Untitled - September 5, 2025
00:00:00 Speaker: Hi, I'm Denise. Host of the Working Moms Redefined podcast. Let's join together as we lessen the hold of mom guilt in our lives, thrive in our careers, and raise great kids. You are doing enough. Let us boost your confidence today on this episode of Working Moms Redefined podcast. Something big happened in our home recently. Paints Denise, and thanks for listening to this week's Working Moms Redefined podcast. If you have little ears nearby, scoot them out of the room. If you have inquiring minds that are asking lots of questions lately and they are the under the age of fifteen, scoot them out of the room. Why you ask? Because we are talking about the magic of Santa Claus And all of that entails is different in our household now. So now that you've scooted those little ears out of the room, I am sad. Sidney asked a sweet little question not too long ago when I was putting her to sleep. It was a Sunday night. We were laying down in her bed. I was rubbing her back, that sweet eight and a half year old little girl. And before I left her room, literally at like eight o'clock that night, I said, sweetie, is there anything else that you want to talk about? Mistake number one. How dare I ask questions about my daughter and wondering what's going on in her beautiful little mind? How dare I? And she said to me, well, yeah, my cousin and her friend were talking about Santa, and they were talking about how Santa is not real and the lights are off at this point. Instantly my body goes into this is it. This is when I have to tell this innocent little child that that white bearded man in a red suit is your father. And as I listen to her sweet little voice start tiptoeing around this conversation, she said to me, they were saying that he's not real. And I think they're lying to me. And I said, oh, real scene. Remember, you do not answer questions that are not asked of you, at least when it comes to children. And she goes, yeah, I told him that they're lying. There was a pause in the conversation. The lights are still off. And then she looks at me, even though I really couldn't see those big brown eyes of hers. And she goes, mommy, are they lying? Is Santa real? And it was at this point in time where I got up, I shut her door because her brother is not too far off. And I turned the lights on and I said, sweetheart, the magic of Santa is very much alive. And I believe that's how my mom presented it to me. And so today we're going to talk about what did it look like when my daughter asked, mom, is Santa real? That heartbreaking question that I wasn't quite ready to give up. And yet we're moving into a different season of childhood, and we have several families in our community that choose to not have Santa alive and around Christmas. And that's okay. And yet that is something that we had chosen to partake in. Now, my sister is a big time listener and of course one of my biggest fans, and she feels so bad about the fact that her daughter was the one that prompted this conversation. And I say to that, no, no, no, if it wasn't her, it was going to be someone else. The fact that we made it to third grade at eight and a half is so wonderful. You know what I mean? So I guess don't freak out over the oh, my gosh, I have to be so prepared. You will know as a parent what that looks like in that moment for how you are going to have that conversation with your child. And yet I want to better be able to equip you, because for me, this is something that I work day in and day out with. I am coaching adults to help them get to the right answer, and so this was something that was easier for me. But I know it is not easy for all. And so I want to share that wealth of knowledge about how do we share with our children that the magic of Santa is alive and well? The secret of Santa is honestly true and meaningful. So in that conversation, when I flipped on the lights and I looked at Sidney and I said, sweetheart, we're going to talk about the magic of Santa and the story of Saint Nicholas. And before I answer the question of Is Santa real? We went into how Saint Nicholas gifted orphans who were not going to get anything with these beautiful and considerate gifts, and how the holly and jolly of this man is very much alive, because the magic of Santa lives in each and every one of you and her. And as we explain this, I could see the wheels turning in her mind. And yes, her eyes were welling up a little bit, as were mine. Because yes, there was sadness around the magic changing and being different. But I absolutely despise when people say, oh, the magic is lost. The magic is only lost if you let it go away. Huh? Think about it. How many times did you love and look forward to the Christmas season? Whether it was from the excitement that was going on at schools, the coloring sheets, the gingerbread making around those milk cartons, the Christmas parties that you got to make fun crafts, and then you come home and you make Christmas cookies with moms or gingerbread houses at home, and you have this whole list of Christmas to dos. It didn't center around whether or not Santa was there or there was a belief in Santa. It was in the environment that more oftentimes than not that your mom created for you. And so the magic is not lost. The magic shifts. Now, I did not explain this to you. I'm telling you that as a working parent, let's not get caught up in the sadness because this is a transition. And as I explained, I have this secret. If you're watching on YouTube, I have this little fun little thing I'm showing you. I wrote this letter to Sydney because after this conversation and I explained the story of Saint Nicholas, she instantly went into, So is daddy the one who's boots are walking from the fireplace to where our gifts are? I said, yeah, and she said, so are you the one that purchases the gifts for us? I said, yeah, and guess what, sweetheart, you get to help us do that. Now for Hudson. Everyone across this world, all of the adults are in on this beautiful secret. And now you are too. And then that smart little devil of her, she said, does that mean I get to stay up late on Christmas Eve and help you? And I was like, you could literally ask for the world right now and I would give it to you. But yes, you can help us with the Christmas season on Christmas Eve and providing that magic for someone else because you've loved the way that it made you feel. And yet that feeling does not go away. Now, this conversation was probably twenty twenty five minutes and we said our goodbyes. She said good night. And I went in our bedroom and I had some tears drop. I honestly think it was harder for me than it was her. But I go back to it's a transition, it's a different season. And yet, how exciting is it going to be this Christmas when we get to see the magic that she gets to provide for someone else, and eventually we'll do so for her children? I am very much looking forward to it, and one day, I will really love the fact that I don't have to work as hard to hide the gifts. But nonetheless, I was not content with how the conversation ended. I wanted her to know that one. We were not lying to her. That too. This is a newfound belief in yourself. And we talk about this in the letter. I paraphrase, I'll paraphrase for you. But I got to writing because sometimes my best thoughts are when I can put pen to paper. And so as I'm jotting down my thoughts, I'm giving her credit. Right. You're quickly growing up. You're a beautiful young woman. You're old enough now to understand what I'm about to share with you. And I talk through about yes, Santa is both real and not real. We talked about the story of Saint Nick, and this is all in the letter, which if you visit our show notes, you can click on and get it for yourself. You can customize it. You can. I have it labeled as Dear Magic Maker and it's from you. So you can customize it how you see fit. Or take my default one because it works very well. And I explained, you know how our parents did that for us when we were little and their parents did it for them? And you're going to love getting to do that one day, whether it's now for your brother or one day for your children. And I explained, Although Santa is not a person, it doesn't mean that Santa and the magic isn't real. Yes, Santa might not live at the North Pole, but he's alive in our hearts. And that magic and that spirit that you feel, you can't see it. You know, that fuzziness that you get when you see twinkling lights or when we go Christmas tree shopping, or when you pick out a a special gift for someone else. That's Santa's. That magic will not go away. Now that you know that a guy in a red suit is not the one coming down the chimney. It honestly means even more because we chose to be secret and not take the credit for the gifts that we were giving to you. Santa is ultimately love. He is joy. He is giving. It's the magic of believing in something bigger than yourself, something that you can't even see. And that leads into the next part of the conversation. And this is where I know that you're going to love, because we're then telling them that you now can believe in something without seeing it. In our home, we have raised our kids to be Christians, and so they kind of already have that belief in God. They know that belief in something that they cannot see. And yet Santa was something that was often talked about. So it was the cool thing to do. Why can't we make that about God to be a cool thing, too? And so we talk about how one of the most important gifts that you will ever have is believing, whether that's in Jesus Christ, whether that's believing in yourself, whether it's in your family or your friends, but you have a faith that the magic of Santa taught you. You now know and have a deeper level of confidence in yourself and your abilities that you can do hard things even if you don't know if you've done it before. Because if you can believe in something as simple as Santa, you can believe in yourself. If you can believe in this magic of oh, there's not a man that creepily comes into my house at Christmas Eve, and instead it's like, oh, I'm actually safer. We gotta find the high points and give credit to the sadness, because I want to make that very clear. If we don't validate their feelings, they're going to think that they don't matter. And so in this letter, we then talk about I know it's kind of sad because part of the magic that you once held is different. Make it very clear it is not gone. It is only gone if you tell them it's gone. And that's my responsibility. It's not gone. It's different. In its place is a new kind of magic. A new kind of faith. A new kind of joy in getting to be the Santa's helpers. You're on Santa's team now. You're the magic maker. You get to help us keep that magic alive. Whether it's for your brother, your cousins, your friends, those who still believe. And yet now you know one of the biggest kept secrets that maybe not everybody else knows. And that's pretty darn cool. We talk about the depth and the responsibility that it is to hold that secret, because every child deserves to find out on his or her own timeline. It is not ours to tell. And so we talk about, even though, yes, we've talked about the we don't keep secrets from Mom and Dad. Mom and dad know this secret, so let's keep it between the three of us. And you are going to give a gift to someone that you don't even realize when they find out Hudson might need a hug. Just like you need a hug right now. And so I wrote this letter, and I would love for you to be able to equip yourself with it, because I needed a couple hours to be able to process my thoughts and get them down on paper. And I want to share the secret of Santa with you. So like I said, you can visit us. Feel free to send us a message. If you're like Denise, I just want to connect with you and get this. Absolutely. Or visit us in the show notes wherever you're listening to today's podcast. And so, yes, Christmas might look different for us this year. And yet I'm honestly not sad about it. It was a beautiful season and there will be other beautiful seasons. And now, because I keep a running list of like, oh, what might you want from Santa? Now I get these little side eye looks and and moments of connection with Sydney that I didn't have previously. Those little side eyes like, ah, I see what you're doing is actually even more beautiful than I imagined. If your kids are young, I hope that this does not happen for a while. And if your kids, even if your kids have already found out, have this conversation with them. Because let's be honest, Sydney told me the next day she was like, when we were alone. She goes, yeah, I think I'm just going to choose to believe anyway. That's fine. You do. You. But those side eyes, those moments of connection, tell me differently. You can do hard things. This is a hard thing. And yet, if we create a system not only for us to be ready, it will only benefit our kids even more so. So I encourage you to check that out. So appreciate you being here and in community because man, motherhood and parenthood is difficult. And yet this is why we share these types of conversations or these tactics or systems. Because you're not alone. And I want to remind you of that and that you can do hard things. Thank you for listening to the Working Moms Redefined podcast. It is not lost on me that you chose to spend time together. Thank you. Let's connect outside of this space on socials. We'd love for you to follow us on Instagram, Facebook LinkedIn, Pinterest. We've got it all to connect with you! If you feel as if someone in your life could be impacted by this message, feel free to share it. That is the biggest compliment as we part ways together. Remember, you can do hard things.
