Untitled - April 15, 2026
00:00:00 Speaker: Hello everyone, and welcome to today's episode of Working Moms Redefined. A look behind the microphone. Is this your podcast voice? Because it's top notch. Yeah. You like it? Who are you? Well, I'm Jeremy, and you're Denise, and we're going to be focusing on you today. Not me. Thank you. We thought after the success of last podcast with both Jeremy and myself, that feedback from all of you said, well, why doesn't Jeremy ask the questions? And I thought, that's a darn good idea. It's a terrible idea, but okay, why is it a terrible idea? Because I'm not the one that talks. Clear your throat. Speak from your lungs and take a sip. Because we thought we need wine for this one. It may become a necessity. We'll see. Let's do this. Okay, so you prepare these questions. I don't know, like a week ago, and I have not looked at them, and no one is going to. Time the silence. If you're like, what are you talking about? Listen back to the first episode. Silence was part of it and I feel as if we've improved as a couple since then. Yeah, but silence is part of my growth for me. Elaborate, please. Well, it took me a while to realize that I needed a pause every once in a while. The power of the pause. That's right. Okay, so set the scene. What are we. What are we looking at? The reason why we're doing this again, of course, is because not only did you guys want to do this, but I think it's there's power in relationship, in questions and relationships. Which reminds me, after last time I had people ask the questions, what questions I asked. So I'm gonna need you to send these questions to me so that I can make a downloadable for everybody, because they might want to give this list to their partner. If you're watching on YouTube, he is shaking his head. This is this is a very personalized question list o for you. Well, on that my hands. I didn't put deodorant on. I don't have a bra on and everything just got sweaty. Welcome to our nightly podcast together dear nightly podcast. Yeah. The last time we did was at night in the basement. Oh, we were ready for bed. Okay. That's true. And all that jazz too. Onward and upward. Alright, so my first one, it's kind of boring. I love boring, but I think it's gonna I think it's going to have some good conversation attached to it. You might need to get closer to the mic from time to time. At what moment did you realize that you wanted to start this podcast and why? I. Without being a jerk face, if you would go back to episode one or two, I tell you how I went about starting the podcast. But for those who might not have followed along, it was in Phoenix, Arizona at a conference and I went through a manifestation thing. I like to call it a critical thinking session, and I worked through what I wish I had known earlier and how I can help serve women and men who might not feel like they are doing enough at both home and work. Good question. I need to not ask that because I'm going to say that every time. Good question. Thank you so much for asking. That was wonderful. I don't need any of those. No, it's not a matter of need. It's a matter of that's gracious. Anyway. Okay. Next. Okay. I want you to think back completely to normal, to. Yes, yes. Our entire parental experience. Okay. And what part of being a mother brings you the most joy? Oh my, what a good question. Seeing them do life their own way with the guidance that we have helped build. Like I like the fact and don't tell them this, but I like the fact that they don't necessarily do things the way that we did or do. Like, I like the fact that they feel like they can go against the grain or to challenge us in a kind and respectful way. Or working on the kind and respectful way part of it, right? But like, I enjoy that. I enjoy giving. What is that on the side of the road? The guidelines. You know what I mean? No, I don't like bowling, but like you know, you can't use. No, not use that because you don't like bowling. Yeah. Bowling sucks. I think of it this way because I accidentally hit this button on my car the other night and I was annoyed and instantly I was like, why is this not going off? You know, that button that you can push? And then it tells you when you're on the white lines too far off the button. Oh, the lane drift button. Apparently I'm drifting all the time, fast and furious. I should have been on that movie. The button is parents, right? Like we are the buttons. We are the one that alerts and goes annoyingly. Ah, you're crossing that line and the kid is the drifter. I like that they drift. I want I want them to drift. Well, yeah, they're finding their limits right now. I'm also finding my limits. Cheers. And it's our job to be there to help guide them. Not to do it for them. Wow. Look at you participating in conversation. That's so good. Okay. Next one. Let's go. What is the most difficult part of motherhood? Not bringing my own trauma into the situation. And what what helped you navigate that? My therapist. You. Um, the most difficult, difficult part of motherhood. Mhm. Uh, yeah. I mean, that the trauma thing, like I can, and I've, I've told coaching clients this before, I can tell a significant difference in the way in which we've parented Sydney to that of Hudson in that like, we don't do the do it because I said so or we give an explanation and we ask why. And I feel as if we started doing a better job of that with Hudson. And then obviously, since we learned a lot from the Maxwell training stuff, but Sydney, we definitely parented the way that we were parented at the beginning. And still sometimes I feel that way. And I was talking to a friend the other day, like, perfectionism is something that I still have to work on. And I, I don't necessarily struggle with Sydney being okay with a seventy eight in math right now. I am kind of actually in awe because she bombed her first test in fourth quarter and me not bringing in my trauma, right? Like, oh my gosh, she's going to get an F or we're not getting an A or whatever, right? Because that's me. That's how I would have taken it. And yet when I proposed it to her and said, yo, explain what we're going to do to get out of this. And she straight up did. She's like, I don't like parallelograms. Geometry is not my thing. I'm really good at graphs and I'm going to get it up next. And I looked at her in awe. Yeah, she's she is letting go of that perfectionism for you because you can't. That's not. It's not that I can't. It's that it's. I'm consistently working on it. I would say I couldn't when I was that age, right. Also, don't tell me something I can't do. We know how that turns out. It's still something that you are having trouble with letting go of. For her, maybe. I would definitely say I heard something the other day that why are we striving for perfectionism when we should be striving for excellent effort? And I really love that. Yeah. And that is something that we always ask Cydney, how do you feel like you did? Yeah, I'm impressed by you right now. You are doing phenomenal. Maybe you should. We should do this more. Maybe it's the wine. You're doing great. Well thank you, I appreciate it. It's really hard for me to not ask you these questions, too. Like. And you're doing a great job. Well. Thank you. Okay, now I feel like we're being weird. Go work. Life balance does not exist. Is never achievable. Hey. Good job. You're welcome. If you let me finish. No, I gotta cut you off. So what steps do you take to get one hundred percent as a mom to show up? I like to know the expectation. And then I ask questions not only as to how to meet that expectation, but. And when I talk about expectation, I mean, I ask the kids and you, how do I show up one hundred percent? I, I really focus on being where my feet are. And that's hard. One of my friends, um, said at a recent conference, listen with your whole face. And I love that that stuck with me so hard because how many times are we on our phone or checking emails or dare I say, figuring out how we're going to get the Walmart delivery here in the next two hours instead of the next day, right? Like grocery shopping and all that stuff. Listen, listening with your whole face makes it very intentional. And so if I focus on being where my feet are and listening with my whole face with them, I feel like that's how I can one hundred percent show up as a good mom. And not only that, I think you've done a very good job at scheduling things to where you can be present one hundred percent of the time for the important things. And, well, that's very nice. And then, I mean, just look at your Fridays where you you have I don't take meetings on Fridays during the summer. And so during the school year, I've set up things to be school related, right? Like coaching in that regard. Yeah. Great. Thank you for all the compliments. Let's keep rolling with. You're welcome. I have to unlock my phone again. Uh, what stands in your way of your goals as a mother myself. Why? Because the only way to not reach that is if I choose to not. And I am the only person who stands in my way. Which means I'm also the only person that can make the decision to go or get out of your own way. Oh yeah. Also goals as a mother, that's an interesting thought. Like, what is my goal as a mother? I want them to feel loved. And surprisingly enough, you can ask them if you're reaching that goal, like, hey, I really want you to feel loved. Do you feel loved? Did you feel loved today? A plus. And then now Sara, my therapist in the background is like, why are we measuring this? Why are why do you have to get the A? Because Sydney's not. To do it for her. It's fine. Exceptional effort. An exceptional effort. And since this is the Working Moms podcast, I would like to say it's the working parents because man, if they're the the analytics show, there's just as many men. Yeah. Continue. We're going to take every advantage we can to get in a woman's head so we can figure out what you're actually thinking. It's wise. You're brilliant. Um, your wife must be awesome. Kidding. Not really. I also put on here what stands in the way of your goals as a professional? Well, same answer yourself. Yeah, I think it's that. And what can we do as spouses to further support you in both aspects? This is going to be a discussion. And I was literally talking about it yesterday with a close friend. I don't know if this is going to answer this question, but it came to the forefront when you asked it. So let's talk about it. We often times I don't want to group all women, but lots of women that I spend time with. Wish that you would see the help that is needed by us, right? We wish that you would see that the bananas are empty, and that you could go on to the Walmart account and add bananas. We wish that you would see the wet towel on the floor and instead of stepping over it, hang it up. We wish that you could see the mental load that so many of us carry. And there's a recent podcast episode that talks about the Sunday Basket Theory, where she literally writes all of the mental load on note cards and she has like a stack of eighty. And then I question, I'm like, is that effective time use? And she goes, well, what is what currently you're doing working? And I said, valid. Touche. Nonetheless, it's that mental load. It's that concept of I wish I didn't have to ask for what I want. And like, the more I dig into that, because marriage counseling taught us this. And I remember Tony looking straight at me and he's like, Denise, you have to get over yourself. And the fact of thinking that he is going to know what you want because do you even know? And I was like, duh, duh, dang, I thought I did, but I think it was deeper for me and that I was deserving of wanting to ask for what I wanted. And that's deep. But ultimately, I was fearful of sharing my true feelings or thoughts or anger or joy or sadness in fear that you would leave. And as simple as that sounds coming out, it was like hard to communicate at that time. And part of it was I was carrying that mental load that so many of us wish that you guys would see. I am not going to be like, but you know, you have a lot going on. And because like that is true. But that's surface level. We all have a lot going on. And to Tony's point, I need to ask for help. And I wish that I didn't have to for sure, but I bet we're not going down there right now. But I bet that there are things that you wish that I would do or notice, probably specifically in the bedroom without you having to ask. You know what I mean? So it goes both ways. And yet, ladies, I still have to work on this. We've been out of marriage counseling now for two years, and for the first time a month ago now, I asked him. I was at a point where tears were falling more than they should around freaking meal planning. But it's that decision fatigue. I am tired of making all of the decisions. Yes, I have the kids pick a meal, but there's still decisions on which day they have to get delivered. Dare I say get to get delivered the day? How many gallons of milk. Are we going to go in four days? Depending on how much time. Jeremy's home by himself before he pours that fifth cup of milk. Nan, I have a problem. Okay? You have an area of opportunity to improve, is what you have. Nonetheless, I asked you. I said I need you to take a night of dinner. I need you to cook. I will you tell me what you want me to order, but I. I am tired of not being served in that way. And that was not easy for me to ask. How happy I love Tuesdays. I freaking love Tuesdays. Tuesdays are the days that he cooks. And this past Tuesday, I don't know which one of them was. Good thing I don't hold grudges. Sydney and Hudson, they look and they were like, this is fantastic, dad. You should cook all of the time. I was like, fine, that is fine. I'm out of a job. Go for it, man. So I don't know if that answered your question, but it would help if you could read our minds, but I know that that is not attainable. So instead, I will advocate for us as partners to ask and share what you want and need and don't feel bad about it. And if they make you feel bad about it, you got to check them. And I, I, I, my dad taught me to hit a pretty good right hook so I can show you. I have bruises everywhere if you want to see them. Stop it right before Tuesday's started. Go. And this needs to flow. What is your favorite way to unwind after juggling work and mothering? It sounds like a ChatGPT question. It's not. It's actually came from my brain. So thank you. Wow, what a monster AI I am. Say it again. What's your favorite way to unwind after juggling work? A shower? I'm mothering by myself. Jeremy, what did you learn about me? And hot showers at the end of the day. I can't handle it. What? I can't handle your hot showers at the end of the day. Why? Because it's too hot. Oh, I meant it as it's supposed to burn your skin off when it's that hot. I meant in the sense of. Remember that a couple times when you tried to get in and I said, absolutely. That's what I'm saying. Like I tried. And even though, I mean, I could have, I could have convinced you, but I didn't want to because it was too hot that I thoroughly enjoy is a very nice long shower. Hot shower by myself. Mhm. Like even in the bathroom now, there are times where the kids will come and literally just stand there and just be. And I, I don't hate that, but don't get in the shower with me. No one, not even rubber ducky toys. It's time for the fun questions. I thought these were all fun. Oh, okay. What's your biggest pet peeve of me? I absolutely despise it when you jiggle your leg. You do that. You despise that when anybody does it. Is there anything specific that you do that annoys me? That I hate it so much. And you and Deanne are the only two people I can tell to stop. You just put your hand on me. Actually, okay, this is very superficial, and I'm. I'm. I do get annoyed by it when you don't trim the neck hair. I trim any hair until it's bad enough that I just needed. Yeah, but what if what if my legs were like that? What if your legs was like that? They are not like that. That was very well played there. That is. That is at least an inch growth. I have never let it get that bad. Sounds like we just need to pay for laser hair removal is what I'm hearing through my face. No. For my legs. Oh. Works in other places. It wasn't wasn't clear to me what you were talking about. Um, what about the kids? What about the kids? Do you have any pet peeves for the kids? Um. They like to listen to these, Jeremy. Well, be a learning experience and won't it? Do I have any pet peeves of the kids when they act too much like me? She means me. No. Um. I did find it always funny that my sister was like, do you know how much Hudson asks the question? Why? And I said, yes, yes I do, but I never found it annoying. I did find it cute and I never said because I said so. I always answered until the nth degree. Now don't tell me I didn't distract him from time to time. Well, yeah, I mean, by the twentieth. Why? And you really have to change the subject because he'll hold on to it. Inquisitive. I'll make a great salesperson, but if he retains any of the knowledge that he's getting out of those wise, he's going to be a very smart kid. Maybe he has to listen. That's what I mean. I mean, sometimes when Sydney gets overly emotional, but again, when they act like me. Yeah. Cool. All right. Is there something specific that I or the kids do that makes you feel extra loved or seen? You may started making cookies the other day to freeze them so that we could have cookie dough on moments when I wanted cookie dough. That was adorable. When Hudson puts his hands on my face and like, squishes and says, I love you. Um, when Sydney. She's a a projector. Human design. When she is able at a young age, to be able to infer how we are feeling is impressive. It makes me feel so valued and seen. And I mean like, what kid does that for an adult? I'll never forget one of the conversations we were having at the dinner table. And she looked at us and was like, that must have been really hard. And I started bawling because I was like, it was freaking hard. Thank you. Yeah. How'd you know? Good question. She is. She's very good at asking questions. Very good at just feeling what you're feeling without. Yeah. She's empathetic. Yeah. What has been your biggest win since you took off on your own? This is professional now. Wow. I didn't mean to get emotional with this one. Two things. Seeing people Grow because they. They did the hard work. That is the ultimate review, if you will. And to see them be so proud of the hard work that they've put in through one on one coaching or group coaching or even our advertising business, right? Like it's hard work to trust someone to spend a significant amount of money each year and to them, then see the reward in them. To be able to feel that reward is like, I just so I'm so proud of all of them. And then the second thing that I'm most proud of you said, right. What was the biggest win? Biggest win. Yeah. Um. The the trust It is such a gift to have so many amazing people trust you. Whether that is with their marketing and advertising on the media side or I mean, I get to share a lot of life with people and it's not lost on me. The trust that they give me, not only in keeping theirs stories secret and protecting them, but also to help guide them and ask them the right questions to know the next right step. Oh that's great. It's just so humbling. Dang, Jeremy, it's the wine. Good question. Yeah, it's hot in here. No it's not. Ah! Just fine. Gosh. Go! Where's the lightning round of fun questions. You said these were fun. I'm deflecting. go. What has been your biggest win since you took off on your own? I know I want to do it again. It was fun, not fun. I mean, it was, but go. Alright. What is one goal that you may not have expressed before? Out loud? Yeah. Um, one day I will speak to a crowd of five thousand people. I almost said ten thousand. I should say ten thousand. One day I will speak to a group of ten thousand people. One day. That's an amazing goal to have. Yeah, it just made my stomach feel very icky, like. Yeah. Holy crap. She just said that out loud way. But I gotta wait till the kids get in college before I start traveling. Is that the one goal? I'm officially sweating now. Um, and like, as I say that out loud now, I check myself because the right people will be in the room, whether that is one eight or ten thousand. I think that I, I just, I love the feeling of excitement that I get when I know there's a lot of people in the room and I could mess up and yet they'll never know that I mess up because I pray this prayer. I pray please God, do not let me get in the way of what you want them to hear. Like, don't let my words and what I think this audience should hear get in the way of what you want them to hear. And to think that someone like that is getting on stage to share life so that people feel better about themselves. That's why I want to do it with ten thousand people, because that just seems so cool and nobody talks about this kind of stuff. So bear that. Think about the change you can make with ten thousand people in the room. Think about the change we can make if you ask the next right question. Okay. Okay. Was that it? Those were good. They're pretty good. I have. Well, it's kind of one. What? Last one. Okay. What do you think? Sydney's going to grow up to be fun. I know that's not what you were wanting, but she's already fun. She doesn't have to grow up to be fun. But, like, I hope she's more fun than me because I feel like I'm too structured sometimes. Okay. What do I think? She's one of, I don't know, I would there. I don't, I don't know. I don't want to project anything onto them or to think that they have to be anything. But oh my gosh, I would love to work with her. I would love for her to do what we get to do, but. She'll figure it out. She has to go do something else before she can't come straight here. And what do I think, Hudson? I think I think Hudson will be he will command the room. He might ask for it nicely. But when he's in it, he will command the room. In one way or the other. Okay, let's do lightning round style. These were really great. This was fun. It's fun. It was hard for me not to ask you these questions. And I'm thankful that you took the time to prep. Well done. Thankful that you didn't ask them back to me. You told me not to. Okay, let's do vacations. Right. Wisconsin Dells or the Ozarks? Oh. That's hard. The fear in your eyes right now. Pills. Oh, we have had some good times there. Yeah. Um. What a cow. Oh, bummer. That's not what I thought. And the lavender farm and us. We're in both places. I'm just cuddling on the couch or cuddling in bed? Are you falling asleep in ten minutes or not? No. Then couch. Do you like photo shoots outside or inside? Because I don't like them. That's not true. You don't like getting your picture taken for our family? You didn't say that. You said photo shoots like I'm not. I don't really enjoy family photos taken inside or outside. Like the. You like the. Okay, well, that was hard. Um, would you rather pay someone to do construction work or do it yourself? Pay somebody to do it if they're actually going to do it? Otherwise, I'll do it. Uh, okay. You ask the final question. So these are like, would you rather it's this or that? Yeah. Okay. Uh, cruiser and all inclusive. Oh. What kind of cruise? Doesn't have to be specific. It's it's it's ah, the kids with us or I've never. I've never gone to an all inclusive with the kids. Set the scene. It's all four of us together. You're either on a boat or you're on a resort. Is instantly. I'm like, okay, is Hudson close to the edge of the cruise or is he off in the ocean? Right. Like there's those factors. Oh, man, those cruise railings are pretty tall. He can't really says the kid that fell off the Disney cruise. Um, I didn't fall off the Disney cruise. No, I'm saying, like, the week after we got back, they were climbing on the railing. And do you know Hudson, I don't know. I've never done an all inclusive with kids, so I, I'll have to say cruise a Disney cruise. Okay. Go. Yeah, that sounds like fun. Okay. Is that it? Yeah, that's the last question. The last question. That was a good one. So these questions, you're going to send them to me and we will have a PDF in the show notes. So if you would like your partner to ask these questions, because sometimes people don't ask questions because they don't know which questions to ask. So we will provide Jeremy will provide these for us. Was this fun? Did you enjoy it? It was fun. I'm proud of you. You showed up very much more authentically. You. I think we both did. Well. Thank you. You're welcome. Cheers. Ask for what you want. Cheers. You're supposed to drink. Oh, because you can do hard things. Thank you for listening to the Working Moms Redefined podcast. It is not lost on me that you chose to spend time together. Thank you. Let's connect outside of the space on socials. We'd love for you to follow us on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, Pinterest. We've got it all to connect with you. If you feel as if someone in your life could be impacted by this message, feel free to share it. That is the biggest compliment as we part ways together. Remember, you can do hard things.
