Untitled - August 20, 2025
00:00:00 Speaker: I see you doing all the things, holding all the pieces. It's a lot. Here's the truth. You don't need more time to be the mom you want to be. You need more connection. And it starts with nine minutes a day. Hi, I'm Denise Talcott with the Working Moms Redefined podcast. I've created a masterclass that tells you exactly how to build deep, lasting connection with your kids in the middle of your busy life. You can start today at Working Moms Redefined dot com or click our link in the show notes. Remember, you can do hard things, but you don't have to do them alone. Hi, I'm Denise, host of the Working Moms Redefined podcast. Let's join together as we lessen the hold of mom guilt in our lives, thrive in our careers, and raise great kids. You are doing enough. Let us boost your confidence today on this episode of the Working Moms Redefined podcast. We're feeling feisty on today's Working Moms Redefined podcast. Hi, it's Denise. We are in a weird transitional time for a lot of us that have school aged kids. For you who you might be thinking, oh, I don't need to listen, my kids aren't in school anymore and apply it to the season of life that you are in. Because today we are talking about what we as working moms. And let's be honest, whenever you have kids, you're always a mom. So if your kids are out of that season, you're still a working mom. It's just different. Your kids aren't at home, but we need to give ourselves permission to let go of some things while also saying yes. And this is where the feistiness is coming in today. Our kids started back to school and not too long ago, whereas some on East and West Coast, some of you listeners aren't having your kids start school until after Labor Day, which is going to be here before you know it. And one time I listened to this Mel Robbins podcast and she talked about actually, how this fall season ahead of the holidays is a really great time for a lot of us to get back in go mode, if you will, to achieve our goals. Now, I will say that a majority of you one have never stopped working towards your goals. It looked differently maybe over the summer because wow, schedules were a lot. And yet now we're in a familiar season. So by the end of today's episode, we are going to discuss some things that, for me personally, I am saying yes to and a few things that I'm saying no to. Now, do you need to pick these things? Absolutely not. Could you say yes to some and no to others? You bet. But it's a fun way to challenge yourself to say, okay, I'm in go mode and a different way. Because let's be honest, after Thanksgiving, December's insane as well. So between now and Thanksgiving, what are you going to do that is going to elevate you, your business, your employer, your family? What does that look like for you? Let's pick something. And maybe you need to readdress some of those goals, or your vision sheet that you made at the beginning of this year, but don't give yourself any guilt or shame over not having taken action on those if you haven't. That's why you're here today. I have. Been living in a place of going back and forth between authenticity. You listen to a podcast episode probably not too long ago, about authenticity and about how I didn't always live in that space. And now I'm really embracing my quirks, my weirdness, my awkwardness. Just the other day, I said to Hudson, I love that you're kind of weird. And he looked at me like I was calling him or told him that he had three heads. He thought that was not okay, which of course, then there's a little judgment around the word weird. And yet, let's find your weirdness and funnel that into something that you're going to say yes to. Isn't that so cool? I wrote this blog post, so if you want to go in way more detail, or if you're more of a reader, go check that out. But as we head into the full school year, Crazy Hudson is going to be in first grade. Sydney is in third grade, I think. Yeah, third grade. And so we are ready to achieve. We are ready to sit still. We are ready to be. What's the word content. Find contentment. All of those things can't exist at the same time and it's working towards that. So five things that I'm saying yes to for me, myself in the next school year or the next couple of weeks. I love tightly scheduled mornings. Some people might not. So maybe you want to give yourself a pass to say I want slow mornings. I love tightly scheduled mornings because once I take the kids to school, I am focused. I am on fire. I work really well in the morning. I'm a creative thinker, and so when I can establish habits and time on my schedule to creatively think in the morning, it's a it's a higher valued product, if you will. So I'm going to jam it in then, because usually like one or two in the afternoon hits and I'm slowing down. I don't love that about myself. And yet I can't go full speed ahead in all moments of the day. Neither can you. So I'm going to tightly pack things in the morning and then really focus on doing maybe computer work or organization for the next day, or coaching clients. You know, what does that look like there? Where? It fits my speed. But in the morning, I'm tightly packing things in. For another thing I wanted to say yes to. I wanted to say that I would take a walk on my lunch, but I'm not sure if that is possible. One, because that would require me to take a lunch. And I couldn't tell you the last time I took a lunch. Two I have a harder time serving myself over others if I know I have ads to create, if I have phone calls to return, if I have speeches to write or clients to meet with and coach and ask questions, I'm going to pick that over something that benefits me, healthy or not, I'm working towards it. So rather than say, hey, I want to walk sometime throughout my midday, not I don't necessarily need it for the physical activity because I do that in the morning. Maybe just to clear my thoughts would be the main benefit. Well, I really like silent car rides. I don't need to listen to something midday, whether that's music or a phone call. I'm going to mute those things. And maybe on my drive from the office to home, it's quiet and I allow that space for me saying yes to five to ten minute silent car rides. I'm a big intentionality person. And so this back to school season, where I'm focusing on choosing me a little bit more, I want to make sure that the conversations and the people that I have these conversations with are very intentional. Whether that's at the dinner table with our family, whether that's sideline at Hudson's football game or in the viewing section of Sydney's gymnastics. I want need to be a little bit more protective of my space. I don't need to talk to talk. That's something that I really teach is that if you don't have anything to say, don't feel like you have to fill a void. You can ask a question and let them talk or be okay in silence. Be okay with not being super excited to talk to someone now. I'm also the first person to say, hey, if it's on your heart to go talk with somebody, do it. You never know what they might need. But authentically be who you are and don't fake it. People see through that. I know, at least I do. So I'm really going to work on continuing to choose my words and the people that I focus my time and energy with. Can't give yourself to everybody. Spoken from somebody who has done that. And I'm learning the hard way. I'm learning that not everybody deserves a piece of you, but some people can have access to you in different ways. Who you choose. Something to consider. Still. Still mulling that over as I look at the calendar for number four of five, things that I'm saying yes to is I really want to fill the remaining year or remaining days with work that I love that lights me up now. I truly believe that about ten percent of my work sometimes I'm not going to love as much as others. It's inevitable. I'm not a huge computer work person. I do not like data entry and numbers. I love math, don't get me wrong, but Excel spreadsheets and numbers? That is my sister's forte. Pass it along to her. And so delegation is part of that. How can I enjoy even more so of what I put on my calendar in regards to work? I would also extend that to relationships. Looking at my calendar, as I mentioned earlier, I don't take lunch maybe once a month I set a lunch date. Maybe. I also super, super excited. I've gotten this opportunity, put together this leadership program for youth. And so one week, one day a week, I get to help those in high school learn how to be better leaders and start teaching them some of the things that I wish I had known at their age now. It's a gift to be able to do that and that lights me up. I said three years ago when I started this business coaching business, business coaching business, whatever public speaking business, you wouldn't know it from that, right? I remember saying to my business coach at the time, I really love kids now, our kids being how old are they? Hudson's going to be seven soon. Sydney's eight and a half. I think it's obviously super important to invest into them first and foremost. And yeah, we're doing okay. I wouldn't say we're doing more than okay. Jeremy's guilt that he's been putting on himself lately would not say that, being that poor man. Hudson is a I'm going off on a tangent here, but I think so many of you guys can relate to Sydney first child, right? Typical first child. She's starting to get a little bit of sassy, which I love it. I want that sass. That is something that I did not have at a younger age. And I would assume maybe that's why I'm making up some of the spiciness at this age, but nonetheless a gift to you. She is standing up more for herself. She's not being complacent when Hudson takes her toy, or if she doesn't like something, I am hearing that tude. I'm okay with it. Hudson. Jeremy is very distraught lately about what he views as the lack of respect. Now that is, there is a dynamic there of a lack of respect. But we cannot meet that with fear or. Not. Fear is not the right word with this force to be reckoned with. And you will do what I say, because I say so. Like that is not how we parent. And yet Jeremy is struggling with. It worked when I was a kid. And then I say, those therapy bills say that that did not work, but whatever. And that discussion within himself, that internal dialogue, Jeremy, we're speaking about is how do I model respects I he's wrestling not with himself to say like I'm modeling respect for him. Right. And I said I don't know. Do you feel like you're modeling respect for him. And although that's important to reflect on, it's not ours to take total ownership because you and I both know that you are showing how to be respectful to others, to your children. We also have to remember that second children, boys. It's hard. I'm saying that as an excuse, but meeting your kids with conversation and intentional conversation is important. That all stemmed from the number four point of doing what fuels me. Having intentional conversations, asking questions of kids that are even seven years old. We have a nothing dollar masterclass that is a thirty minute masterclass where it talks about nine minutes a day for a lifetime of connection, and I provide those questions for you in a cute little printout. So if you're at all interested, check that out. The link is in the show notes. And Jeremy, I had him take that course the other day and he goes, this is really good. Denise. And I said, we've talked about this. Do you not see me do that? And he goes, well, I've seen you do it, but I never really put two and two together. Like, and you wonder why Hudson's not observing the fact of respect, but again, well, this will be a fun to see if Jeremy listens to this conversation or this podcast. Okay, number five, final thing that I am saying more yes to than previous, and I think it is showing up in today's podcast episode authenticity. I want to make sure that I'm vulnerable with all of you. I want you to feel as if I am sitting next to you, whether you're doing your makeup, whether you're driving in your car, and I want you to feel as if you're listening and talking with one of your very best friends, and that that requires a level of vulnerability. And guys, that's scary for both you and I. My recovering people pleaser inside of me is saying kind of in a little quieter state, like, oh, they might not like you. And then the other part of me is like one or they might and two does that part matter as much as to whether or not, if the question I'm asking myself is do I like me? That's a good reminder that vulnerability is connection. When some you are smart enough to know when someone is pulling the wool over your eyes. I am from the forties, apparently. See, it's stuff like that. It is stuff like that where I'm, like, making fun of myself. But I'm not being mean that I like to have that internal dialogue. I have a friend of mine who actually lives down the road from us, and she is all in about her love for animals and beekeeping and her sons getting involved. I'm so proud of them because they're being vulnerable. Plus, people love seeing what's going on in real life because in an AI world, we're not so sure what's real and what's not real. Being vulnerable allows people to see what is real. That's my list of what I'm saying yes to more of three things I'm not saying yes to, or three things I'm saying no. First one over apologizing. Taking ownership over things that are really not mine to own so that conflict does not happen. Oh. I'm sorry. I used to say that quite a bit. I see the kids saying it. You drop a cup of water, you bump into somebody? Yes, it's honestly used as a courteous act anymore. But every time we, at least for me, every time I say I'm sorry, there's a dynamic of me accepting responsibility for sometimes actions that are not my own. It's really going to focus on. Not apologizing as much. I'm saying no to over apologizing. I'm also saying no. And this is a struggle. My Enneagram three achiever in me is performing for approval. Performing even that word in and of itself conflicts with vulnerability. Performing means you're almost putting an act or a face or a mask on. That's not true. So I would say that it makes sense that those two are on this list. And I love to think about this. For me, I needed to, or I thought I needed to achieve to earn a seat at the table. Whether that's awards, whether that's trainings, whether that's certificates, whether that's job promotions or business creation, whatever that looks like for you. I thought that in order to get a seat at the table, I had to do. Does that help? Probably. But I also know that who I am, my values. I stand for the person I am, the ideas that I bring. I don't need to earn my seat at the table. And I would also say like, what's your table? What seat at the table are you trying to earn? Because at the home your seat is already there. You can do nothing to earn it. It is there at work. I bet I bet you are excelling. And the seat at that table is already yours. And so when I think about being aware that I am doing good work to do good things, and that in and of itself is beautiful and enough. I don't earn that seat at the table. That seat at the table is already mine, and that comes from a place of humility. And then I would also say, especially if you're looking at our or watching on our YouTube channel, this seat, we'll use this one in my office. Let me point the other way. That seat is yours. And you can do nothing different to earn it because it is yours. Come sit next to me. You don't need to do all of the time for approval. We don't need to perform for approval. And again, these things are all things that I am learning and adjusting and doing myself. So we're practicing together, and that's okay. And the final thing that I'm not saying yes to this back to school season is letting guilt lead you all. Loved episode number five Working Moms Redefined with Sarah Simonich. She's my therapist, and still to this day, we work through letting guilt and shame have less power in my life, and I believe you have to name it to tame it. I really want to focus on letting grace and groundedness and reflection of being kind to myself be at the forefront rather than, oh, you didn't do that good enough, or oh, you should have done more. When really, for me, that comes out of a protection mechanism. I'm protecting myself because that's how I knew how to keep myself in line. Well, thirty five year old Denise knows what she's doing. It's okay. And reminding myself of that time and time again is super important. So I am trying to let go of the guilt and instead focus on grace, growth, and groundedness. What's your list as you think about some of these things? Hopefully. Maybe you've been jotting them down, but I want you to think of something. Something that you want to say yes to more of in the next few months, and maybe something that you want to say no to more, while realizing this is a time to put your foot on the gas pedal, while also realizing you're doing a good enough job. Thank you for listening to the Working Moms Redefined podcast. It is not lost on me that you chose to spend time together. Thank you. Let's connect outside of this space on socials. We'd love for you to follow us on Instagram Facebook LinkedIn, Pinterest. We've got it all to connect with you. If you feel as if someone in your life could be impacted by this message, feel free to share it. That is the biggest compliment as we part ways together. Remember, you can do hard things.
