Untitled - April 2, 2026
00:00:00 Speaker: Personal growth and development is a forever journey, whether as a business person, a mom, a parent in general, or even a friend. Hi, it's Denise, and you're listening to the Working Moms Redefined Podcast. And today I am so excited to have Amy Kemp joining us, another person not too far from the recording location here in Illinois. She lives closer to Chicago, and she's the owner and CEO of Amy Kemp. She works with leaders and professionals to better understand how deeply our thoughts impact work. And literally every moment of every day of our life. Amy is a certified habit finder coach. These people interest me so much because it's literally taking the habits that you do today and moving you to where you want to go. And she has guided hundreds of female business leaders and owners through programs that are designed and curated to help replace subconscious thought patterns that we have that no longer serve us. And after meeting Amy and realizing her certification and habit finder, I of course had to take it. And as I told her offline, I said, I got a sixty nine back and the Enneagram three high achiever in me was like, that is not an A plus plus. And she'll later explain to all of us that that's not how this works. And so a little part of me is like, okay, I can take a breath. Oh, you're making me giggle because my daughter is in grad school for school psychology. And so she has to do all of these practice tests with us. And she just did this one. It's like for freshmen in high school. But I kept saying throughout it, am I getting an A? AM I getting an A? She's like, mom, this is not a graded test. And the cool thing about you, Amy, too, is that you've written a book. And if you're watching on our YouTube channel, you can see the beautiful cover in the background that's called the book is called I See You A Guide for women to make more, have more and be more. Without more work, sign me up. Her publisher describes this as a one on one coaching experience in a book, which I'm sure you're going to feel today. And what's really neat is, Amy, you live and teach through that thought process of you can't outwork your thought habits. Amy, welcome. What? I can't outwork something. My work ethic has told me that that is how I am successful. Help me. It's so good. Um, we run into this as high achievers where there's a threshold, right? Like the hard work gets us to somewhere. Um, but the interesting thing about subconscious patterns of thinking and the thought habits that I work with at this deeper level is that we're hardwired to survive. So patterns of thinking that help us survive get to be deeper grooves in our brain. But when you employ a survival mechanism, pass the point of needing it, it becomes detrimental and damaging. And so you run into this resistance down the road when you're still employing these same patterns of thinking. Yeah. It's fascinating. It makes me think that therapy is not enough. And that is exactly why you are here. And before we get into that habit finder and your your expertise in that, can you share with someone who might for the first time be learning about you? What is the heart behind your book? Where does that passion come from and that hope and desire that our listeners will take away from our time? Really important. I did not write this book about something. I really did write it for someone. I wrote it for women who. Have dug some ditches, we'll say. You know, they've built something. They've. They've climbed a ladder to a certain point. They've gotten somewhere. Uh, and the, the main mechanism that has gotten them there outside of just their natural brilliance and amazingness is that they work really hard and they will work pretty much anyone in any room. Um, the problem is, and this is where I found myself and this is actually the opening story in the book of my husband and I are going to meet with our financial advisor and I had prepared all the forms, you know, you fill out your, your goals and your dreams for the future and all of this. Um, so I'd spent some hours doing that before the meeting. We get there and I remember so vividly the the color of the chairs. I remember the sound of the air conditioning in the background kind of worrying. And Tess, who is a trusted advisor and friend of ours, she she's at her desk and she's got these forms and they're in front of her and she says, I've reviewed everything. Um, everything looks great in these forms. You're, you're organized. You know where your money is. You're not overspending. You don't have a lot of debt. And, um, there's just one problem. If you want to achieve the goals that you outlined here, and she sort of leaned forward on these forms and she said, you're not making enough money. And I don't know if you've ever had one of those moments. I don't know if she said another word in the whole meeting because I really wasn't listening beyond that. Um, I knew that sort of instinctively, but I was sort of avoiding it. We were also in the thick of the Uber era of parenting where I. There was no more time. You know, all the kids were in stuff and no one could drive. Um, I, I was already working full time. There weren't more hours. I just, I couldn't work harder at. And I remember sitting there thinking, I don't have any more hours. I can't work any harder. I'm also not willing to give up on these goals. And so then what? Right. There was just this really hard impasse. And people get there at different ages or in different seasons where they hit this impasse. But I embarked on a journey that led me to the core message of the book, which is you can't outwork your thought habits. And what really needed to change was me. I really needed to dig up some stories that were pretty deeply embedded, some patterns of thinking that were deeply embedded, and replace them with new habits that would serve me better. I knew two things. One, I knew I couldn't work more or harder. I wasn't willing to sacrifice any more time or energy. I didn't honestly have any more to give. And then two, I knew I wasn't willing to give up on those goals, like they were that important to me. And it created such a change. Like it was like from that moment on, life was different. Even though I didn't know how it would happen for a longer time, I knew like nothing was going to go back to the way it was before that day. I love that that is your moment from the entire trajectory as to where you've operated. Now out out of. Would you mind sharing what was one, if you will, thing in your barrier in your way and how you overcame it through the finding your habit and adjusting it? Yeah. Um, one thing I would say I had a lot of habits of thinking around money that needed to shift. I think whenever you work in a, in an entrepreneurial endeavor, or maybe if you work and you get paid commission, um, money is an interesting thing because it moves a lot more than if you kind of know your paycheck every, however often you get paid, right? And before how I would describe my relationship with money and a lot of my patterns of thinking around it is like an ocean where I was like in the waves. And when things were going well, I was kind of like surfing on top of the wave, you know, like, oh, this is so fun. And, you know, I'm so confident and I feel safe. I feel happy, I feel all of the things that I wanted to feel. And then when things weren't going well, I was underwater, sputtering, gasping for breath, and I was essentially giving away my power to money. Like allowing it to make me feel safe and secure, allowing it to make me feel successful. And so the shift, how I would describe it, if I could give you like a visual, is that I sort of swam to the shore. I, I bought one of those little beach chairs, you know, that are kind of low to the ground with the umbrella. And I've learned to just observe money to kind of look at it from the beach and say, you know what? Like money is supposed to move, the tide comes in, the tide goes out. Um, there are storms. I mean, we, we just had a global pandemic, right? Like there are real things that impact money in the movement of it, but also from the shore, you can see that there's no shortage. You can see, um, you can watch it without being submerged in it. And I had to sort of redefine that relationship and stop giving away so much of my power to money in terms of its ability to make me feel safe or secure in. And here's what happens. It's interesting when you do that, and I'm going to say this like I've conquered it, but I will tell you, this is a daily practice for me of keeping it where it should be and letting the money move, letting it flow, letting it come in, letting it go out. Because when you are clingy and needy and desperate, uh, and you're in a relationship, that thing will flee from you. And when you are peaceful and you're secure and you are grounded. That thing tends to move toward you. You know, that relationship tends to become stronger. And so I've just learned to like have a different relationship with it that is much more peaceful. And that has allowed larger quantities than ever before of money to move toward me. It's really amazing. So fun to not only picture what you were describing, but be able to apply it in my own life, right? I was even before an entrepreneurial mindset, I was commission only. And I mean, your work as hard as you want to make as much money. And that thought is deeply ingrained. Well, think about it through the survival lens too, right? Like so if the way you survived is by working harder than anyone, right? then saying to yourself, hey, the next level of income isn't about that runs against all that survival instinct. You know, it's like your subconscious brain is just screaming danger, danger, danger, danger. When you suggest, oh, you could actually earn more by working less, I mean, that's ridiculous. When you when it rams into that subconscious habit of thinking, right? Ah. So cool. Okay, so let's go. Let's go off of that. Why do so many of us try to solve these struggles by doing more or working harder or working more? Yeah. Well, first of all, it's very celebrated culturally and honestly, to some extent, there is a degree of work. You know, there is this message of my book is not for the person just starting out. It's it's really not. Um, and in fact, I've heard people misuse it and it kind of like pisses me off because it's not really for that. That's not who I'm talking to. I'm talking to, um, my clients tend to be people with advanced degrees. They've earned the title, they've gotten to the table where they're one of the few or only women at it. They, um, generally have the experience of being intimidating to most people that they interact with socially. Um, they don't fit into normal groups of women. They're not like they would there. And I always tease them, but, you know, their problems would be laughable to some people. Like, oh, I haven't tripped or I haven't had time to plan our trip to Italy yet. You know, they're stressed out. Like they're not just starting out women that I work with. And so this message is curated for that person, but it's that person also who. It's sort of like an airplane. The amount of fuel it takes to get it off the ground. If you keep burning that level of fuel, once it's off the ground, what will happen? You will crash and burn. And I frequently say to people, this just happened. This is the craziest story. So I've been going on this listening tour with my book because I got tired of talking about myself. And so I was so hungry to hear from my people. So I've been going to different cities in the United States and just asking a series of questions to these groups of twenty women. I love this. So I'm in this room and this woman says to me like, I can't stop working, I can't the demand, it's so busy. I have so many irons in the fire. There's so many expectations on me. And she's across the room, but like, everyone's not moving. It's like a really intense moment in this conversation I'm facilitating. And I said to her, what will happen if you keep working like you're working for the next ten years or fifteen years or twenty years? And she paused and she looked at me and she said, I will die. And everyone kind of laughed, like nervously in the room, and I laughed. I was like, I didn't for sure know what I was going to say, but I just sort of listened. And then I waited a bit. It was silent and I just looked at her and I said, I believe you. Like I, I know, I mean, I have a client, I tell this story in the book. She went to the ER, she was having like chest pains and whatever, and the doctor came in and said, when, when did you have your heart attack? And she said, I've never had a heart attack. And he's like, yeah, you've had a heart attack. We can tell from the tests. And she said, I didn't know either. And the doctor said to her, oh, women have silent heart attacks all the time. And so it's that person I'm talking to right where it's like, you, this isn't sustainable. You can't keep doing this. You're going to crash and burn. And so these subconscious habits to thinking that helped you survive, that helped you climb that ladder and get to where you are, they're now detrimental. They're now damaging you. And if you don't get off of that, it's going to be a problem. That's what my next question is. First of all, before you can get off of them, you have to identify them. And on your website, you have the ability to be able to do that and take a strengthsfinder assessment. But what does that process look like then? You know, okay, different for everyone, slower than you want it to be. It feels grindingly slow when you're in it. And yet, when you really look back on it, it's not as long as it felt like. You know? So there's that too. Um. It never happens in isolation. Never. And I don't use the word never very often. But we do not create sustainable change in our lives in isolation. We are not meant to be islands. We, um, as human beings are hard wired for relationship and community. And that is actually the vehicle through which we change the most. And so I'm not attached to the how though it is of course the work I do. I'm just telling you that if you're there, um, you won't solve it on your own. It's actually not solvable. It's more it's more compared to like a healing journey. Like, what do you do to heal? Well, there's a lot of different things, right? You go to a doctor or you like, there's just a lot of different ways that we heal. So those are the things I know about this work is that one, it's completely possible. And it's, it's also not going to last if the change isn't happening at a deeper level. I have no interest in changing your external habits that you see. It's this internal stuff isn't first being changed. Like I have no interest at all. So, so well said, so well said. So before, I mean, you take you take this assessment, right? What what does it look like? How do you talk through things? Of course, you're going to be able to, in our show notes, connect with Amy Kemp as well. But kind of like that process. And then we'll get into, you know, like living and working in rhythms and embracing guilt free play and all that stuff. Okay. So first of all, super important. This tool is so different than any other assessment that's out there. It is. So it's like apples and oranges to strings finders, Enneagram, um, disc, Myers-Briggs, all of those tools are exceptionally valuable. They are just completely different. What this tool is measuring is risk. So, you know, like when there's like a terror threat, how there's different levels of risk at the airport, let's say, where maybe like a red or an orange or a yellow or green. So that's what this is. The tool even gives you like a red, orange, yellow, green sort of gradient on which each habit of thinking is measured. Also, this is measuring subconscious habits to thinking. About eighty percent of our habits of thinking are below the surface. We're completely unaware of them and yet they're impacting us and creating resistance. So when you see something on this tool that is red, it does not mean you're bad at this. It means you have high risk when you're not paying attention. Your default habit of thinking is going to lead you down this path, especially if you're tired, sick, stressed, hormonal, or hungry. So like any of those five things, you're more at risk of falling into these patterns of thinking. So imagine it like the game Chutes and Ladders. You land on this square, you're high risk that you're going to slide right down that slide because you've created this deep groove in your brain. There are. So what happens when I look at this tool is that I can see what's happening in your brain. I can't see how it's playing out in your life. Right? Also, when you have green, when you have low risk in an area, it means go like you can. Trust your instincts. You can trust your intuition. You have very little resistance. Um, for some people who are very clear, like you're kind of like this, Denise. Sometimes it's almost like the curse of clarity where it's like, why is that so hard for people to just do something where you can just sort of be like, what's going on? Like, just do it. Just send the email or just create the marketing piece or use the tool. I mean, have the conversation and you, it's like almost impossible for you to even fathom why some wouldn't, someone wouldn't just do it. But in the areas where you have risk, typically there's like an outcome you aren't getting. Um, Or there's like something where it's like, I know I should be doing this, but I'm just not doing it. Um, I'm actually teaching one of the areas where you have high risk. I'm teaching, uh, it's actually a free session, but it's just on this one habit of thinking that is in the self-worth section. Um, it's a habit that causes you to put conditions on your feeling of value. Hang it. Yes, that is what I read. My habit finder. I was like, I struggle with my work ethic tied to my self-worth. And so what does that play out like for you? Like, what does that feel like? Um, I am more valuable when I do good work. And what does that cause you to do that you don't like work way more or put way more effort into something for a desirable outcome so that I feel and in this area, appearance and abilities, I'm wondering if it's that recovering people pleaser in me. Mhm. Yeah. It's tied. Mhm. I also know from your habit finder that you probably get more done in four hours than most people do in eight. So if you're working eight, you're probably hyper functioning because you get so much done. You're going so fast, right? Not because you're rushing because you just don't have resistance. Go, go, go. And it gets done well. But even it's like I hold it to a higher standard, right? Exceptional. I want exceptional. And then that is probably not healthy in some areas. What happens if it doesn't meet your internal standard? There you go, Amy. That would probably be where I get down on my self worth. What does that sound like? You're not good enough. Like you didn't do a good enough job, or you didn't serve that person as well as you could have. Right. And it's like I tied the external product to the internal belief. Yeah. So when your value is attached, when you're feeling of value is attached to your achievement or your performance or an outcome or what you look like, or how much money you make or what your title is, or I mean, on and on and on and on, right? It is a slave driver at your back all the time. Do more. Go. Do go faster. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. And when that is your driver, right? It can like create unhealthy boundaries with your work. Bleeding into your life, you know, it can really, um, it kind of takes over. Honestly, it, it kind of just consumes you, But it's understandable. And again, I'll go back. It's important to be really compassionate with yourself, because in a lot of ways that helped you survive or even thrive for a long time. You know, like that, that did create, I'm imagining lots of recognition, um, remuneration or pay. It created a lot of opportunity, a lot of, um, affirmation, a lot of acceptance. Right? Oh yeah. Yeah. So, but the symptoms that I see of this particular habit of thinking are, oh, I'll read a couple because they're, I, I've just been working on the writing for this, but I love it. Test it out. Yeah. Um, you can feel overly responsible for the experiences of your children or the people you lead. Like their outcomes are your responsibility. You give away your expertise for free or in exchange for praise or recognition. You feel guilty about using time or money to take care of yourself. Um. You often feel defeated when you see someone moving faster, like they get a promotion or a higher income and than you are and you ask, this is, this is the most deadly question to your self-worth, which is what's wrong with me that I'm not getting that outcome? Um, you make decisions based on what's best for other people over what's best for you. Uh, you are motivated by a desire to prove yourself. Um, you discount or charge less for your services than they are worth. You believe the only way to earn more money is to work harder and longer. Also, um, you're often motivated by a desire to prove your value to someone outside of yourself instead of being motivated by like inspiration and dreams and like receiving inspired ideas and acting on them. Though for most people, they've experienced both. Like they have felt that feeling when something comes to me and I just do it and it feels effortless and I allow it to move through me. They've also felt the like, I'm doing it because I'm proving something. Yes, both sides for sure. There are one hundred percent wins on that. Or I'm like, yes, that is me. And then there are other times where I'm like, not so much. Yeah, totally. That's how it that's how it should be. This is amazing. That is literally, I mean, based on what you said right then, I would guess that you have known me for an entire a very long time. And yet I took this test and I'm like, Holy crap, well done, well done. Isn't that amazing? And then, yeah, you take all of this, like you said at the very beginning, right? You're graceful with yourself. You don't try not to shame. Your hands might be sweaty, but yet there is help. Like that's where you come in. That's also you can say, like, good job surviving tears, though. Like good job. But you could like that part of you. You can sit down in the chair and rest. It's more of a thank you for your service here. And you will no longer be needed because you've done your job. That's more of the like spirit of the work than like a fixing, because it can easily just turn right back into that same driver of achieving in your healing or achieving in your change. You know, that passion, you can tell that you have such passion about this. Is it because you've seen the outcome so many times? Yeah, I think this work is so sacred to me. Like I mentioned, I serve a pretty narrow lane of people, but when I meet them, I know and even I was in a room full of people speaking at this event. There were probably two hundred people in this in this room. And there was a woman. Her eyes were boring holes into my soul. I could feel her, you know. And so when I'm in a room like that, I. And instantly she came up to me right afterward and she said to me, I've never come up to anyone ever at an event, ever. I'm not like the person who runs up to get my things signed. You know, she's like, I've never done that in my whole life. So my specific person knows when they need this work and they also know They know that I see them. It's the title of my book. Um. Oh. Can I tell you the story about that title too? Okay. Yes, please. This is such a great story. And it is. It captures the spirit of the work and it answers your question too. So this woman in our community, um, she is very public facing. She has a huge role. She sits at some tables where decisions are made that impact thousands of people. So I was at this event. A friend introduced me in passing and I, we had just a quick interaction, but I thought like, oh, I'd love to get to know her better. And so I invited her for coffee and she met me. You know, we met for coffee. So we're talking. I was just asking her questions like, how did you get to be doing this? What? Tell me where you're from. Like just normal, getting to know you kind of questions. So we're like fifty five minutes into this conversation when she very brusquely. interrupts me and says, why did you invite me to coffee? And I said, I just the first thing that came to my head I said, because I see you. And she just put her head in her hands and wept. And after a long time she like sat up and it was a long time. It felt like. But she wiped her face, sat up, kind of collected herself and she said, thank you. So few people do. And that is my person. Like everyone sees them, but no one really sees them, you know. And so that's the, that's the person, um, I'm put here to serve. Um, and you're doing it so well. I mean, you're, you're speaking to women who maybe don't even see themselves when they look in the mirror. That's that's amazing. Um, I can't wait to order the book for sure now. And yet one point that I oftentimes feel guilty about and shame is that I don't feel like I'm that much of a fun mom. And you talk about in your book, Living and Working in Rhythms and how to embrace guilt free play. How old are your children? Nine and seven. Okay, I'm that fun either. For the record, I'm really not. My husband is very fun. Yes. Do we really need two fun people? Like, is it really necessary? Because I want to feel fun. Anyhow, I'm not really fun anyhow in any way. I'm kind of nerdy and kind of like serious just by nature. But, um, I'm surrounded by fun people because I kind of think I know this about myself. Okay, I am committed, however, to guilt free play and meaning. Um, the way that you stop working too much is not by stopping working too much. It's by very intentionally scheduling more guilt free play into your life. When I say schedule, I mean it is in your calendar. If you saw my pickleball calendar and how fiercely I am committed to it, you would laugh out loud because it is serious. Like I do not mess around about it, right? In fact, this is so funny. I have this friend. He's become one of my dearest friends. He just turned sixty yesterday. I call him Farmer Jeff. He's the farmer. He lives in this tiny little town. He's like one of my favorite people. And we play together a lot. And I said, what is it weird? I have a sixty year old farmer as a friend. You know? But he's so awesome. anyhow, but I am so committed to a consistent input of experiences. Um, even things like reading fun books, uh, simple things, going for walks. This morning I had breakfast with a friend that are scheduled into my days. Uh, because like you, my brain goes so fast and I can get more done in four hours than most people can get done in eight. And if I let myself work too much, I do too. I create too much for what my family and life commitments can handle. And so the way like the guilt free play is like the governor on my golf cart, it keeps me from getting going too fast or overworking. But that means oftentimes it's like I, and I just have, I have a new business manager and I was talking to her about this because she was saying, I feel like you could use me for more hours and I could get this done and this done and this done. And I said, I absolutely could. That being said, I don't want you for more hours because then you're going to create more work than what I can keep up with within the boundaries of like my life and how I want to live it. I know we could create more. I could totally service more clients in the hours I have. I don't want to. So it's like this whole realignment of like, the first thing that gets scheduled is that recreational fun child. Like, what makes you forget about work? Where are you? And it could be like, I play mahjong. It could be like going to visit my husband's grandparents before they passed away. I would go visit them at the assisted living or in the nursing home when they were there. You know, that was like I couldn't work. I was fully present there. Maybe you like to play cards, maybe you like to cook, or you like to crochet, or you like to go to the movies. Or you like to. Whatever those things are, it doesn't have to be expensive either. Um, but just are you with regularity prioritizing those things first and then kind of going from there? If again, this is for a very specific audience, right? Like this is for the person who's overworking right now. Yeah. You don't stop by saying, I'm going to do less. You stop by saying, I'm going to take off Fridays every week starting at noon. You know, I have a standing pickleball game on Friday mornings. So like that day, I just know like it's my favorite pickleball game of the week. It's like, it's like recess when you were little. I mean, that's the level of excitement I feel around it. So cool. And it's almost like a boundary. And that is something that so many people talk about. Right. But but you talk about them in a little bit of a different way. Can you explain that? You absolutely must have boundaries with your goals. So meaning, in order to have a healthy relationship with your ambition, in order to have a healthy relationship with anything, you have to have boundaries. So when I'm setting a goal, my, my overarching goal is to work like a teacher. So I work from eight to three Monday through Friday. I work very lightly in the summer more, but like more than a teacher probably, but like not as nearly involved. Summers are very light for me. Um, and to get paid like a CEO. So here's the thing. It sounds great, right? Everyone's like, sign me up for that. But here's where it gets a little tricky. I had a call with a prospective client. She was totally. My person needs the work I do. Had a great conversation, great connection. She's like, I don't need to talk to my husband. Let's go, I say, great, let's schedule your first call. Get out your calendar. She said, well, I can only meet at six p m or later during the week. Okay, so then you're like, hmm, this isn't really what I planned, right? And I said, I'm going to have to think about it. I gave myself like a fighting chance against my easy. Yes, because I was so invested in what I could provide for her. And just. It's also a lot of income, right? I just it's a great opportunity for me. Plus, I think it would have led to other opportunities. So I slept on it and I just had to call her back the next day and say like, I can't do this. If you can't meet during the day. Because every time I come in here in the evening to do this call, I know I'm in violation of my own like boundary with this. And that's where like the, the practice of setting boundaries is a practice. It is, I am constantly being pelted with opportunities that I could take or do, and I'd be great at them, honestly. And I could serve that woman. I would have done great. But here's the thing. Like it's a goal with a boundary because I'm not to be trusted. And if I just have the goal of the CEO income, I'll get it. I will, but I will sacrifice whatever it takes to get it. And then I'll be resentful of the work. And I don't want to live like that. Everything that you said is so much of what we need to hear. That was so awesome. So awesome. And to think about boundaries can look different for everybody. You give people that permission. What a power. Like that's such a powerful idea. This is another thing too. In the book there's an exercise called the resentment audit. Okay. If you want to know where in your life you're missing boundaries, trace the feeling of resentment. So like resentment to me. Well, what would you say? Like, what does resentment feel like to you? I love that you said it because I was thinking of it when you did. Um, so for me, it's like, ah, that feeling like that ickiness that I'm like, why did I say I would do this when I dread it, right? Like I'm dread. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, and everybody does the same gesture to like, uh, like they kind of crunch their shoulders and they kind of like slouch a little bit because it's like, uh, it just feels to me. It also feels like I'm kind of angry or like frustrated or like, this is the visual image. It's like I've made dinner and then like, Ryan's laying on the couch and I'm cleaning up, kind of banging the pans around. I want to be known, right? But instead of just being like, I mean, I'm not married to like an idiot. If I said, Ryan, hey, can you come help do the dishes? He'd be like, sure. Right? So I don't, I'm saying I'm doing it to myself, right? And then I'm paying the price for it. That's resentment also. But that feeling, once you can access the feeling inside of yourself, if you just go through your week and write down where you feel it, you will know that those are places where you are overgiving or where there's a like, imagine my voice and a neon sign over your head that just says missing boundary. It's the fastest way to identify the relationships, the people, the work environments, the the volunteer activities where you are over giving. Yep. Like I'm not, I'm not taking my son. My son just called. I'm not taking your shorts to school. Because if I do, then my work's not going to get done. And then I'm going to be frustrated that I'm having to work longer hours, and then I'm going to be resentful of you and not doing that. So if you get whatever you get for not having your shirts for PE, well then like that's the, that's what you get. You know, it's that and you're teaching a lesson. Yeah. Yeah, probably. And it's just good parenting too. But there are consequences. But like I'm not gonna disrupt. Now, there are times where I might do that. Like if there was, I don't know, whatever. I'm not sure in what instance, but I'm just saying like, we do a lot of things and then we feel resentful about it versus just saying no or asking for help, right? That or saying what we need. Oh man. Okay, this is such a cool conversation and we could keep going. I know how I know that there are people like myself that are like, how do I learn more? How do I get more? Where can I get your book? So I See You is available anywhere you buy books, but it's also on audible. So if you are a listener, it's my voice too. People will always ask me that. So you can get the book anywhere, download it on Kindle or purchase the actual printed copy. Um, that would be a really great, I kind of think of the book like the foyer of my business. Like you can walk in and look around and see if you like it, you know, and just sort of get the feel for the work I do. The other really simple step you can take is just the one that you did is take the habit finder. It's a very cool tool. It's free. It's on my website, which is Amy dot com, so a m y k e m p dot com and you can take it and you'll get your results right away. Um, that being said, like, don't feel like you failed if you got a sixty nine in area sixty nine actually isn't even a really low score in this. So it's not a grading scale like school. There's not a ton of red. So I'm glad to see that. And keep in mind what it's measuring is not your ability or skills or personality. It's measuring risk. So okay, so what does that mean a sixty nine with risk in this particular area, you probably have some of those measurements in there that you have high risk. Oh yeah. So and again, that doesn't even mean you always act in that, right? It just means that if you're not aware, you have a deep groove in your brain and it's very likely going to go there. Okay. So cool. So Amy Kim dot com to check out the habit finder and you can't look at it honestly without, like you said, guidance and community. Because the minute I looked at it, I was like, what is this? I mean, I'm not sure if I can say this. I was so pissed the first time I took it because I was like, what? I don't even know what that means. What do you mean? I'm I'm not doing that. Like, I was so frustrated with it yesterday. But then once we went through it and I walked through it with the coach that I worked with, he, I was like, oh my gosh. And then I, I kept seeing it everywhere. Like once I was aware of it, I was like, oh, there it is again. There it is again. You know, it's fine. Yeah. But I was completely unaware and an overachiever. So yeah, I love it. Oh baby, what a fun time. Thank you for speaking with us and sharing your wisdom and your stories. And again, if you want to visit and learn more about Amy, our show notes are a great opportunity to do so. But this type of work is hard. And yet, you know, I'm gonna say you can do hard things. Thank you for listening to the Working Moms Redefined podcast. It is not lost on me that you chose to spend time together. Thank you. Let's connect outside of this space on socials. We'd love for you to follow us on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, Pinterest. We've got it all to connect with you. If you feel as if someone in your life could be impacted by this message, feel free to share it. That is the biggest compliment as we part ways together. Remember, you can do hard things. It is not a a like system. Ah, look at the fireworks. I wonder how I created those. Oh my gosh. If you aren't watching on YouTube, I somehow created fireworks behind me on my screen. Okay, I totally lost my train of thought. What was the question? Okay, how do you look at boundaries differently? Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. That's so funny. Okay. Boundaries.
