Untitled - September 22, 2025
00:00:00 Speaker: Hi, I'm Denise. Host of the Working Moms Redefined podcast. Let's join together as we lessen the hold of mom guilt in our lives, thrive in our careers, and raise great kids. You are doing enough. Let us boost your confidence today on this episode of Working Moms Redefined podcast. When was the last time that you allowed yourself to dream about your dream life? That dead air, that silence. That's your mind thinking. I don't know if I've ever done that. It's okay. Stop shaming and guilting yourself in realizing that. Hi, my name is Denise, and I hadn't done that until three years ago either. And then once you do, your life changes. Today we are going to talk to a marketing strategist who has taken her day job into her passion for her personal life as well. We are going to imagine a life where the unexplained becomes explained, where our unworthiness becomes worthiness and the unexpected becomes the expected. I don't know about you, but I just got chills. If you're looking on our YouTube channel, my hair is standing up and yet you now get to experience that statement in real life because we are joined with Kristen Rogers. Kristen is not living a life of a nest full of children, and yet she's not an empty nester either. She likes to describe herself simply as Unnested. How fun is that? She is a BA in Communications and Marketing and a master's in Healthcare Administration, and Kristen has led strategy after strategy with strategic visioning and planning throughout her entire career. If we could give you some of the personal examples as to what she has done, you would be mind blown. But I'll just let you hear from her yourself. Now, at her day job, she leads strategy where she is passionate about redesigning healthcare from the inside out. In that statement, that is where we are very different. Can you imagine? Can you imagine that weight? And yet, while her personal passion, as I alluded to earlier, is leading visioning for people to redesign themselves from the inside out. It's a big statement. And yet she makes it happen. Kristin and her husband, Patrick, have a cute little dog named Ranger and their cat named Otis. They picked up and moved across the country to Colorado in twenty twenty two, and that's when she created life Unnested life. Unnested was born when Kristen was searching for answers to, let's be honest, some of life's biggest curveballs that we ourselves have already experienced or, you know, are happening down the road. Now, I'm so excited for you today to hear from Kristen as to how she embraces when your life will really not go according to plan and be ready for when it doesn't. Now, the cool thing about this is yeah, her resume is super fun and exciting and different, but even cooler is that you now get to talk with one of my very best friends, Kristen Rodgers. Kristen. We met in November of twenty twenty, and I feel like you have been in my life the entire time. Thank you for being part of the Working Moms Redefined podcast. Uh, it's so crazy to see you do your thing. Um, from this lens, I'm just, um, excited to be here and so stinking proud of you. I am so excited. Yes. Thank you for all of those kind words. And let's dig in. This is going to be an episode where there are so many takeaways, there are so many action items, and there are so many nuggets of gold that you can simply sit with, dependent on which season of life you are in. And so Kristen as I always love to ask. Mhm. By the end of this episode, what are our listeners going to be able to take away from our time together with you? Oh gosh. I hope good things. I really hope that people leave empowered to feel like they can design a life based really on their own desires, and inspiring and supporting and guiding women to use their intuition and clarify their desires, and be able to take actions that are really aligned with their truest self inside. So hopefully they leave with an understanding of why vision matters, especially for working moms. Um, with really a desire to design a blueprint for their life that's free, empowered and super aligned. Sounds amazing right? And if for a second, as so many of us working parents might have thought in the moments that she says that don't you dare turn this off because you do have time for this. The cool thing about this is, is that this is a conversation that is going to continue between you, yourself, and I in your mind, beyond our time together. You don't have to quite yet designate time on the calendar to sit down and map out your entire life. Your first step is saying yes to figuring out what that dream life might even look like, and almost what I say. Giving yourself permission that it's okay to dream. I remember one time I was sitting in a financial meeting with my brother in law, who's an Edward Jones rep, and he was like, so what do you want to do? What do you want to dream? And I found myself being like, I'm so content. I'm good, I'm good. That was not the case. It was actually that I had not given myself permission to see what is possible. And there are so many manifestation guidelines and and dream kits and all of this stuff that we could talk about. But instead, Kristen, we're going to take to strategy because you and I both know if there's a strategy, it will happen. There is a plan for you. Yeah, or we get to that plan. Help me understand the vision behind Unnested. How you got to be here in an unnested way. Yeah. Um, so I think that there are really three key events that happened in my life that really showed me kind of after the fact, how important a vision was. I didn't necessarily realize out front that it was so important, but after things happened, I realized it. So, um, I will kind of start with a nested um, which is a little off plan here, but just, um, Being this person that my entire life wanted to be a mom. From being a little girl, there are nothing but photos of me with my baby dolls, and whenever there were babies around, I would run to those babies and pick them up like carry them around at birthday parties or family weddings like I was the one holding the children. So it never occurred to me that I would be a person who could not have children. So unnested and unexplained infertility are two things that really were drivers in my life. And so for me, trying to sort that out was. What my life was supposed to look like and what it would mean to be a mom and have a family and raise children, and then being super committed to that and going through various journeys of infertility treatment and looking into adoption and all of these things and then getting this diagnosis of unexplained infertility, which in some ways is so great, right? Because there's no reason. But then in some ways it's so awful because there's no reason like and it's so difficult. So you keep trying and you're really committed. And so your life as a woman who's going through infertility is a whole nother topic I could go on and on about, but it truly is a series of days in the month and you live and die by those days. You do certain things on day one, certain things on day you know, fifteen or your life is really, you know, based around that. So, so giving up, um, that path and, and looking into something else and believing that I was meant for more and that I still had inherent value as a woman, even if I wasn't a mom, um, really led me to unnested it. That led me to this place that's like, you know, acknowledging I don't fit. I don't fit in the, um, path of most of my friends like you who are raising these beautiful children who I adore and who are like my little nieces and nephews, and I don't really fit into the club of people who maybe don't choose to have children. That's just not the path for their life. But I sort of am in this space of don't really have a nest. I'm not an empty nester, so I'm just unnested. And that's really where that was born from. Two thoughts come to mind listening to you share that. When she says that she has always loved children, she has always loved children, to the point where when Kristen and I will Marco Polo Sydney will say if she. If Hudson will say, who's mommy talking to? Sydney will go, oh, that's Kristen. And then Hudson goes, oh, she's in Colorado. Like, there is a relationship that happens because of the love that you provide. So although you might be unnested, yes, you make them feel like they have a nest. I love that thought process because you're like a little baby birdie with all your birds, right? Like I am a god mama to lots of babies. I definitely my nieces and nephews. I tell them this all the time like they they are my babies. They are our babies. Um, because of course, you know, this isn't just my story. This is my husband's story as well. And just a path of our life that we didn't we didn't really see coming. But I had put a vision together for my life in other areas. Um, outside of just being a mom, even though that was one big part. And like, again, I think that just, you know, brings us back to how did a vision get me through in that really difficult season of particularly when we really had to make the decision to call it like we are at a stage in our life where we are not going to be parents and holy cats. That's a big that's a big undertaking as a couple, as individuals. And just in that season of your life and I think, um, I have so much peace with it now. I like how you added the now, because that's a piece that so many of us possibly struggle with, whether it's unexplained infertility or unanswered questions like we're going to talk about later. And yet another un in the mix that while you were that little girl holding babies, carrying them around, there's another dynamic of unmarried. Tell me more. Yes. So, um, my incredible husband is not my first husband. Um, I married someone who I was with, um, from a very young age, and, um, was about thirty years old when I really chose myself and made the decision to get a divorce. And that is actually not what define me at all. Um. And not why unmarried is on this list of things. Um, because I really have. So, um, peacefully closed that chapter of my life. We were just two people who did the very best that we could for each other, and we just weren't right for each other. But coming out of that, I spent a lot of time thinking about who is the right person for me and how do I need to change myself to be the right person for that person? Does that make sense? So I sort of wrote a list. I didn't sort of. I wrote a list. It had about seventeen things on it, um, that I really had thoughtfully and prayerfully looked at for a while of, you know, what does this person look like? What are the things they love to do? Uh, how do they love me? You know, it was things like, they're not afraid to dance with me in our living room when a good song comes on and we're home on a Saturday night, it was things like, they will love my family hard and they will realize how fortunate they are to be a part of my family. Um, and I really wasn't actively seeking a partner for a long time, but I had felt pretty alone for a long time, and that list just made it so easy. Like, I didn't realize it at the time, but I was building the vision for what my future partner would be, and it helped me understand who to say no to. So when people were trying to set me up with people or things were happening, it was just an easy no because I was like, they don't fit the list. Like, you know, granted, I knew nobody was going to fit it perfectly, but at the end of the day, I had this list. And so not only did it change the perspective on my partner, but it also changed my perspective on myself, and it changed the way that I walked into my relationship and then my marriage with my husband, Patrick, because I'm a lot more, Um, understanding. I think that sometimes the things that I want, I don't communicate effectively or, you know, not putting fail points in of things like, if he doesn't do this today, it's more like, well, I'm going to ensure that he knows that this is something that's important to me today. You know, so things like that, that just really changed my perspective on not only my partner, but on who I was going to be as a partner. Mhm. I like how you shift that in that it's not a checklist and that no one is ever going to ultimately check every item because it's not theirs to do. And yet you had a guideline. As for what were your non-negotiables, what were some things that you were not going to allow or not allow in the relationship? It's a guide. It's a guideline which so many of us need as we continue sharing where Unnested came from, to be able to say, now let's go do it for you. There's another hard point to talk about and that is unanswered questions. Yes, specifically with your bigger brother. And we're talking about Im statements and how your vision. I am an exceptional wife came from the divorce of unmarried. How I am meant for more came from unexplained infertility and we'll get down those I am statements in the creation behind that in just a little bit, but this one I honor my brother in my daily life. This came from unanswered questions because your big brother's not there anymore. Yeah. It, um, was really the unexpected passing of my brother. Um, and the corresponding unanswered questions. I think that when you watch someone else go through grief, you know that they've lost someone, and that that must be awful. And I had lost grandparents and things like that, but nothing at all in this world could hold a candle to losing my brother. He was the oldest of the four of us. We are four very close siblings. Um, people came up to us at his funeral and were like, I can't believe this is happening to the Davises. Like, you guys loved each other so much. You were we. They were people who hung out with us growing up. People wanted to be at our house. We just really had very special bonds as siblings. And so to lose him unexpectedly and have so many questions, um, for myself, could I have done more for all of the things that come from that? Um, it would have been very easy to dwell on the unanswered questions. It would be very easy to ask myself in this unexpected loss. Like, I should have expected this. I should have, I should have, I should have. It's so easy with sudden illness to, um, to have those questions, particularly with someone you love. So, um, it this did not happen overnight. This version of where I am today with my grief did not happen overnight. This is of all the grief I've had between these three topics. It is certainly the one that I still wrestle with the most to this day. But I did make an active decision in my visioning process to update my vision statements to. I honor my brother in my daily life, um, so that I could focus on living for him and not focus on living with the massive hole that was in my life because he was gone. And that got easier as time went on. But because I had that kind of continuous message playing in the back of my head that like, I honor my brother in my daily life if I go to a concert, music is something he loves so much. I take in every single second of that concert, and I try to see it through his eyes of like, what would he be sitting next to me saying? He'd be like, oh, Chris, look at the bass player. Like, you know, he would be. He would be so present in that because music is huge in our family anyway. But it was such a huge part of his life. So yeah, I honor my brother and my daily life because the unanswered questions that I have would have eaten me alive otherwise. It's a choice to look at things in a positive light, and you're choosing to do so by continually reminding yourself in these statements, and then you're living it out. So honoring him is really he gets to live through you in those moments. And it's it's so darn beautiful. And now you know the why. It's I don't know about you listener, but like whenever I know the why, it helps me better understand the how that those are the uns. And we're going to call this out from the very beginning, and I know that Kristen won't mind this in the least. We've heard how she's unnested. She does not have children. She's an she's an aunt. She's a loving so many titles and yet she's not a mom. Right. So what am I doing here on this Working Moms podcast? Why are you here? And yet Kristen said such a great question not too long ago. She goes, can you imagine if more people were able to surround themselves with more people that are different and offer different perspectives? And I said, I would love that idea. Let's join the podcast. So she's here because what might a woman who has no children, why might that person be the exact woman? So many of us, myself included, need to help us moms find the vision? Yeah, it is a question I asked myself like what? What could I be put in this position for? What could I be given this opportunity for? Um. Because, like you, I don't take that for granted. Um, but it is because I'm allowed that space. I'm allowed to to vision and be and exist in a different space because I don't have children. And I recognize how difficult it is for people like you who I love so much, who I often challenge in a lot of these spaces, um, to really understand the difference between what do I want? Because it's the right thing for my children and my family, and what do I want? Because it's a true desire, deeply rooted within myself. It's difficult. Right? It's difficult to to get people even able to strip away the layers and layers of responsibility that you have to other people. When you are a parent, particularly a working parent who is constantly trying to balance that scale of being a mom and being great at their job, or the responsibility of being the breadwinner. As as a lot of moms are now, which is not really the societal norm that we were raised on. And so there's just so much pressure in all of that. Um, and so, yeah, I think, I think I'm blessed with a lot of moms in my life. And I have been really incredibly blessed to lead moms, um, which has given me a lot of insight into the level of pressure that they feel and the difficulty to really find themselves and really look at, yeah, what matters to me. And do I still get to have my own dreams that are just my own if if I'm a mom? Um, yes. The answer is yes. It's the perfect mix because so many of us surround ourselves with people who we are familiar with and who walk the same walks and talks of life. And although we might want to go find others, it's hard. So we're bringing the hard to you. We are bringing Kristen Rogers to you to talk about strategic visioning for your personal life. And that does not sound super fun. And I'll be honest, the first time that I and I will say, had to do this, it was not fun. Kristen led me through this activity in twenty three twenty twenty three. I was standing in my kitchen. Kristen, can you remind me how this went? Right? Like, how did we start this visioning activity? You don't listeners, you don't have to do it now. But she'll quickly explain what she does and why. Yes, yes. So, um, the ability to detach, um, from yourself, sort of divorce yourself for a moment from real life and get into a place where you can envision, um, previously when you did this exercise, you actually weren't in your kitchen. Your vision Eurovision took you to your kitchen. So we were together and I was asking you to vision. And the former way I used to do this exercise was I used to put people in their favorite place, the place they felt most at peace, most happy. And you went to your kitchen and then I said, take all the people away that matter to you that you love, that count on you. And you're like, I can't be in my kitchen anymore. You're like, what are you doing to me? This doesn't make sense. And you? Yeah. You had I think that intrinsic you know, the thing that I find is across all the women that I work with, particularly those that are moms, the most difficult thing to do, which is to take that moment and actually only be in solitude with yourself, with your own thoughts and your own desires. So you went to your kitchen, but then you moved somewhere else, I think. I think I can't remember where, but your vision moved you there. And I think when you are living in constant motion, you're sometimes in survival mode, right? Like you're dealing with big things. Hard things. Um, it can feel stuck. It can feel really, really stuck. Um, and you may not even be able to define that. That's the word for it. Um, there's probably a restlessness in you that you're trying to sort out. It's just sort of this unsteady little restlessness of like where you then start to internalize and ask yourself, well, maybe it's because I'm not doing enough for this child, or it's because I had this, gosh darn it, this thing happened with, you know, our school getting ready for school this morning, or I'm gonna miss a practice because I have this work thing. There's a lot of those. But the real internal restlessness lies in the fact that you're not in alignment with what you really have deeply rooted desire for in your spirit. Does that make sense? So high level like. And yet it's not right. You think a strategic visioning. That's so. I can't do that. I don't know how to do that. Yes you can. It's getting through the stuckness. It's really a compass. And I think what I think what people mistake a a vision isn't a strategic plan. Those are two very different things. A vision is your true north. It's telling you what you get to say yes to, so that you don't constantly have to focus on what I have to say no to, because I have this on my plate. It's moving it from. I have to say no because we have these twelve things to I got to say yes to these twelve things, because I know that those things are in alignment with the vision I have for myself. It isn't on a plan somewhere or in a checklist. It's not a pass fail. It's just a clear path for you to say, yeah, that's in alignment admit with what I really want for myself. Thank you for explaining the difference. When I think about alignment on a vision, I love to think about identifying my values. And we talk about that in one of the episodes with Julie Bull as to how to find those values. I personally did it with, like those John Maxwell leadership cards, and I took out some things and we yeah, we did it together. Yeah. And then sometimes I go off of how it makes me feel once I've identified what my values are. Right. Family is priority one. And then exceptional experiences. And previously for me it used to be providing exceptional experiences. It's kind of shifted because yes, I will always strive for providing exceptional experiences. And yet, hey, it's okay for me to have exceptional experiences too. Yeah. Right. And so I look at my calendar and I say, well, how's that gonna make me feel like I have a non-negotiable. I can be gone from bedtime. I can miss bedtime once a week. Is it because Jeremy says I have to be home? Is it because the kids want to make sure that I'm home to put them to bed? I mean, they could be any of those things. They don't get a say in that I do. I know that I feel most in alignment towards my vision, whatever that statement might be, that I am home more often than I am not. And so, yes, it's important to give back to the community by maybe going to a night meeting. Yes, it's important to spend time with your girlfriends or your family or your best friends, and you know those types of things. But for me, it's once a week I get to choose one of those once a week. And we talk about that with the kids, the exercise when we actually go towards finding your vision. Yeah. Take me through some of the tactics to get a vision in brewing in someone's mind? Yes. Um, it sounds hokey a little bit at first, right? Um, but I've done this with companies, I've done this with individuals. And I'm telling you, it is the the truest and most pure way to get people to really think about, um, you know, understanding where you want to be ten years from now and having a willingness to dream really big and not be afraid to name and claim something ten years from now that you maybe don't, you feel unworthy of. We're taking the UN out. I want you to feel worthy of that. And I want you to be able to get to that place by removing everything else from your mind. And so what I do is walk through this exercise of taking people to the beach and we go to the beach because most people see the beach as a symbolism of solitude. But it is also a really peaceful place, and it is just happens to work out really well for this exercise where, you know, we bring everybody to the beach with us in this exercise. We bring everything to the beach with us. In this exercise, we bring our children and our families and our spouses and our neighbors and friends and our church communities and everything that we have a responsibility to a passion for that fills our life and our days. And so for everybody that looks a little different. So the exercise really just inspires people to think through what's coming to the beach with you. And as it turns out, in this exercise, it's really easy to get all those people and things there. So you get down to the beach and then I invite them to take their foot, put all those people and things in a circle and draw a circle in the sand around those people. And then we take a walk down the beach, and pretty soon we get to a place where we've taken away all the noise, and there's no people on the beach and there's no buildings. We're just out on that peninsula all the way to the end on the water. And that is where the prompting questions come in. And then we just really start to pull back until we can add those people back in. But it really is an exercise to allow women to get to a place where they can be reminded that they have desires that are all their own, that really mattered to them. And and that's where we open up the beautiful can of worms. That is okay. Now we know we can claim these things and we can talk through them. And then we get to redefining what success looks like. because apart from that circle, your success is all your own, and you're allowed to redefine that, and you're allowed to do that in a way that you don't have to feel guilty about. Because as soon as you're in tune to your own self and you're aligned with those things, and your dreams are being filled up to your most innermost self, the person you're going to show up as to everybody else. When you walk to that circle and you remove the line and you embrace all the people and things that are in your life is going to be all the better for it. And so, so many, I'm assuming are like, that sounds absolutely wonderful. One I'm scared. Two I've never done anything like this. Three. That sounds so hard. It sounds hard and it is. I mean, women and men cry when you take them through this activity, myself included. Yeah. They do. Very emotional. Yeah. Why do you think that is? I think it is multifactorial. I think for some people, their true desires have felt so impossible. So I'll use having babies for me for so long. That was all I wanted. And it was the thing that kept evading my life over and over and over again. And so to dream big, to think big, to think about things that you really have a desire. I just went through this exercise with a woman a couple weeks ago. She told me she would not mind me saying this, but they have two children and she really wants a third and her husband doesn't. And she is like, I, this is what I want. I know this is what I want, and I, I don't even want to bring this up as part of my vision, because how can I put it on there? It's not what he wants. And when it really got down to it with her, it was so emotional and so scary to talk about because we had to get to the root of what is it that you're searching for in that third baby? What is it that you're looking for? Is it the experience? Because God knows there's nothing more magical in the world than carrying your baby, having your baby, bringing this other life into the world? Whatever. Well, for her, this is my conversation with her. But at the end of the day, getting to the root of what she was really searching for, there wasn't a third baby. It wasn't. And I, we I could tear up right now talking about it, because it was the most beautiful conversation with her and the fact that I just led her to water, you know, she had to take the drink. She had to really sort it out. She was like, you just asked me some questions that made me realize I was looking for something there that really had nothing to do with that third baby, and it was freeing. But that is hard stuff to walk towards and you really have to have the right guide. So I would say that would be the call out. I would not recommend just having this conversation with anybody because, you know, having somebody who's done it enough and understands enough to where you're walking into some territory. I've done it with people at work in old teams that I used to lead. That also brought tears, and some of it was just taking a moment to pause, to actually think about yourself. Somebody hadn't done it in a really long time. They'd just been so busy taking care of other sick parents, patients, and the work that they did as nurses like it can be tough. Um, but it is so worth it. That was beautiful. And I think I would. If anybody else is listening like I am and so intently and thinking, I want to know what she found instead of the third baby, but we're not gonna do that. That is a breach of privacy. And so take that out of your mind. And right now you can be thinking, dang it, just remove it and keep listening. Because at the same time, the reason that you're asking that for yourself is because what's your third baby? One hundred percent. That is exactly it. And like, yeah, it's it's it's hard to imagine in a little snippet of what this exercise looks like, what this really is. Right. This is an intensive you know, four hours is what I usually typically will spend with someone who wants to do it all at once. Some people don't, and we just do it in baby steps. But I think that taking from this understanding that what you're going to get is a really clear understanding of what matters to you in a different way than you think about it ordinarily, going through your day to day. So the people I encourage it for are people who are in that restless moment, um, or who are find themselves worrying about the future. So all of us, we need to live in the present. You know, it's it's like, you know, um, and then I think what it breeds is the ability to be in the present and be really at peace with it because you're not worried about the future as much. Kristen, you did a great job of painting the picture, laying out the questions that you'll ask, how you'll take people through the process, how we can do that together. And yet, that's all fine and dandy. And I love all these thoughts that we come to. But how do we make it tangible? How do we make it something that I can think of in a moment when, for instance, like the example that you gave at a concert, that you honor your brother and your daily life, you remember him? I wonder what he'd be thinking about this right now. Will you? You bring that to it. So really, there's a vision Statement that then needs to be or gets to be constructed. Once you lay out that vision, it's putting words to it, right? That sounds hard. It's not. It's actually so much easier than you think. Um, I think that. What why is it important to put words to it? I think that the other thing that people often confuse between, like a vision and a plan, is the vision is more about that true north, but it's defining those words for yourself that are playing in the background. Right. Like they're not out in front of you every day. So I'll give you the example of I exhibit Christ like behavior. Um, prior to that, for years, my vision was I put God first, I put God first. And I found that that was not the right vision for me. I've maybe ever, but definitely not anymore as I've been deconstructing religion from my life for one purpose, but for the other is, um, that was a pass fail. Like that was something that I was holding a barometer up to myself and saying, did I pass that today or didn't I? I didn't really put God first today because of X and Y, and I've been really growing, I think, as a human being. And so in twenty twenty three post going through a difficult career transition, I found myself focusing a lot on decisions I had made during that time. When I was in my previous career, or conversations I had had, or things that I didn't love about myself I didn't like, about the way I approached situations or people. And my grandma always told me, and it's been the thing that's defined my life, is I leave people and places better than I found them, and I couldn't walk out of that situation feeling like I had left people better than I found them, just in my own actions. And so I was really wrestling with that. And so that's when I changed my vision statement from I put God first to I exhibit Christ like behavior because it is that sort of angel on my shoulder, and I'm in a situation and I'm like, how could someone see Christ in me in this moment? What would that look like? And that turns out to be being more kind, being more understanding, leading with grace, and being really intentional about seeking first to understand, you know, when people are, you know, behaving in certain ways or when certain situations are happening and work, it showed up for me like I fixed processes, not people. So in my current job, it shows up like where before I might have been like, you know, we're continuously running into this ball being dropped in this area or this thing happens and we've gotta it's like, well, there's something that is broken here and it isn't a person like, how do we ensure that it's the right process, that it's the right role for the person, that we're setting them up for success? So it causes me to look at that differently. So when it comes to defining a vision and putting words to it, it doesn't have to be a something that is like this very laborious process. And B you don't have to keep it forever. It may it may change and evolve over time. So, um, I think the second thing is, is when you have something like that and, um, just this quick, easy way to sort of reference what matters to you and your vision. Um, you know, what to say yes to. And you get very comfortable with no being a complete sentence because you feel so good about why you're saying no, it doesn't align, it doesn't align, and it's okay for me to say no to that and that put more on that? No, because x y, z. Yeah. And we do that oftentimes to feel better for ourselves. Like, oh, if I don't go to this event, I'm really going to be letting somebody else down. So I'm going to overexplain. But when you're not going to that event because you've prioritized these other things, because you know what path you're on. You don't feel guilty. You're like, I'm just I'm aligned in a different direction. That's where my time is, is a commodity, and I have to spend it wisely. It goes to that living intention thought process you have. Yes. Yes, very much so. Yeah, very much so. And I think that we all want to live intentionally. I don't think there's anybody out there that's like, you know, what I don't want to do today is just go through the motions and have a meaningless life like nobody does. But life is freaking busy. It is busy and it's really redundant. So it's easy to get into the habit of just setting the alarm, getting up, do the things I have to do. Get out of the house, go to work, come home, do the dinner, go to bed. And you do that over and over and over again. And so having a vision helps you live with more intention. It puts a little pressure on you, honestly, to to think about it differently and to approach it differently. And again, it's just these basic statements. That's what a vision is, is to say. So I honor my brother in my daily life. Um, it's a really, really good way to live intentionally to have something like that. Um, and, you know, even just I'm an exceptional wife. That one was hard for me at first. Um, it really was. I wasn't I wasn't nailing it, um, really, I, I still had a lot of unhealed stuff in there, and I was projecting stuff onto my husband, Patrick. And so it it he knows that I say to myself every day, I'm an exceptional wife, too. And I think that's big. And sharing it with him, he knows that honoring my brother in my daily life is super important to me. He also knows that's what keeps me from crying about it all the time. Like I didn't live big for him, you know? So again, it's just these statements in this way of taking the things that matter to you, defining it and putting words to it, and then allowing it to push you to living more intentionally towards those things. Sign me up. Right. That sounds amazing. Let's get to it. And then when we sit down to actually do the activity, whether you're going to attempt to do this by yourself or if you want to work with Kristen, we'll give you details as to how you can do that later. You then have two columns in my mind. How do I figure out the column, if you will, that I'm still not giving myself permission to consider only me. And I'm putting shoulds in this column, and then this other column about, like my true heart desires rooted in my authentic self. How do you find the difference? I think that there's always going to be polarity to life, and there's a really great polarity exercise. If, you know, we can put that out there somehow to give it to people, but that there's there's always going to be these two things that are equally important and they're competing with each other. And I think that is why it if a lack of vision and a lack of having that in place. It it's not a bad thing. It doesn't mean that anybody that walks away from this conversation is like, I've never even thought to do that. And well, now there's just another thing on my to do list that I should be doing. It's not that right, but it is just that, like the whole point of this and coming and talking about like the three bigs in my life is that in the absence of a vision, I would have been fine. but those things were made better because I had a guiding light along the way. While I was going through my divorce, I was also trying to dream about my career. Like, what do I want to be? And I had this. I wanted to be a chief strategy officer. I wanted to lead that work in healthcare. I wanted to make a difference and build affordable health care and accessible healthcare and change the way that healthcare was like. That was what I wanted to do. So when I was going through my divorce and I was financially in the throes of trying to start over, I also had a vision for my career and it wasn't pressure on me. It was peace. It was the ability to say, there's this list of shoulds and things that I need to do, and I'm going to do those, but I'm going to do all things with this compass, knowing that I'm trying to get to a different place. I'm trying to move to a different place. The grief, I could live in that and rest in that and sit in that for the rest of my life. My big brother was such a huge and pivotal person in my life, but instead I get to celebrate him and I can be reminded that he would never want me to suffer. He would never want my life to be limited because of his passing. And so does that help? It takes you from you're always going to have the shoulds and you're going to have the desires, and there's going to be polarity. There's going to be times where those two things are incongruent, and it's about having it playing in the background, not having it apply more pressure. Mhm. We will link the polarity exercise that you are referencing in the show notes. So then that way you could go do that activity should you like when we talk about society and religion and norms and we tie that to where could a woman without children fit. What does that stem from for you, or why is that important to you to talk about? I think that there is, um, it's very easy to feel as a woman without children. I'll give you an example. Every meeting you go to is tell us about yourself. And it is inevitably people saying, I'm so and so. I've been here for this long and I have three kids, and that's where I spend my time. And then it gets to you and you're like, I'm so and so and so. At the end of the day, there is this sort of underlayment of like societal expectations, your religious expectations, the norms of being a mom. Um, and so for me, where that question came up of where could a woman without kids fit? It's like, who told you that? Who told you that? the only way you can fit in is if you're a mom. If there isn't a place where you fit, build it. That's where Unnested came from. Until I realized really quickly, I had absolutely zero desire to ever be on social media with my face. And then I was like, never mind. I'm not building a community because I hate that and I can't do it, but I'm here because of it, because it evolved. Right. But it's it's really asking yourself the question why? When it comes to your own thoughts, it is questioning who told you that. That's the way that it had to be. It's often us. Yeah. I don't like when you ask me that question, because when I because I know you so well, when you ask me that question, I was like, oh, I know why she's asking me this. And yet I need to be asked that. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if I've ever told you this. And one time when we were talking in our mastermind, that's how Kristen and I met. We were part of a mastermind. Us and four other women were part of this group. It was beautiful. That's where my desire to come to get Maxwell leadership certified came from was because of the relationships that were formed. And I was like, more people have to have this. Let's go. I sounded like Hudson. That's what he's been saying lately. Let's go. Okay. Oh, I love it so much. We're going. Right. Let's do it I digress. I love it. One of the times that you provided that specific example that you just gave when you go around the table and who are you? We label ourselves. Yeah. Good or bad? Indifferent. However, that stuck with me so much. Because I'm a wife. I'm a mom. I'm a daughter, I'm a friend. I'm so many things. And yet those are titles. Those are quote unquote jobs or things that I hold. Who am I? And so in my bios now, when I send them, whether they're reading them on a stage, whether they're for a newspaper article or a podcast interview. My first sentence as to who is Denise? Denise Talcott radiates joy because that's me with nothing. I love that so much. It's because you stuck me on a freaking peninsula in the middle of nowhere, with a circle around all the people that made me and gave me those titles. I had no choice. You did this. That's my fault. I'll take. Fine. I take it. But what is that statement for you, listener? Right. Like, once you strip away all of those titles, I am what I am, who I am, joy, I radiate joy, and some days I ain't right. I just literally said, ain't. I am not radiating joy. Pass or fail. I love that example that you gave. Like it doesn't have to be your pass or fail. Oh there's our there are degrees of joy being radiated. And so give yourself some grace in that. But removing the norms of who are you when you get asked around the table to introduce yourself? I love that, particularly if those norms don't fit right. Like, give yourself permission to consider that if you're unlike me, you want to be on social media and you want to be telling your story, go do it. Go do it. Like in our mastermind, we just kept coming back. Kristen, you should write a book. You should write a book. Um, and I was just like, no. And then finally somebody said, why? And I was like, well, and I kind of started going into this thing. And she said, um, you don't want to give people access to you. And I was like, crap. And I it led to, I don't want to give people that hurt me access to me And why is that? And like really getting down to the root of how is that holding me back? Um, that's why I'm here today. Because I've overcome that in a way that is like, look, people make mistakes. People treat you poorly. You treat people poorly. Things happen. Your ability to get beyond that is the is the key to the rest of your life. Like you cannot let those things. There are bigger things that have happened to me than some of these three things, but they are not on this list. And I told you this before because they they don't define me. They have been, but they don't define me. And I have so much peace with them. And I think, like running head on to big emotions in pain. On the other side of that is your truest self. Like if you can just walk right in and accept accountability and see things for what they are like, it is life's biggest gift to be able to do that and like that, that fits, because that's where a lot of your shoulds come from. Mhm. If you screwed it up in the past, you're going to be hell bent on not screwing it up in the future. And so you're going to put sort of weird, you know, parameters in your life because of it. Around that same mastermind table, I think our group facilitator even said, Denise, you should start a podcast. My instant answer was, no, absolutely not. It was because that example that you just gave, I was a selfish person then, and I was afraid that if I went back into some sort of radio industry field that is, you know, podcasts stemmed from that, then my heart would go back to the twenty three year old that said, look at me. I can't wait to be seen and heard where it's like, you know what? I am not that person anymore. My heart is all about how can I make life more fulfilling. The whole concept of Working Moms redefined was built on that, and that was the fear underlying all of it. But because we don't evaluate and we don't give ourselves necessarily space or time to look at what is rooted in our authentic self, we don't allow ourselves to find those little tidbits if you will give yourself permission to promote yourself. No, no, I don't mean promote yourself. I know, I know exactly where your head just went. I should have known before I said it, where your head was going to go. That is not what I meant. I meant if you are in a station in life where you're in this role and you're looking for the next one, like sometimes our humbleness and stuff gets in the way and we don't give ourselves permission to promote ourselves to that next level, to think of ourselves in that next place. That's what I mean. I knew you were going to go there. I should have thought about that. But that that ten years down the road, looking at where you want your life to be, is giving yourself permission to promote yourself from the where you are at today to where the next position in life you're going to be. And I think sometimes those shoulds hold us back from getting there. Can we change the word promote to elevate? I think that'll help my brain. Go for it. Okay. See? Words matter. Yeah. Words have power. Speaking of words, what happens when restlessness and a lack of vision connect or compete or live in the same space? Yeah. So a lack of vision may not cause restlessness, but it can cause you to be stuck in it. So I think that there is this feeling where restlessness can be. I don't know if everybody would call it restlessness. Right? Some people might say stuck. They might say empty. They might say other words around it. But restlessness is a symptom of unused potential. Say that again. Restlessness is a symptom of unused potential. That's really good. I see your brain working. That's what it was for me too. Very much an aha moment. Very much an aha moment for me. Very much. And I think that it is. There's an internal tension that happens when you have a desire for more, but you don't know what more is. So you're trying to sort it out in. It might just be like, am I in the right job? Am I doing the right things in my work? Am I doing? You know, am I doing the right things for my children? Should they be in all these activities and travel leagues? All the other kids are in these things. My kids aren't like there is the comparison there, but there is. There's a sign that your values or interests or talents are underutilized. And restlessness. And I'm sure this is going to shock everybody listening. But I think the solution to that is vision. I think the solution to restlessness is vision. And I think that based on my own experiences, but also experiences that I have seen with other people once they've put a vision together. I've seen it in you. Right. Like, you know, talking about things that you want to do or dreams that you have. You know, in the beginning it was uncomfortable to talk about, you know, setting up your business in a way that promotes you. If I can say this, you're probably going to cut that part out. But like, I'm like Denise, like, you know, people really are you're magnetic to me. And the way that you lead people through change and through, how do you how do you show up as your best self? How do you communicate effectively like all of these things, but like, not really naming and claiming what that was going to be. Right. It doesn't stop you from moving, but it doesn't always move you forward in a way that you feel fits and is aligned. And so I think that's where restlessness comes from whenever I am perfect example, all my career prior to this position, I led people I have always I. I absolutely has been the biggest gift of my life to lead the people that I have. Um, I think for a lot of, in a lot of ways that fulfilled that aspect of my life, of not being able to have children because I had these people that I could, you know, love on and foster and grow. And I just also got super lucky with the people I led, for the most part, that were just really great people. But, um, I don't lead people in this position that I'm in today. And there are times where I like, look across the way to people who are leading their teams and doing these different things. And so I've had to realign where work fits in my life and where that is to what I really want for myself. And I want to do great work. I want to make a meaningful impact to healthcare. Those still remain true. And so just kind of having that true north keeps me tethered to that restlessness that I might feel there and channels it into something else. Like, you still have influence on people. You can still have conversations with people you work with Kristen, where they're stuck on something, or they're and they call me like I'm their phone, a friend for resilience. And for all of those things, I get to do it. It just looks different. And instead of being stuck there, I can see it for what it is. Does that make sense? I love it. We're going to get vulnerable here because not only are you going to share your vision. Yeah. Kristen, before today's episode in the craziness that was this morning, I was like, you know what? I think I have my vision sheet from the first time that you and I did it. I found it. It is. I laminated it because I remember that one time when I pulled it out and you were like, I can't believe that you allow it to look like that. And I was like, I know I just carry it everywhere. And the edges were fringed and it whatever, it was rolled up. So this one is from twenty twenty four. If you're watching on our YouTube channel you can see. So we'll go over that. And then I brought this year's too. Oh that makes me so happy. Yeah. So we'll we'll talk about that. But you've already shared with us and I'm so glad that you have your top three. Right. I exhibit Christlike behavior. I am an exceptional wife. I honor my brother in my daily life. And that all comes from a a theme. Go ahead and share. Yeah. So we've talked a lot about the the I am statements. I will fully acknowledge the fact that I got that from Rachel Hollis back in the day, on the last ninety days, the way that she had you design a vision, you put in statements to it. I have fully retired from hustle culture, so I no longer subscribe to that version of it. But I have an adaptation that really works for me. So what I was able to get to are like the big things that really embody the the values and the dreams that I have for my life. And they are rooted in faith in family and financials and mental and physical well-being, and in living really big. Those those are the things that if I really am asking myself, we're getting ready to plan a vacation. Like, does it fit? Does that fit like where we're spending our time, where we're spending our money, what we're doing? Does it fit? Like, I know it sounds silly, but that is how I think of it now very differently. So you've got the first three. So out of those buckets as I call them, is like, oh, the buckets. Whenever I bring them up, um, out of those buckets, the other ones that I haven't shared is I am a good steward of our financial resources. Um, and you'll see this show up a bit in, in things. But I went through a season of my life where, um, it it was scary, like, I was financially like, oh, gosh, this is a big change to our life. We moved across the country to Colorado. Um, but given that I had tethered to that, I felt like we were in really good shape. And so it's just something that I keep on my list. Um, I no longer allow triggers from my past to hold back my future. Those top three curveballs that we talked about in the beginning, there's a lot of triggers associated with that. So just really when something comes up and I have to ask myself, why am I feeling this way? And I'll be like, oh, because you're allowing something that happened to you ten years ago to drive how you're feeling about this situation, like, be present. What's your reality now? You still feel the same way? Um, I don't allow my career to govern my life. If it's a big one. And I no longer struggle with this, but I definitely, you know, my whole identity was wrapped up in who I was at work. And, um, you know, I wasn't really rooted in myself, my life, who I was as a person. I was rooted in my career. And so I have I have that nice little reminder for weeks like these, quite frankly. Um, I am retired at age sixty with the financial freedom to live my dreams. That's really where the financial stuff comes from. It's from being responsible, being a good steward of, you know, the financial resources that God's given us and really saying, hey, like, we work really hard. I don't want to do this forever. Um, I don't allow my weight to govern how I feel about myself. So as someone who has yo yoed over, you know, health illnesses, gone through infertility. For the love of God, all the things that my poor little body has been through. My weight has just been a really big roller coaster, and it was really tied to my self-esteem and my confidence. And so having this as a true north would be like, what the heck are you saying to yourself in the mirror? And does it fit with the vision that you have for yourself, for your life? I don't sacrifice myself for others. Thank you. Therapy for this one. Um. As a recovering people pleaser and codependent person, this was really big. Like, am I going to go do this thing because it will make someone else happy, even though I'm exhausted and don't feel like I can't? I don't want to. It doesn't, you know, I, I no longer sacrifice myself for it doesn't mean I don't take care of the people that I love, that I don't show up for the people that I love and care about. but who is on that list is defined very differently because of this one. And then this one, the one that you know so well, I believe the kind things that people say about me. Ouch, ouch. I struggle this this one's struggle. Bus city still to this day. But those are my big vulnerable. That's my vision. That's. That's my vision. And for the record, the top three. The reason why I bring them up, those are the ones I say to myself every morning when I get up. Very simply, I exhibit Christ like behavior. I'm an exceptional wife. I honor my brother in my daily life. Those are the big three. The others are just the gentle reminders I give myself whenever I get restless or veer off course. So do you do this type of vision work every year? How does that work? Do they shift? Do they change? What does that look like for you? I do it every year. So again this started this process started for me back in the Rachel Hollis days. For those of you that aren't familiar, she used to do this exercise called The Last ninety days, where in October you do all the things to prepare yourself for the new year. So instead of doing New Year's resolutions, you're preparing yourself. The vision was very much around hustle culture, like I said. So it was around like earning more and drinking your water and exercising more and all these things that I no longer subscribe to. Um, but yeah, at the end of the year, I will say, since I hit my stride here, um, they didn't change much from twenty three to twenty four, and they didn't change at all from twenty four to twenty five. Something about being in your forties? I don't know, but I just really feel like this is, um, culminated into a really peaceful place, and these still really ring true for me. But prior to that, I mean, I had things on my list like, um, getting my master's degree. It was something that was on my list for like five years, and then I finally achieved it. It was like, you know, twenty under forty, like I used to have things in my list that were very driven to the station that I was at in life in the season that I was in, whereas now it's really just like, who am I? And it's less about these one off achievements or things like that, if that makes sense. Mhm. So good for, for mine this year I love and I think we've done it before. Um if not we're going to do it again. No we, we didn't do it before because this working moms redefined was born in March with the Denise Talcott leadership series. We've done the word of the year concept, where I love taking all of what Kristin has enveloped and working backwards from. How do you want people to feel once they leave you? With the thought process being, how do you want to feel about yourself when all those people are gone? I two years ago. Oh my goodness, what was the word? I had a word. Where's my word? Impact in twenty twenty four? Impact was the word because I wanted to help people feel their impact. So twenty twenty four was outward facing, whatever. That's great. As you referenced earlier, sometimes I have a health unhealthy relationship with humility. So this year I was struggling between two words and I ended up picking dynamic. And yes, I want people to realize that they are dynamic. But ultimately I needed to build a belief in myself that it was okay, that I am dynamic. And so I wear it on my wrist each and every day, right next to my BFF bracelet that Sydney gave me. And at the top of my sheet this year, it says my word of the year is dynamic. And the cool thing about focusing on me, because sometimes it's hard to focus on yourself when you're consistently serving and giving to others. The cool thing when I focus on realizing the dynamics in my life and how I am dynamic, I notice that word so much more when other people say it about themselves. So it rings both to be true. So in coaching sessions, if people will say, oh, I thought I saw that this was very dynamic or I mean, weekly, someone will say the word dynamic referencing themselves or situations and I'm like, ah, isn't that funny? What you look for, your brain will find, you know, that's the yellow card theory. Exactly. Yellow card theory. So I divide them up because, as Kristen referenced, she is in a different season when it comes to her whole self. And it's funny, I'd forgotten about that twenty under forty award thing, and that was on mine. And I was like, oh yeah, that was last year. This is what happens, right? When there's no reflection. We're not learning about ourselves. It's important. And so for this year I did different buckets. As annoying as that word is, I don't know why that is too much, but it annoys me anyway. That's right. So I did the buckets of relationships, my career, and for me that's not fun. But I did it. So for relationships I could not pick one for Jeremy. Like I couldn't pick one all encompassing one. So I broke it out for what are the most important relationships in my life. So Jeremy, our kids and my sister. And so for Jeremy, I just love these. It is I, I trust him, I empower, I don't oversee to the point now because I am who I am and I will own it. I have a habit tracker and so each month I write down what I did not oversee and I empowered him to do because December me is not going to remember what I did in January. So if I don't prove to myself that I did it, I'm not going to celebrate. Might even be too big of a word, but like relish in the fact of like, okay, yeah, I didn't move the goalpost. I actually reached the goalpost. So as I look back on, what did I. Let go. These are big things. And right now I get to add for the next month, I'm going to I'm gonna do it right now. I'm going to plan ahead. I even though the month is not completed yet, I'm going to put for September. He has been kicking butt on dealing with all things construction. Oh yeah. Oh no, I didn't use my same marker. And you've been kicking butt at not letting the construction drive you crazy. Look at you go one day at a time. Thanks for that, I appreciate it. Uh, let's see, kids, I incorporate fun into our family. One time before I even had children, someone said to me, Denise, I bet you are going to be such a fun mom. And that stuck with me because I don't really find myself to be a fun person. We've talked about this. We don't need to go down that road. Well, by golly, if that statement is not true, I just was telling myself an untrue story. Had I not written it down and tracked it, I would not be able to say, you know what, Denise? You've been lying to yourself. You are fun. Are there days where you're more fun and inviting than others? Absolutely. But that's called real life. As every human in the world, as every human, and with my sister, I am intentional with Dion. What does that look like? That means every three months we schedule time together. We got off of a weekend where she watches our kids a couple, two or three days each week during the summer. And so each year, the past two years, I have treated her to a weekend because, by golly, thank you for giving me the gift of wanting to spend time with our kids, you know? And so that's one way that I am intentional for my career bucket. I create harmony and delegate, and I let go to let others shine. So of course I have action items underneath all of this. You don't have to do this. This is where I have to have a plan. And Kristen's like, if you have a vision, you'll do it. Now that I'm saying this out loud, Kristen, I almost think it's because if I don't have the plan, I'm afraid I don't trust myself enough to do it. Yeah. I mean, to each his own. There's no wrong way. You are who you are. And there are going to be people built like you are going to be like. Yes, this makes the total sense to put this as a list. That's you taking it from a strategic vision to a strategic plan. That's, that's that's what that is. And that's where I would encourage anyone to go with it. In the beginning, like I said, with mine, there were things that were absolutely like there were milestones that needed to happen in order for certain things to happen. And like, I'll just when I first started putting like, you know, getting my master's, it was an MBA. I ended up getting an MHA. In the beginning, it was just get the degree. And then I started getting really good grades and I was like, then I want to graduate with a four point zero. So then it was like I pushed myself to that. So it's it's it has legs. It can walk on and do different things. It does not have to be any one thing. It is not intended to layer on pressure or more shoulds or more anything. It's just to give you permission to dream a little bit and to recognize, in my opinion, that there is a deep connection between you feeling fulfilled and doing those things for yourself, and how you show up for the people that mean the most to you. Beautiful. My for me statement was I show up authentically and then notice or observe when and why I might not. Oh yeah, that that's therapy man. That's so good. That's so good. But for me I have that people. I love how you say it. Right. And I think I say it in the open. Right. Like that recovering people pleaser. Yeah. It's so deep in some of us. And you don't have to do that. And showing up authentically has been so darn fun because a lot of people get this version of me. And yet now everyone does, because there's that less of a fear of I wonder what people are gonna think. Well, they're gonna think something, whether you give them something to think about or not. So take that off the table. Take that question off the table. Yeah. Is there anything else before we go into lightning Round questions for us to really get to know you? Even more so, Kristin, is there anything else you want to add? I just think that sometimes these conversations, like I immediately go into the okay, what all did we talk about? What did we say when you asked that question? I think that, um. It is not that any of this was easy. I went through really, really difficult things, as I'm certain everyone listening has. And I, I mean, the hardest thing I've ever done in my life was walk out of the hospital room and leaving my brother there. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. And for so long I could not say that out loud. I couldn't even barely think it and survive and breathe. The fact of the matter is, is that everybody has their moment like that. That hardest thing, the thing that just really, really hurts them and wrecks them. And so I love the idea that if people could take those things and channel them into action for their life, that points them in a direction that they want to be going in, rather than those be the things that hold people back. That's the biggest thing because none of this has been easy. Every single one of the big three that I mentioned at the beginning were fraught with so much heartache, so many tears, so many days where I didn't want to get out of bed. You know, there are still times where I will wake up in the middle of the night and my thought will be, oh my God, my brother died. Oh my God, that's real. That really happened. Or Oh, my God, I really am never gonna be a mom. I'm really never going to have my own kids. Like, none of that goes away. But where I channeled with that is where I channel that to is so different, because I have taken the time for myself to build this true north for my life and a place unnested and in totally unnested place that I love so much. That being said, let's go ahead and just give that info now before we do the lightning round. Questions. How can people work with you, connect with you, ask questions, learn more. Where can they go? Yes, I'm at, um, a life unnested com and I yes, I'm old school without the socials and I am life unnested at gmail.com, which you, you know, comes to my phone. I talk to people all the time on there. So those are the two best ways. I'm also on LinkedIn. Um, Kristen Rogers, um, slash strategy on LinkedIn. Yeah, we will link all three of those opportunities in the show notes. Having someone like Kristen in your life will make your life better. Period. There is there is no better way to say it. And this is fun. This lightning round is going to be so fun. If you had to sum up your personal vision in one word right now, what would it be? Peaceful. Carly, what's one should that you've let go that has completely changed your life? Oh, one that I let go that has changed my life. Um. I should have stayed. That could be applied in so many areas. My hands just got sweaty. Morning ritual or evening routine? Which one? Um, neither. My. I have some things that I do, some habits that I do. But I have learned to be still and listen to my body. And that has completely changed the ritual nature of my life. I was super habit. Super. Everything has to look this way if I'm going to be. And now I'm like, you know, my alarm goes off at the same time and things like that. But I'm very intentional about listening to my body, and I think that's where peaceful comes from, if I'm being real honest. But yeah, not a ritualistic hell, if I'm envious in or jealous, I'm not sure we'll get there. You're probably just full of anxiety, because the idea that you that somebody would say that it's probably the craziest thing you've ever heard in your life, you might have actually nailed it. You might have actually nailed it. Okay. If you could put one sentence about vision or something that working moms need to hear on a billboard. I'm going to pull out the marketing background in you. What would it say if I was going to drive by it each and every day? What would you put on there so that I would read? Hey, beautiful, do it for yourself. I whip my hair back, do it for myself. Okay, let's take it a step further. Kristen. I'm gonna put myself out there. My hands are sweaty. What is something that you feel like I could or should not using the word should? I'm going to backtrack. I will not edit that out because words have power and I messed up. What is something that I could do for myself? That maybe you feel as if I'm not looking straight in the eye? Oh, we've talked about this. Do it. Um, what's my advice for you? For real at this moment? Oh, gosh. Um, take more time for yourself. That is just for you. I feel like you think that you do it. And then I saw a post from you about first day of school where it was like, it's not this, it's this. And I'm like, but it should be that. Yeah. See, and I think that that is a perfect example, Kristen, of being able to put yourself, me in that example, to ask the hard question for somebody who is close to you to best reflect what they see, they might you might need in your life. A million percent and somebody that's coming to it from a place of love and someone who knows what is really important to you. I think that, you know, Brene Brown used to say, you know, the power of vulnerability. She's who taught me about the power of vulnerability, but also the power of knowing where the right place to do that is. This stuff can completely be an undoing in the wrong hands. You know, I've had people in my life who I thought really had my best interest and saw things in me and sort of made me feel safe, and then found out the really hard way that they were not the right people. And so, yeah, I think finding the right person to do it, and we've definitely found it in each other because we have no problem pushing back and saying, I hear you, but have you considered that maybe you actually do need to do more? That is just for yourself and to say you're right, you know, to be able to say, I'm going to write it on my to do list. Hold on. Okay. Last question. What is one small practical step that one of our beautiful listeners could take today to start clarifying their or his or her own vision? Yeah. Um, apart from getting somebody to help you with it, because I do think that external voice is really important. Um, I would get really clear about my buckets, like mine being faith and family and those things. I think getting getting clear about that is the first step, because then you can start to see, what do I need to say to myself every day to make sure that those things are my priority? Boom. I mean, there is no better way to wrap up this than by saying thank you. Thank you for giving us the gift of your expertise, your love, your knowledge, your passion, and your true desire to help us live a life of worthiness, of of realizing that a nested isn't a bad thing, right? It's how do we dream? How do we explain the unexplained transition, our relationship with worthiness and expect the unexpected. That is so darn awesome. And again, if you want to connect with Kristen, please do so. You will not. You will. That will be your next perfect right step is by visiting with her. You can connect with her in our show notes. But until then, we remind you that a lot of this stuff can be a lot. And yet it can be some of the exact things that you needed to hear. But it's all different, and some of us might consider it hard. But you know what I'm going to say? You know, I'm going to say you can do hard things, so go do your hard things. Thank you for listening to the Working Moms Redefined podcast. It is not lost on me that you chose to spend time together. Thank you. Let's connect outside of this space on socials. We'd love for you to follow us on Instagram, Facebook LinkedIn, Pinterest. We've got it all to connect with you. If you feel as if someone in your life could be impacted by this message, feel free to share it. That is the biggest compliment. As we part ways together, remember you can do hard things. Um, so Sydney has decided that I'm so good at hair that she is going to pick a Pinterest style every day and I'm going to do it. And hell yeah, I'm gonna do it. So today's this is what I don't know if you can tell. Oh, you really are. Yeah. I'm good. I know what I'm doing. But look. Look at that face. I love her so hard. I love her so hard. She she she's. The picture of you guys at that wedding was amazeballs. Oh. Thank you. Just very authentic, like Hudson. I'm not joking. Probably spent two hours at that thing. Two hours? This is my conversation with her. Um. Never done it. Can't speak to it. Looks hard.
