans are households that make over two hundred thousand dollars a year. And you're like, that's not like that doesn't work that way. Right? Or all Democrats think some wild, absurd thing that got highlighted by our favorite news media that you're like, literally once this one time this thing happened and you're saying like, this happens all the time and it's supported by this. So we like, we misunderstand people and we misunderstand the party. And we again, boil people down to like one little thing that we think signals this party, this affiliation and that shapes it. And we're only hanging out with people that we we agree with politically often. Um, we're only going to church with people that we, we agree with. Often it used to be like fifty, fifty, whatever the, whatever the pews you were sitting next to somebody, it's like a fifty fifty that the party. And now you can pretty much guess the part of politics of somebody often enough based off of what pew they're sitting in. Right. Um, and again, people are just so much more interesting and complicated than that. And like, there's so many more things that are like, worth arguing about than like political identity on issues that we can't control. You're like, because I know somebody, I don't know, a Democrat here and a Democrat governor signed some bill in, I don't even know. Um, let's go Maine. Uh, I'm now mad at that Democrat because Janet Mills signed a bill in Maine over something. You're like, how does that one work? Did you even ask them what they thought of that? No. You didn't. Um, and so yeah, I think we should care less about our partisanship, but I think we should be more civically engaged. We should be more thinking about how to know things, how to do things, how what's the process? Volunteering, doing these sort of things. Because there's a whole logic around what we call crosscutting cleavages and multiple identities and like shared activity, like having a shared goal. If you take two people that are from two different groups and you're like, today our goal is to clean up the park. They now have a mission together and that helps lower the politics. And along the way, you might be talking to somebody about something as you're in a bowling league on a bowling team, and you're trying to beat the other team, which is also mixed. If you do it right and you're like, hey, Dave, I saw on Fox News that Democrats all think this and Dave can sit there and go, no, it or explain like, no, no, no, like they misrepresent why, like, here's why. And they're like, and you get there and you're like, oh, that's not as crazy. And that works for both parties. I'm just using that as an example. And so because, you know, Dave and you are competing together on the same bowling team against them, who's the other bowling team? It changes the dynamics, it creates interpersonal relationships, and it gives you somebody to talk to about politics. It puts a face on politics. And we need that face, let alone our kids need that face. They need to sit there and see that friendly face and go like, oh, mom and dad vote this way. But I like this bird. My little league coach is really great and really kind, and they vote for the other party. And so I'm not going to believe that all the other party is evil because my little league coach is real nice to me. So these things are important. Such a really good example because I think sometimes we all know that we judge too quickly, and we don't want our kids to think of politics being good versus evil, because the way in which possibly they treat people can be based back to that. Mhm. Yeah. And we get it wrong again. Like, think about this. Uh, that we stereotype based off of things and we develop a politics and then we don't like somebody we've never talked about because we know some little thing about them, right? And so we do that as adults. Yeah. Think about that as kids. And people are so much more complicated than that. Like, I'll use myself as an example here because I think this is sort of useful, but like, what if what you know about me is, let's see, I drive an F-150. I have firearms. I live in a small town. I fly the American flag and I go to church every week. A vision of how I vote forms in your head, right? Um, but let's say you know that I have a PhD in political science. Oh, I work for a public university. I donate to NPR. The only reality TV show I watch is like, Great British Bake Off. Um, I'm trying to think of something else liberal coated. Uh, I not only know who Death Cab for cutie is, I have thoughts on their albums, right? Like then that's a very other other like picture, right? And so knowing all of that, you're like, this is, I don't know what the picture is in my head, but if you only know certain things about people, it becomes really easy to form these stereotypes and decide how they're going to vote and then treat them based off of that, because you assume their politics are different than yours. And that gets, again, really complicated for so many reasons. But one of the biggest one is politics isn't even the two parties. Then there's so much diversity in that. And so you miss it when you stereotype on people, when you center politics so much on yourself and on others. That was a perfect example. So good, so good. Okay, so when we think about exposing our kids to political news Specifically, what should parents be mindful of? Because we don't want to sit them in front of the TV and say, you know, we're not going to say this, but like, I don't know enough. So let this be the thing that teaches you like, oh my Lord, don't do that. Yeah. Uh, one like, is it the American Psychological Association actually has like a research around this, like, don't do that. Like, don't expose your kids to screaming, talking heads on TV or whatever podcast you're listening to. That is just saying the most outlandish stuff because it wants you to continue to listen so that they can make money off of you or watch. Um, and so we don't want to do that, but I also don't want to like prescribe like approximately two hours a week. You should be talking to your kids about like, that's just like, that's not, that's not a box though that I can check. AJ check, right? Like even in our household, it's maybe like twice a week that we end up talking about stuff like this. Um, and maybe it's a little bit more during election season, a little bit less during it. But again, I'm not saying like, make sure you talk to Sid and Hudson twice in a week about politics. Right. So, you know, there's not necessarily a prescribed way about going, you know, setting amount of numbers and whatnot. But I would say probably less is more. Um, when it comes to especially, like I said, like what I call like Firestarter media, the talking heads that are screaming that, you know, the other side's a bunch of communists and the other side's are a bunch of Nazis and stuff like that. And you're like, none of that. I would recommend nobody listen to that sort of stuff. Um, so if there's ways to like find thoughtful things to listen to, I have no idea. I wish I, I went to look for this if like, if there's a podcast like aimed at kids of just like talking politics to help them. If there isn't, I don't know, maybe that's an idea for in the future, but trying to find things that are safe ways for them to talk about it is not cable news. It's not safe for anybody who's quite or listening to cable news, or listening to talk radio or listening to a podcast, stuff like that. So I would instead say finding opportunities to have conversations with them about things as they naturally come up again, if we're at the park and we're playing and the kids are like locked in that day and paying, actually paying attention to you and not being chaos goblins like this might be an opportunity to talk about this. Or, you know, if it's something that's impacting them or something that came up in a conversation, or they might come to you and invite you in to actually have an example of this from this past weekend that involves your dad. Do tell. So we were at volleyball, um, and I was sitting next to me and your dad's over my shoulder and my father in law's next to him, and they start talking about the price of diesel fuel because it's pretty expensive right now. Yeah. And for like several minutes, I'm in a little bit. And then after Maura's like, what's diesel like? We don't drive diesel vehicles. So she does. And I was like, okay. And she's like, why were you talking about it? Okay, let's now talk about agriculture policy and economics and international politics a little bit at the level they can understand. Right. But that just came up naturally. And so we talked about it, and I don't take every opportunity. Like one of the things is like, I talk about, you know, talking about here, like taking these opportunities, it's literally not everyone. If I did like my kids would probably hate me and I would hate myself being like, well, this is politics. We just went to the grocery store and that's now talk about like how this is, I don't do that and don't do that. Um, and talk to them at like the level that they can understand. Um, my, one of my twins, uh, Micah has thoughts on pedestrian traffic safety policy. I kid you not because we walk to school. And so he has thoughts on cars blocking sidewalks. He has thoughts on what should happen if a car runs a stop sign and nearly hits us walking the road, which has happened twice this year. Um, and that that should not be allowed. and we should call the cops. And so having to like, okay, like, no, you're right. Like. Road. Road safety is important. It should be safe for people to walk around. And so we used an example of something that he thought in a way that he understood it of like, yeah, that's a policy choice like that we make, make it safe to walk to school. So that was easy, right? I didn't go in there like this and this is how I passed. So now we gotta go talk to the village board or the county board. No no no no no no no. This was like yeah, you're right. Kids should be able to walk to school and we should be making it safer for them. That's all I said. And he got to hear I'm right. And, and the idea of yeah, kid safety, your safety matters. And we that's policy. Like we should be doing things to make it safer for kids to walk to school. Right? So there's an example from a four year old and an eight year old, one more simple one, a little bit more complex. And I didn't again, with with Maura, I didn't get like super complicated things. It's just like there's a war in the Middle East going on right now. And that's impacting diesel fuel and, you know, regular gas and also fertilizer and this sort of stuff. And that matters because that impacts the cost that the farmers have and the price that they have to sell things. And then that's going to impact the price at the grocery store. So that's why they were talking about it, because partially that's how your dad makes a living. And part of it is just it's an interesting thing to be talking about. And people talk in public. So taking opportunities like that, again, not everyone, I would hate myself if I took everyone. So let's not do that. Such a good example. And it lessens the pressure that I think so many of us are like, I know now I gotta do this, I gotta do this. Like, no, that's so good. And I wrote down some of the questions that you had mentioned just so that we can start the conversation and like, let them guide it. You don't have to be the one know, but create a safe space for them to be curious is one of the biggest things that I would stress is, you know, I've seen examples of parents being like, nope, we think this and that's it. And any question around that, we're just trying to figure out the world of like, why do we. And it is like punished. It is like a loyalty test of like, no, even up to like teenagers. I, you know, in college, I talked to a college student recently that was like the first time, like talking to me and asking me questions about politics was the first time that they felt safe in their words, talking politics. And this is not somebody being like, I'm talking to somebody. I'm assuming to our conversation a liberal that know, like, and they had very conservative views and, and that was fine. Like we had a good conversation and it was safe for them to ask questions and ask for resources. And they're like, I've never had this, like hearing that from a kid that they had never gotten a chance to have like a safe conversation because then that makes them like develop like a bunker mentality about those thoughts as well. So we have to have. And I know this like phrasing is loaded for some people, but safe space for our kids to be able to come to us and be curious about the world and say, I don't like I heard about this. Why am I hearing about this country? Like, what's going on? Or why do these signs say these words about this person that if I like their governor Ray, or their senator or their president, like, why? Like you can get mad about it, but then they're not going to talk to you. So you gotta meet them where they're at and go, okay, well, where did you hear that from? You know, what do you think about that? Why do you think that? Lean with curiosity and then you start kind of being like, well, have you thought about this? Have you thought about like, we're talking kids even well into like our twenties, our brains are still changing, like our chemicals and our brains are still changing and stuff like that. And so they don't have fully formed thoughts on a lot of this stuff. Adults don't have fully formed thoughts. I don't have fully formed thoughts on a lot of political issues. And so creating a space to allow them to ask you questions, to have that humility to say like, I don't know, and to lean in with that kind of curiosity and empathy, because then that's what they're going to model. And we want to model that. We want people to have curiosity and have empathy when they are talking about politics with other people. So we need to have that with them because these are things we have to talk about. You don't talk about if you don't talk about politics, it's not great in a democracy. Democracy must be vibrant. We're supposed to talk about these things. We're supposed to be having these conversations, and we're supposed to be engaged and informed and this sort of stuff. So let's be democratic, small d Democratic I that was clever. I love your energy talking about this. And I want I'm going to hold you accountable in a couple of weeks. I want you to ask our kids something like political base so that they can be surrounded by someone else besides mom and dad. Right? Because I'll be the first honest, I haven't, you know, we want safe people for our kids to be able to talk this type of stuff through. And I would love for you to be able to be like, hey, Sydney Hudson, what's something, you know, ask a better fitting question. But I would love that because that's holding parents and parents accountable too. I love that. Okay, two thoughts before we go to my favorite part of the lightning round, AJ had put us in contact and we interviewed Doctor Lindsey Cormack. And that was one thing I was going to bring back up is she wrote a book called Raising Good Citizen Practical Citizens Practical Ways to Teach Kids Civic Responsibility. It's a great read. I definitely learned some things in there, but also like, I feel like you kind of took it a step further. That's a great thing. It's I'll link that in the show notes so that you could go back and listen to that too. But that was a really cool book to kind of get me started on realizing that politics can start with civic engagement. Okay. Yep. As we head into lightning round. I want to get us a little bit of a teaser. What is your most controversial political take? I actually have two, and they're connected, I promise. So the first one is that particularly local politics. But this all extends all the way up to the national level. When it comes to legislative branches, it's too small. So meaning our town councils, village boards, school boards have too few people on them. There's actually, um in political science it's like this, the cube root theory, basically that when you break down legislative bodies, it should be a cube root of the population. So you gotta do a little bit of math, um, that it represents, right? So like a town of nine hundred people, the village board should be like ten. I think that's the cube root of, of that. Um, and then you have the mayor. So it's eleven, it's an odd number and that sort of stuff. Right. Um, and the idea around this is a couple of things of like five people on a board is not does not even reflect the amount of diversity in a small community. Right? Like especially, I mean, our community is relatively small and the diversity of life experiences of employment, of education, background and knowledge is incredibly diverse. And yet it's funneled into a really small group of people. I think we have more than five, but it's still not huge. And I'm not not attacking our board, but just using this as an example. Right. And so we don't have enough voices in there on things. And so it actually should be larger. And part of this also has to do with like civic engagement, civic responsibility. If it's only a small number of people that have it, it's easy to sit there and say like, that's over there. I don't need to know about it. I don't know anybody in it. I actually think I'm only moderately friendly. I don't mean that in a negative term. I just mean that familiar with like one person on our village board, and I don't know anybody else on it well enough to talk to them about something, right? So we have more people that creates more voices, more representation, that sort of stuff. Another thing is viewing like local politics as basically developmental territory or like minor leagues. I don't mean that in a negative way, but if we want to have more experienced better, because we certainly need better, uh, on both sides of the aisle at the national level, they have to learn how to do these things along the way. If, you know, you threw somebody in that never knew how to play volleyball before, it might be entertaining to watch, but you want your livelihood and your tax rate and like your foreign policy, settled on somebody that literally knows nothing. Good comparison. Right? Like if, if the taxes you were going to pay depended on the performance of the volleyball team, I think you would care a lot and spend a lot of time and effort. Not that you, you do spend a lot of time and effort developing, but it matters even more. Right. And there would be more opportunities. You're like, I really don't like we can't have two people playing and playing on this team. We need to have more people. And so I think there's something to say about that. Um, and as like developing talent that we see folks move from the village board to the, to the village mayor, to the, maybe the county board, to maybe the state rep to maybe. And people sometimes see that as like a negative thing of like career politician. I'm like career plastic surgeon, career heart surgeon. You gotta go to the mechanic because you don't want to trust a career doctor. Good luck. Nice knowing you. So we do have to recognize that this is like an expertise that is developed within reason. Like we want to have checks and balances and all that sort of stuff and not let people stay in the same position for for too long. There's actually research around this that you should move positions X amount of years for lots of reasons. And so we should give incentives to move on while having like a farm system to develop political talent. And so that's why I tend to think our local government is too small. One, there's research on the size of this too. I think there's implications for that. That's really good. And related to this is my second controversial one, and that is when we're expanding some of these seats. Some of them should be selected like jury duty. They should not be elections because think about this. Think about this. I'm looking at an example of this. And that is an incredibly capable, smart person that would be great in office. You will never run for office, I don't think. You're so kind. Right? Right. And there's others in our community that are, are wonderfully brilliant and smart and capable. And it's like, why aren't you in an elected. And like, I have no interest, right? For a variety of reasons. And so if we do it like jury duty, where it's just like one term, they get to test it out basically, and then you're in there and you're like, yeah, I didn't hate that. That wasn't so bad. Right? It's a good thing. And it's also like a civic knowledge thing. We have this related to jury duty that people that have served on juries are more knowledgeable about the legal system than those that did not, and more knowledgeable than themselves before they were on there. It's not like only people that are knowledgeable of this legal system go do jury duty. You get taught some of this stuff and you learn it. And then when somebody is like, I'm going to go run for office because this thing makes me really angry and it's going to be super easy to fix. You get to go, huh? Uh, that's gonna be seventeen meetings dealing with three local ordinances, a state statute, and a guy named Gary at the county level that for some reason has the final say on this. Like, you think this is easy? It ain't because I did it. And it should be handled like to where people get to be like, hey, for X, Y, and Z reasons, I can't serve and that's fine, but it gives people the opportunity to be in office that maybe wouldn't run in the first place until they get in there and like, say it's so bad. Um, and again, it increases representation because there is like a selection of people that tend to opt into running for politics. And when our politics is so toxic and so conflictual, and that's extending down to the local level. There's examples of this in this area currently. Then the only people that are running are perhaps not the best of us. And so if we want to get better politicians, we should change the incentive structure and the way that they could potentially. I'm not talking about like all the seats, if we're moving from something like seven seats to ten seats, like, all right, one or two of them, let's try this out. And then also, I think this is a neat like from a political science standpoint to see what the impacts of this sort of stuff is. Like we live in the labs of democracy. We've talked about the fifty states and local government as labs of democracy for two hundred and fifty years. So let's do that a little bit in ways that might shake up our politics and increase voices to it. And so, yeah, I think my, my, my most controversial political take is that more people should be involved in the process and we should increase the pathways for people to get there, which is sort of like the least controversial political take, I think, but I could come back to that of getting more people involved, getting more voices involved and getting increasing civic knowledge. Because even if you only serve one term, you know more about politics than your kids will know more about politics and than people around you will know more about politics. So I loved listening to that. That sounds like a great plan. You should make that happen. I don't know if I have that power. Um, but I would love for it to, I mean, one of the big things I, one of the things I study is like electoral systems and how people get power because I think how people get power shapes their behavior and their incentives when they're in office. And right now, we're not like across the board, our incentive structure is not great, and the way people get there is not great. We can talk about so many other things, but we we're getting not we're not getting our best at many levels on either side of the aisle. And that's part of the problem, too, is that there's only two sides of the aisle and there's reforms that might open that up. So that's so cool. I've learned so much today as an adult. Thank you for not like dumbing it down, not even the right word. Compassionately sharing your thoughts with no judgment. You are always like that. But especially in today's conversations, this has been so great. Again, like I said, that was a little teaser into Lightning round. First answer that comes to your mind. I want to hear it. What is one thing that your kids have taught you that totally surprised you? Um, I think humility, um, because I don't know about you, but going into parenting, I was like, I'm going to be Mister Rogers. I'm always going to be patient and kind and have the right answers. And there are certainly days that I more probably resemble the drill instructor from like Full Metal Jacket, unfortunately. Right. And so like the humility be like, you're not, you're not your best always. And when you're not at your best, always. Maybe you aren't parenting at your best and therefore maybe give some other people some grace when you see them not parenting at their best as well. Because it's like, hey, remember last week you weren't at your best when X, Y, z happened? Right? So I think my kids have taught me humility. I love it. I think of when kids used to cry in the grocery store before I had kids, and I remember thinking like, man, they just need a spanking. And then I was having a full circle moment ten, fifteen years later when our kids were crying in the grocery store. And I know spankings don't work. And I'm like, there's literally nothing I can do. And I remember just pushing the cart and they're just crying. And I'm like, I, I just, again, was just like old me doesn't didn't know crap. So humility is our posture, right? What is your favorite way to spend a Saturday with your family? Oh gosh. I think that depends on like the time of the year and stuff. But I think our kids are so active right now that if they are stuck inside the house all day, it's like a bomb going off. I don't know if you feel like that at yours. So I think getting out and doing something like maybe having a slower morning, be able to have donuts or something like that, maybe watch. I, I watch English soccer. And so maybe watching a game because of the time difference and then getting out and about go for a hike or something like that, right? Like go to a park, maybe not just the park across the street here, but we have so many in the area. It's really great. Like Western Illinois has a ton of parks, um, which is awesome. And trails, we, we now have a couple of trail systems where we're at. And so I think getting out and doing something like that, having a lunch outside as well. Um, I love being able to do that. Um, and pretty much exhausting the kids in a good way. Maybe go and do something like children's museum, go to the zoo further out, like stuff like that, like activities. I like doing things and getting engaged in the world with our kids. Um, and watching them learn things and again, like live, having to play off of that. Like parents, so much of parenting is just improv, and with a partner that maybe is like the most chaotic goblin that you could possibly have, that everything is. Yes. And up there, right? So getting out and getting in the world with them, them learning something else, learning something else, interacting with the world, and then coming back and maybe watching like a comfort movie with them over dinner, whether something in the crock pot that's been cooking all day or something that we can make at home. I love home cooked meals. I love that sort of stuff. And so, um, I think that's sort of it. And then a reasonable bedtime for them. I love it. I like how you said for them. Okay. Last question. What is one word that your friend would use to describe you? Oh my goodness. Um, I think different friends would use different words, but I think the one that was once used to describe me that I think is like an aspiration to live up to is the word winsome. Um, was once used to describe me and it means like engaging and endearing and um, just other words for it. But I liked that one, and I think I liked how that felt, for lack of a better way of putting it. And so that word, I think, is the one that I would like, but I think there's a lot of others. Chaos Goblin might come to mind. Shush. Know your friend here would describe you as your compassionate in so many ways. And as a parent, as a dad, as a political figure, as a friend, you are very compassionate. And that totally was seen and felt through our time together. How fun was this? I cannot wait, like I don't think I ever thought at the end of a political conversation, I would be like, I can't wait to talk about this. And yet I can't wait to talk about this. So thank you for your knowledge, your expertise, and your compassion. You're welcome. I have two things. If I can, if I can encourage folks, yourself and others to bring democracy into the home, some when it doesn't matter. Like, what are we having for dinner tonight? Advocate for it. That sort of stuff is, I think, going to be useful, right? Again, they learn that process. And as we're building to the election, talk with them about the election and what you're going to do and who you're going to vote for and why. And again, age appropriate ways. Yeah. And maybe take them with you on Election day. Um, we take ours. We have a whole conversation of like, all right. Stopping, asking who we're voting for, what we're doing stops now. We have to just walk across the park. It's super helpful. It's like, get it out of your system before we get there. But they get to see the process and that sort of stuff. They get the I voted sticker and that sort of thing. So I would say like, engage them in democracy at home when it doesn't matter might be a safe way to do it. You're like, yeah, I don't really care if it's pizza or Chinese tonight. Like that's fine. Um, and take them with you to vote. And related to that, make election Day fun for them by making an election cake. This is something that we used to do in America. We used to make election cakes. So sort of like a fruitcake meets bread. There's recipes online. Look up election cake. Um, and make one and, like, have it on election day. I think it'd be fine for breakfast if you don't mind a little bit of like, fruit meats, like bread ish, um, for breakfast, but maybe towards the end of the day after dinner, vote totals are coming in and, and that sort of stuff. Make it something fun for them. Um, by taking them with you and giving them cake might be a good suggestion to cake. That's right. I'm so glad you added that in because there I will never forget I was part of the committee that got the addition put on in our elementary school, and I have never cared as much about election night as that night, and I stayed up late and I felt so proud of the people's voting choices. And then since then, I have felt not so proud. Right. And like that feeling we want to give our kids, and we want it to make it an event. So I am going to link an election cake recipe in the show notes because what a good idea. What a good idea. AJ, thank you for your time. Thank you for your passion. Uh, let's, let's get this election done and over with so we can talk more. Thanks for having me, I appreciate it. Working moms redefined. You can do hard things. Thank you for listening to the Working Moms Redefined podcast. It is not lost on me that you chose to spend time together. Thank you. Let's connect outside of this space on socials. We'd love for you to follow us on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, Pinterest. We've got it all to connect with you. If you feel as if someone in your life could be impacted by this message, feel free to share it. That is the biggest compliment as we part ways together. Remember, you can do hard things.
