Untitled - March 28, 2026
00:00:00 Speaker: You all know that living in community with all of you is one of my absolute favorite things. Hi, it's Denise and you are listening to this week's episode of the Working Moms Redefined podcast. I'm so glad you're here. Dang it. A year we've been hanging out for a year and empowering each and every one of us to lean into the gift that God has given us, whether it's a leadership gift, a intentionality gift, whatever that looks like for you. We hope that you are realizing the power within you and you are empowered to shine bright. And yet, after last week's keynote I gave at a women's conference in Quincy, we are struggling with that. I would say that I bet a lot of you are hopefully struggling less than you used to be. Myself included. But there are still times when our brains and the expectations that we put on ourselves get the best of us. And that was prevalent at nutrition HQ Saturday. How fun is that saboteur? Her day event, I was able to speak with hundreds of women about redefining what hard looks like. You know by now that one of my favorite mantras is telling you that you can do hard things. And I've learned that hard is defined differently for all of us. So I don't know if you need to redefine what hard looks like or if you can see from a different perspective as to what hard might mean for me. But hard does not have to be guilt inducing. You are already putting enough pressure and expectation on yourself to achieve a lot, and you wouldn't be here if you weren't. Let's be honest, we are similar and I admire that about you. And yet, what if there's more? I think for a while now it's been on my heart to really dive into. I would like to not be in fight or flight mode as quite as much as I have been. Christmas break was really good for me to kind of like reset my central nervous system and realize I don't want to operate from a place of reaction and instead out of a place of intentionality. It's easy for me to do so in the workplace. That intentional mindset, that growth mindset, personal development, all of that, because that's literally what I get to do. And yet I still struggle sometimes with being able to apply what I know to be true at home. Can I tell you that not to make myself feel bad, but to say that even those of us who do this type of work still have areas to work on, and what is hard in this season of your life look like for you? Whether you are choosing to listen and take time away from your to do list that could be defined as hard, but you're carrying a lot. Whether it's your team at work, whether it's the grocery list or the kids schedule or. Your email inbox, those things can be hard. And when I often say you can do hard things, it's to motivate yourself to believe that you can conquer the world. And if we really hyper focus on what hard is, for me, at least it's realizing that we're not lacking effort or the desire to perform exceptionally well. We are carrying a lot and trying to do it all at an exceptionally high level. And there is a tension that comes from that. So today, as we talk about reframing and redefining what hard looks like, it's not about doing more. It's. It's about doing it maybe even differently. The word redefine means literally taking what has been and adjusting it. So we are going to take what maybe your definition of hard has been and adjust it. For me. An old belief of what hard was and I still struggle with this. So don't think that this is like one hundred percent in the past for me. Pushing harder. If I go, if I go faster, if I go harder, if I go more, I'll do better. Pushing harder is an old belief of what I really want. Hard to be defined as. Hard is holding it all together. Nobody is going to argue with it at that point of that. It's hard to hold it all together. But maybe we don't have to. Hard could be doing more. It could be like, oh, it's no big deal. Don't worry about it. When you ask me to do something and I don't say no. That's no big deal. I've got it. Because oftentimes bosses, leaders, managers lay on or delegate work to high achievers because they get it done. But it is a big deal. And acting like it is no big deal is hard. Let's redo frame. Redefine what hard means. So maybe hard is saying no. Do you see how the benefit of saying no? And maybe you need to take a pause for a second to think, oh my gosh, what I need to say no, you can still say no in a kind way. You don't have to be like, no, you can say no or no, thank you or not today, that's saying no. And it is hard. But there is a benefit because when you say no to something, you say yes to something else. Maybe you say no to a committee or no to a project, but you're saying no because you're saying yes to being there for your kid's soccer game, or being able to have a little bit more weight lifted off of you at work because you can't handle any more projects hard. Let's redefine it as asking for help. Yes, that is hard. And yet so many of us need help. Help from in-laws for watching the kids. Help from your team. In a portion of the project that previously you said that you were going to be able to work on, but you realize that capacity is not there. Redefining hard can look like presence over production. My high achiever, Enneagram three mindset is. I want to do the best job possible so that I can feel a sense of good enoughness. I think I just made that word up, but it fits. And being present. Being where my feet are is a mindset shift and it is darn hard. And honestly, sometimes hard is choosing joy in the moments, choosing joy in hard moments. Specifically when you are arguing with your kids or your partner. There is joy if you look for it, because on the other side of conflict or hard conversations is connection. And yet that is hard. Did you notice how the old belief of hard did not? You were singular. You were all by yourself. It did not include anyone else. And yet we live life best in community and so hard does involve others. But you're not alone. So ask yourself, what do you possibly need to say no to? If you are going to change and redefine what hard means to you in this season, pick one. And oftentimes people are like, oh, I don't want to say no to something that's too hard for me. I'm going to pick something else. I'm going to choose joy in the hard moments. I am going to be where my feet are. I'm going to pick one of those. Okay, go for it. But if you really want to challenge yourself, choose something to say no to. Whether that's a girls night, whether that is taking on more than you should at work or other people's values. They're not your values necessarily. We don't have to take them on to shapeshift. Stay rooted in your values. So when you say no to things like a girl's night, you say yes to deeper conversations. Because sometimes old girl nights in my world were superficial. Who are you surrounding yourself with? Is it easy to say no to some people then say no. Are you afraid of them being upset with you? One they might be. And two, is that worth more to you than you being upset with your own decision? When you redefine what hard looks like, you're actually giving yourself a gift. It might feel hard in the moment, but it will feel less hard in a week, I promise you. So when you think about the weight that you are carrying and the tension that you feel from trying to do everything at a very high and exceptional level, we don't need to do more. We need to do things differently. And that can start with redefining what hard means to you, because that in and of itself is a hard thing. And you can do hard things. Thank you for listening to the Working Moms Redefined Podcast. It is not lost on me that you chose to spend time together. Thank you. Let's connect outside of this space on socials. We'd love for you to follow us on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, Pinterest. We've got it all to connect with you. If you feel as if someone in your life could be impacted by this message, feel free to share it. That is the biggest compliment as we part ways together. Remember, you can do hard things.
