Untitled - August 13, 2025
00:00:00 Speaker: Hi, I'm Denise. Host of the Working Moms Redefined podcast. Let's join together as we lessen the hold of mom guilt in our lives, thrive in our careers, and raise great kids. You are doing enough. Let us boost your confidence today on this episode of Working Moms Redefined podcast. Meal planning. Deciding when to start the crock pot. Should I go do a pickup? Should I pay for grocery delivery? Or should I take the time and pick out my produce and actually walk through the grocery store like I got to do with my mom as a child? All of these concepts come to mind when I think of meal planning and deciding what to make for kids and our family. Enter Nicki Nichols. She not only is a phenomenal cook, but Nicki and her husband own Bokis Boq's kitchen, and this company is years in the making, a catering business that serves wholesome, nourishing food to so many while also integrating frozen meals as part of the landscape. And I'm going to tell you right now, they are stinking delicious. In addition to owning businesses, Nikki is a working mom of two bonus kids. She is active in her personal growth. She's a wife. She is one of the most intentional friends that you could ever have in your entire life. And a killer musician. Nikki today is here with me to talk ways to improve our meal planning, ways to improve our efficiency in the kitchen from somebody who literally does it day in and day out. But the really even cooler part, and I get chills as I even talk about this, is that Nikki shares her relationship with food and how it has changed and adjusted over the years, and how it really wasn't healthy for a long period of time. And the reason that we want to go into this type of topic is because I know that you can relate, because I do as well. And before I take away or give away any more of what we're going to talk about today, Nikki, welcome. Well, thank you so much for having me here as a guest. This podcast has been such a gift. Um, you are full of such light that you're just sharing with everyone and whoever's listening. Um, it's really literal icing on the cake for people like you and me who were doing something really different, maybe. And then, you know, there's everybody's out there, has got a special calling to do something. So just to have the space to even talk about these things is just a gift. So, wow, if you're watching on our YouTube channel, you can feel and see my hands get sweaty and my uncomfortableness because when Nikki gives kindness, it's so very genuine. but also your icing on the cake reference was top notch. Her cream cheese icing, if you would like to know, is also very fabulous. So she can literally speak from her kitchen on this. And so Nikki, before we dive in today, right, I want to know by the end of this episode, what are our listeners going to have learned to have taken away to ultimately know more when it comes to food? I hope that everyone who's listening today leaves with a little bit gentler way to look at food. Um, maybe even have just, like, a thought of what your relationship with food looks like. Um, and what it is and what it can do for your mind, body and your soul. And just the thought that food is food and the thoughts we put behind your food is so important. In a way that Nikki is a forever learner. She is also certified and very educated in the human design space. And so that's another conversation for another time that we will have one hundred percent. And relationship with food oftentimes comes from learning about ourselves and learning about why we show up, the ways that we do. And as we get to that later in the episode, I can't wait. But before that, would you share a little bit about how Bokis Kitchen came about and what inspired you really to start it? Um, so happy to, uh, so Bokis kitchen was born from pretty much an idea of something I was already doing. So to even go back a little further, uh, the year twenty twenty was pivotal for so many of us. We, uh, you know, I was furloughed from my long term healthcare career, and it was just life shattering, almost. So I was very much in survival mode. What am I going to do? How am I going to get through this? Uh, you know, my mom, who had the catering business, was calling me very devastated, saying, my jobs are cancelled. I don't know what I'm going to do next. And I think a lot of people were just in that mindset of like, what's next? And so I'm not one to like, sit around and not do anything. So I was like, okay, mom, I have the perfect idea. Let's do this. Just try it, see what happens. She was not super receptive, but pretty much told me, do whatever you want. Go for it. Well, it was frozen meals and I haven't stopped since, so. And it's been it was two years in, so it was twenty twenty two when we decided to rebrand. And mom decided to take a step back because it was kind of challenging. Um, I think anybody that has met me in person knows I, I, I guess we could call it a strong personality, but and my mom is the same way. So we both of us trying to do the same thing at the same goal wasn't working out, so she knew that it was my time to just figure it out and go from there. So that's what we did and it's been amazing. It's been an amazing journey. We are back to catering, we are back to doing all the things and I'm I'm loving what I'm doing and you do it so very well. So very well. We love the fact that you offer all of these services to make our lives easier. And yet either it be it because they don't live near you and can't take advantage of your amazing frozen meals, or if we might not have the budget in order to do so. Planning and meal planning specifically is key, and you plan weeks and months in advance around food. And so I know that you have tips and tricks and advice for all of us for meal planning. Specifically, what benefits do you see? Like you got to paint the picture. If I do this, how is it going to make my life easier from my perspective? One I love food and I love to look forward to knowing what I'm going to eat. Two I was raised in on a farm, you know, thirty five, forty minutes from the town. And so you got one grocery trip each week to town. And so you had to plan for your entire week. So literally, I've only seen my mom do that. So that's of course, how I am going to do it. And the benefits are too. Like, I can always then plan for leftovers and I can plan for treats, right? I can plan for Cassie's pizza because if you know, you know. But what other benefits of meal planning are there? Gosh, the list goes on and on. The big one that I can think of right off the top of my head, is the mental load that is just released from you once you have that plan. So, you know, there's like it's a actual joke in my house. Like, if somebody asks what's for dinner? Uh, it's just something that every household can probably relate to. And it's usually directed at. Mom. What's for dinner? And, uh, yeah, it's just kind of like those three words are really something else because, like, what is for dinner? I don't know, some days, you know, some days you don't. Well, when you have a plan and your family's aware of the plan and your family knows the plan, it just it takes that out of the equation. So I would say just that that mental load of the what's for dinner that can constantly, like come up at least once a day. Uh, it just releases that. And when you have a plan, you just feel more empowered to do and stick with your plan and it builds self-trust. So then the next question is, okay, how do you keep everybody in the know with them not having to ask you? There's multiple ways I remember. seeing a friend of mine have a marker board in their kitchen and so every week, right, they could expect what to see for dinner for Jeremy and I. What has been working a lot lately is a shared note. So then, if by chance. Unless you. Thank you. That's a good one for the bloopers. So then, if by chance I'm not going to be home in time to start making dinner, Jeremy can look at look at the share note and say, oh, we're just having sandwiches tonight. I can go ahead and get those started. Or, oh, that's why the crock pot is been going. There's, you know, those shared calendar little devices that you can have. There's multiple ways. So that the question honestly, like you said doesn't even get asked. And it does take some effort in the forefront. But also for me, on that shared note, I keep a running list of recipes that I like. You know what's you know what? What's on the list right now? Uh, chicken bacon, ranch wraps, spaghetti, mac and cheese, uh, leftovers. Because life, uh, sometimes I double cook, right? So, like, on Sundays, if Jeremy's going to grill burgers, I lay out two burgers. So then that way I can have some extra for the week, and it works. Does meal planning have to be glamorous? I don't I mean, it doesn't. It's not glamorous. It's not a glamorous thing. It is actually the opposite. Like, because you think about it like you're. I like to have proteins, like put away in the freezer, put away, tucked away. Like, make it easy. Make your meal easy. So when you're, uh, cooking a ten pound thing, a hamburger at one time, that's not cute. Like. And a lot of, like, home kitchens. You're really not able to do that either. So you kind of have to get creative. Like you're getting all your pans out and you're like, I'm going to gonna put a few pounds in here, a few pounds in here, a few pounds in here, and then divide the rest out, and then you're just like, okay, here, I'm cooking all these, this burger at once. So it is not glamorous. Um, but when you do that and like, let's say you took like three pounds of it and made it into Taco, you took three pounds of it and you're making that into a casserole. And then you took the other three pounds and you're a little lasagna with that or whatever. Okay. So now then you can see like, yeah, it wasn't glamorous doing that ten pounds of meat at a time. But now look at all the reward I have from it. I'm gonna need to rewind because meal planning to you. You're thinking even longer than the week. You're thinking. Oh, yeah. Wow. Like that would be so helpful to have a month almost to know that I have a lasagna in the freezer. I have tacos because I theme days. That's really helpful for me. So Taco Thursdays? Um, pizza Fridays. Monday is some really, you know, meat heavy. And then I make the kids choose one. Like, every week, the kids have to pick a meal. I'm starting to get into this, and I, and I noticed even myself saying half to instead of get to the kids, get to pick a meal. But I mean, I'll be honest, and I feel really kind of silly for not having thought this. Why couldn't I do more than one week? Duh. Okay, so my two pounds of hamburger that I lay out at the beginning of the week can now make it a lot easier for my life down the road. If I were to lay out even just five or eight or ten, and then it's in the freezer and I thaw it. Okay. Nikki. Well, we we said we were going to talk about efficiency. You just nailed it. That's amazing. I love that you mentioned about Jeremy helping out too, because I think that's important too. If you have a partner who's willing to, like, chip in. Um, like Bob. He would be honored if, like, I brought him a family pack of chicken breasts, and we're like, babe, can you grill all these? And I'll have them for, like, the week. Uh, our lunches. I'll put some in the. I'll shred some and put them in the freezer. Like he'd be like, oh, yeah, I'll. I would love to stand outside and grill these. And like, he loves because that's what men need to be able to, like, feed their families. And you know, that makes them feel good too. So it's it is it's I love that you said that. So do you plan at a month at a time or when do you sit down and make the meal plan then? Because I'm doing it on Saturday mornings watching cartoons or on the drive to church on Sundays? Yes, I definitely for us at home, I'm doing like a week at a time. But like for me and the jobs that I do and it is my job to like think ahead, I would I'll be sometimes thinking, you know, a couple weeks in advance for like catering jobs and stuff. But as far as home and like what are the girls eating and what are we having as a family? I'll usually have at least five meals in my, uh, arsenal of meals. Like I have the stuff on hand. I know I can put them together at any time. I'm always very flexible. Like tacos isn't going to work tonight because I don't have time to cut up that lettuce and tomato. So let's move that to Wednesday, where I know we don't have anything going on. And then Tuesday, let's get that lasagna out and we'll put it in. And then if you have an aversion to like, um, having like beef two nights in a row, then spread it out even more, you have to do what works for you. And I love that you talked about Casey's pizza, because that's what if you want to do Pizza Friday, then do Pizza Friday. Like who? You know, you need to give yourself permission to do that. And if you need a break from cooking, that's important, because I'm going to be honest with you, Casey. I eat Casey's pizza all the time. It's delicious. So that leads nicely into my next question is because I think sometimes working parents, moms especially because it seems sometimes like that role of finding what's for dinner gets defaulted to the mom. I get bored and annoyed. That was part of the reason why the kids are honestly asked every week. What's something that you want to be in in charge of? Kind of do you find yourself? I mean, you have a passion for serving people. Yes, that is one way through food. But you, when you do it for your job and your work and your career, do you find yourself maybe not having as much of a happier servant heart when you're doing it for your family? Oh yeah, I totally resonate with that. And I would say it's gotten better as I've healed, like my relationship with food and such. But, uh, just to know that, like, yes, it it takes time to meal plan. It takes money. Like you kind of got to put more money up front. Um, and it is just like you, you have to just view it as you're giving yourself the gift of, um, Time in the future, whether that be with your kids or whatever you're doing. That it. Um, make it easy for yourself. And that's what I think I try to do here. Um, because it is it's frustrating going and cooking or doing a job for like two hundred people and then like, oh, my family still needs to eat like, uh, like, so it is easy to get into that mindset of, ah, I have like food RA but I just, you know, I also those are the nights I even more rely on the frozen meals that I make or like, you know, whatever, whatever it be or rely on Bob like he's capable too, of cooking a meal. And I think if you do have a husband who's willing to help out, that is a perfect way to let them let them. I love it when you provided some strategies already about, you know, give yourself permission to order pizza or pop a frozen pizza on the pizzazz or in the oven. Do you have any other strategies? And I, I think sometimes listening to you describe how planning ahead like that is a strategy. I remember I dated a guy in college, and every night after the gym, he would go to the grocery store and get whatever he was going to make that night. And I remember being so frustrated with his misuse of time. Now, granted, again, Denise is controlling. But I also understand that when you plan, you're not wasting time. Like, okay, even if you knew for two nights what you were going to get. Now I am not because I know that there are women on this podcast listening right now being like, oh my gosh, I do that. No judgment, no shame. I'm impressed that you do it because it's so stressful. I remember like just going down so many aisles because there was an added stress there of, oh, I didn't I didn't figure this out before. And we put that pressure and guilt on ourselves. So do you have any go to Two strategies when life feels a little extra chaotic, or if they're wanting to maybe adjust the quote system that they currently have to be something different. Yeah, I am all about using time efficiently, and I resonate with what you said about, you know, you're living outside of town, so you make those trips to town count and you have to make sure you get all your ingredients you need because you ain't getting to go back. I love saving time where I can, especially in the kitchen too. Like I mentioned earlier, having large amounts of protein ready to go makes your life so easy. Uh, then you know you can just break them down for future meals and you're also helping your future self. Uh, that is one of the most powerful tools, I think is the protein. And then other than that is because you have that plan. Uh, yeah. Knock out your grocery shopping, knock out like what you need in advance, and then do some of your prep work ahead of time. Like if you know you're going to have, um, Philly cheesesteaks and, like, relish. So like, uh, cauliflower or, uh, carrot, celery and dip. Then cut those veggies like a few nights beforehand. Keep them in and like you're ready to go. Like, let's make this easy for myself. So I think just using your time efficiently and knowing planning that is also though having a plan for your week as well. So it kind of does go hand in hand with time management. I appreciate you explaining what relish means to you, because instantly I was like, you're going to put chopped pickles on your sandwiches. And I'm like, oh yeah, people that know what they're talking about call that relish for their sides. Duh. So I appreciate that. Uh, before we get deeper into food, relationships and ultimately eating disorders, what are some of your top favorite recipes to have at home or to make at home that are nutritious and yummy and good and work well with a fuller schedule, if you will. Oh, yeah. So I think we we said it tacos like. And they're so versatile. Like you could do actual tacos. You could do quesadillas. You could do little burritos, you can do oh it's endless. Like what you can do with some taco meat. Um, so that is just one that is just at least maybe once, if not once every two weeks. Uh, in our house, we're having tacos of some sort, like a flavor, whatever. Like that's happening. Uh, another thing that is just like a go to. We will do, um, a lot of just stir fries. So a bag of frozen, like, stir fry vegetables. And then you're made of choice, whether that be chicken or beef or, um, even the, the like the kielbasa sausages that you can just, like, slice up and throw it all on a sheet pan or do it in the skillet and get it doesn't have to be like an Asian flair. You can, um, you can sauce it with whatever you want. Or there's so many different marinades and recipes out there and it's all in one pan. You serve it up with either some rice or some noodles and there's your meal. So I think it just making it easy on yourself and realizing that, uh, not every meal is going to be like, oh, this is fantastic. This is spectacular. Um, like people like me, I'm even, I even eat things. And I'm just like, oh, we could have done better on that. Like, you know, it's just like, yeah, because it's the truth. Or you try a new recipe and you didn't love it. So you're like, okay, well, I know not to do that one again. I am pulling out my meal planning list right now because now I'm interested. I will also say I always have frozen peas or frozen corn in the freezer. I always have chicken nuggets because I don't know what I'm who I'm going to blame it on when the kids don't want dino nuggets anymore, But those are my favorite. And I have like French fries in there. Or sweet potato fries. Like I always have some sort of frozen thing. Mac and cheese. I always have those types of things to be quick and also if I really want them anyway. But if I want to spend a little bit more time, right. So just like this running list of chicken Alfredo cheeseburgers, sweet potato and sausage hash, egg roll in a bowl and you can mix it up with shrimp or chicken. Um, chicken Caesar wraps. I also oftentimes when you said cut up lettuce earlier for your tacos, I died a little bit because I was like, if it's not already cut up for me in a bag, I'm not doing it. Um, let's see. Meatballs, spaghetti, meatloaf, ham and cheese roll ups, tater tot casseroles. And I have no oh, man, at the moment of this, my Walmart delivery just notified me and said, your order has substitutions. Isn't that the worst? Time and time again, we'll Will say, I don't know what I did before delivery and or pickup, I don't. And I think that that's cool to be able to talk about, because that's not something that you want to that's not a negotiable for you. Like that is a non-negotiable. You are not changing that system. And yet you do other things that I'm like, oh my gosh, I can't believe. Like I would totally not automate that, you know what I mean? Like, and that's the beauty of living in community with one another and live and learning from one another and all of those fun things that you get to do when you live life together and you have these fun conversations and ultimately deep conversations, which leads us into there is so much societal pressure around food at any age. We've talked about this before, and can you share how your relationship with food has evolved over the years? Yeah, of course. Let's let's go there. Um, I don't I don't think it's news to anyone that our culture, um, has for years bombarded us with that, like, diet mentality or that, like, these foods are good, these foods are bad. Um, and I, I've always carried a little extra weight. Um, so it's that from even a very young age was just, like, nailed into me. Like, what you're eating is bad and your body doesn't look normal. And all these just thoughts behind food and what, uh, in my own relationship with food has gone from just a very negative, like, shameful place. And I've really, over the past five years, been able to, uh, transform that into more of a useful way of looking at food and realizing that it's fuel and not only for our bodies, but also it is for our minds and for our souls and for our hearts. So yeah, it's definitely it's definitely something that is a sensitive topic. So again, like if if you've ever had, you know, negative thoughts about food and eating and all that thing, just, you know, know that you're not alone. But there's also a different way to do things too. Yeah. Can you provide an example of kind of like what you used to say to yourself in your self-talk about food specifically? Yeah, yeah, I would say a lot of noise around, like what foods are bad or like a lot of noise around, um, just even like if you eat that, you will continue or you will look like this, like, and it's very like this is the only way, like very black and white thinking very, uh, this is the only way. Like, if you eat this, you will look like that. And that's why you look like that is because you ate this and it's just not true. Everything can be done in moderation. Yes, he can enjoy a chocolate chip cookie and chicken stir fry. We can have pizza and ice cream. Shout out to Shaq for the best ice cream on a Friday and not place guilt on ourselves. And yet, how do we stop? What was a turning point for you, Nikki? As I started working more with mom, more with food, more with the business, I would have like crippling anxiety going in and buying the amounts of food I needed at Sam's Club. Um, and then I would, like, have flashbacks to being a kid. Like going with my mom and buying, like, all this food, too. And I remember feeling embarrassment, um, by the food, like, thinking like other people. What were other people thinking like? Were they thinking my mom was like, buying that food for me? Or I would just have these crazy, shameful thoughts around it. And I think once I, like, really had to confront that because I was like, okay, if I'm going to do this job, which I I'm really, truly loving and I really am finding joy in, uh, how can I feel better about like, even just the shopping part? Because that was just creating all this anxiety for me. And it, uh, it just took like a lot of practice and a lot of healing. And, you know, therapy is great and there's just so many things that are there that we can rely on to help our own relationship with food, whatever that however that shows up for you. For me, at the time, it was just it was making it very difficult to even, like complete the jobs I needed to because I was like, I had to go buy this, now I have to go buy this now. And then it was just like, oh, if I keep buying the sugar, like, that's not good. Like, I'm I'm a bad person for serving all these people, sugar. You know, and you just get these thoughts and you're like, where in the world is this coming from? And it was like years and years of the, you know, just the things that we've heard that we believe to be true. It was like all that subliminal programming in my life that just kept, like, manifesting itself. So I think once I was just like, you know what? I'm not buying into this anymore. My life really, truly changed. Thank you for sharing. I can totally put myself in your shoes and know I bet I would have thought the same thing. You know, going grocery shopping. And because we're so many of us are recovering people pleasers, we consider what the eyeballs that we don't know are thinking. My mom Um is was will forever be one of the best bakers ever. And I'm not just saying that because she's my mom. She's phenomenal. And some of you who know her, you're like, yes, she is. So I love to think about from time to time. I was not chunky in high school. Sometimes, you know, if you ever see those memes, if you do, I always giggle a little bit that say like, man, if only fat me in high school knew what if was? How's it go, Nikki? Like if I if fat if that was how I defined fat man. If they only saw me now type of thing like, yes. You know, when you're in high school and you're thinking, oh my gosh, I need to be skinnier or I am too. My hips are too large. Man, I love, I love to have that body. But at the same time, that thought really doesn't enter my mind as much anymore. But it used to. And I love to joke about the fact of yeah, I mean, I wasn't especially looking back now. I was not overweight. Could I have toned things up? Sure, we all can. But I love to joke about the fact of like, my mom baked all of the time. It's a big deal that I didn't just eat all of the time because she's amazing. And I go back and I almost wonder now, is it because she enjoyed some of what she baked in front of us? Like she didn't bake it to give it. She enjoyed it. And I, I sometimes consider him like, man, that was really, really awesome of her. We are forever going to have meal planning and food be in our lives. It's something that's not going to it's not going away. The relationship that we have with food, eating disorders, doing the work, all of those things are going to be on our radar, whether it's as a parent or for ourselves. And you've shared some of the struggles around food already today, and we're going to go an extra layer because women deserve it. And you want to share a story that you haven't really talked about a lot before. And I'm honored that you want to share about the fact that you actually did have an eating disorder in high school. I'm going to preface this by saying I went to high school with Nikki. I had absolutely no idea. None. Because she showed up, as so many of us do, in a different way around different people. I was a chameleon. We've talked about how, you know, you adapted to fit what was needed. And this goes to show that all of us have struggles behind closed doors. So, Nikki, can you share a little bit about this eating disorder that you had in your past? This is a very sensitive subject. And if you know, also like if there's if you have been struggling with what you know is an eating disorder and there are avenues of help, there's avenues of, uh, things you can go down to, you know, see that path out. But, uh, yeah, definitely definite like binge eating type deal. And it was definitely, um, even in high school, too. It was, it not that it was a reason why, but it was just like there was some kid, you know, kids that would make fun of me or whatever. And I just decided I didn't want to eat lunch anymore. And so I didn't, and I just wouldn't eat at school. And so that, you know, you think about that and it's like, wow, I did that for three years of high school. And I'm like, everyone's relationship with food is so different. And the thoughts we have around food and through food and what it is and what it means are hardwired into our, uh, just our primitive beings. Uh, you know, food has always been around. We don't have to necessarily hunt or gather it anymore, but it is still surrounded with, like, thoughts of competition, you know, like, oh, I'm gonna eat this, you know? So it's like a lot of these just, like, hardwired traits like for survival are into our brains so much that we feel like we have to, you know, oh, let's I'm going to I'm going to feed myself because I might not get any later or, you know, it's just it is so hard wired into our brains. And I think once you have a better understanding of that, it's easier to be gentler with yourself when you're healing through it. The Huberman Lab podcast has a wonderful episode all about eating disorders and kind of the science behind it. We will link that podcast episode in the show notes, and I really do love the Huberman Lab podcast. Anyways, it's very science based when it comes to nutrition and wellness and health and all of those great things that so many of us really should learn about. And yet it's scary. It is scary. Let's talk about the power of Food. In regards to self-talk, I know that I spoke very, very poorly to myself when I was younger. I'm fat. Oh, this shirt makes me look fat. Oh, I look so big in this. Oh why, why why do I look ugly in this? And I ultimately went back to my mind of I'm not doing something right. Like I'm messing up. I'm eating too much of this. I'm not eating enough of this. Like, whatever the case might be. And I've never said this out loud. And when my mom listens to this, I know that she's going to text me. And so, mom, don't get mad at me. Don't get don't don't get me in trouble. But, Nikki, you and I've talked about this, right? Um, when I was in high school, I feel like I'm going to get in trouble. Here we go. When I was in high school, my mom had some sort of diet pill. She did? Yeah, it was a nineties mom thing. Okay, so it's not what it is now. She any weight she has lost or gained has purely now been around choice. She doesn't do those types of things anymore, and I honestly should probably now have a conversation about why she felt the need to do it then, because what are we underlying telling our kids? There were times when I saw her speak poorly about the way that she looked in the mirror as well, when she had no reason to. The same should have been extended to me, and yet I did not extend myself grace. So I'm deflecting from the story I need to tell. So I would remember if she wasn't home or sneaking some of her diet pills. I was fourteen, fifteen, sixteen and sometimes I would just take them in live time. Other times I would stick them in a baggie and take them with me. And I remember one time I must have taken too many because mom's like, where did these go? And I didn't say anything. And who's to say? I mean, obviously didn't mess me up too bad, right? I didn't have any physical effects, but mentally I thought I needed to take something to make it better. With no education. There's so much more education now around things when I don't want to go down that road of Glps and all of those types of things. Um, but what I want to go more so down is that I thought something was wrong with me, and I think it stemmed from food and in order because I wasn't, you know, educated into how to handle a relationship with food like you've talked about. I turned to that at the time. Not great. Not my smartest move, which I know other people have as well. And so what would you say to someone struggling with a disorder who might be silent or struggling with the self-talk that we're telling ourselves, which ultimately really is manifestation, right. So I, I would let them know that you're worthy of owning your own relationship with food includes your intention behind it, how you utilize it, how and when you want, need and, uh, wish to enjoy it. Uh, when I personally took ownership of that relationship, uh, I was able to release over thirty years of shame around food, uh, that I had been holding in about myself. That was passed from my mom. My mom never had anything good to say about her body, either. She also had diet pills that I also took like that. And I, and I hate to say Denise, even at a younger age, is what you mentioned. So that's what scares me, because I have girls, I have young girls and so and who I never who, you know what they never they never, never heard me say anything like that about my own body. They maybe used to like as they were younger, but then they are so sweet to act that to and to be like Nicki, you're beautiful or Nicki, you're like, look at you. Or look at this part of you, or look at that. And it's just so. Nourishing to hear that those things said, because it's like, this is proof that we still have so much work to do as a collective and as a culture around food, our relationship with food and the messages we're sending to our children about food and the way it relates to how we view and look at our own bodies, and that reflects onto others then because like when we're hard on ourselves and shaming ourselves, we we will see that and other people too. Or we'll, we'll assume like it's just thinking, like assuming like fat people are bad or you know what I mean? Like it's just ridiculous things like, like that where we make those associations somehow, some way we have. But this is what we've been taught. So we just it's like unlearning that and learning that we can own our own relationship with food and it doesn't have to be negative. That thought process of I'm eating this for my heart really resonated after you said that, because I know that the pan of brownies has absolutely no probably like. Benefit to my body. But man, if it didn't benefit my heart. There is a piece of chocolate right over here now. I'm very much looking to reward myself because food oftentimes is a reward. Oh, you did a great job at the doctor. We'll go get ice cream. Oh, you did wonderful at this. We're gonna go get chocolate. I'm gonna eat some of this chocolate. It's fabulous. By the way, uh, after I'm done here. And so that concept of, you know, food can be a reward probably isn't always helpful. But at the same time, it's going for my heart. And sometimes you need to eat for your heart, and that's okay. We could go deeper. You started at such a great level. Um, encouraging people, whether it's binge eating, whether it's bulimia, anorexia, concepts of association, whether it's like you said, I eat this and this happens, or I eat this and this doesn't happen. All of those are ultimately conversations that you either need to have with yourself or with someone else because it benefits you long term. You'll feel so much lighter when you can look in the mirror and speak kindly to yourself because you notice, oh, I have really great hair today. I think you referenced not too long ago the concept of like, hey, I'm not going to have it all together. My body's going to look different one day, one month than it will in a year. But man, my hair looks great today or my eyes are sparkly today. Get specific with yourself to compliment yourself so that that self-talk improves, which then maybe in turn will also help you have a healthier relationship with food. But how would you describe Nikki? What nourishment means to you today? Yeah. Today, nourishment is not only at the level of let's fuel my body. We're also using meals as connection time with our families and connection time with our friends, and connection time with whoever we share meals with. And that is so special. And it is one hundred percent. I chose to do a lot of this hard work we talked about today is like unwinding all these thoughts and misconceptions I had around like what food is and what it has to look like. And, you know, just learn how to be a little, a little gentler with ourselves and own that relationship we have with food. That's good. I couldn't I couldn't keep staring at this and not eat a piece of chocolate. It's phenomenal. Sea salt, almond bark. If you are wondering, with chocolate, dark chocolate. Okay, I digress. Obviously as you listen to Nikki speak about food and nourishment and meal planning and kitchen efficiency and all of these great things that help us as working moms not only to better serve our families, but also ourselves. She's so eloquent in being able to articulate her thoughts, which leads us really into a cool space, because Nicki is sharing her thoughts with you in her own way. Tell me how, Nicki, we're working on rereleasing our website and it's going to have a blog in there as well, where I'll be sharing recipes and stories and so much more. So we're very excited about that, especially with, you know, back to school around this time, be able to have a place to share these things with more people that have been wanting it. So we're excited. You are amazing. And the gift that you have to share, the tips, the tricks, all of these fun things you'll be able to find in this blog. You mentioned back to school time. The kids went back to school this week. I am excited for the routine and also that really helps me get in a routine as well of meal planning and making sure that I get a little space to breathe, enjoy the chocolate and provide for them in different ways and that is helped when you have fun things to look forward to, like meals or recipes to make. Because I get a lot of joy out of cooking in our home, and I have to know we're going to do like some lightning round questions. I have to know. Nikki, you cook a lot. You bake a lot for your career and for your people. What is your go to comfort meal? Vegetable soup. Uh, we make it. Yeah, I know right. I make two different ways. Like from each of my grandmas. Like, we know the recipe for each grandma. So it's like sometimes we're craving grandma Nissin's vegetable soup. Sometimes I'm craving this vegetable soup. And yeah, I'm it's so good, I love it. Tell me the differences between the two. Uh, one has. Why? Okay, the Grandma Nissin's recipe is what if anybody has had my vegetable soup or has ever purchased vegetable soup from us? That's what we have. Put little noodles in it. It's so good. The other one is more of, um. It has barley in it and fresh vegetables. And the other one uses more like mixed vegetables, like frozen vegetables. So that's the main difference. But they're both so good. That's like. That is my idea of a comfort meal. I need to try your soup because for me, I think of canned. I'll be honest. I think of cafeteria vegetable soup, like the mushy peas and the red thin sauce. And so I've never even made it. And listening to you to describe the fresh vegetables or the, you know, the roast. Or you could do noodles, like you said. I need to I need to consider. Well done. Thank you for exposing me to other things. Okay. What is one kitchen gadget that you live by? And then also one that you could, like, live without. Okay. Uh. Fish spatula. I love a fish spatula. They're the little thin, like metal spatulas. I use them for everything. There's probably some pans that you're not supposed to use them in, because metal on certain things might scratch it, but sometimes I don't care. And I'm just like, I'm gonna use this anyway because it's so they're so good and they're so good. Did you say fish spatula? Yes, that's what it's called. It's called a fish spatula. Why? Um, I know because it's probably for, like, to get it, like fish off of, like a pan or stuff. And fish is so flaky that you need a special kind of like spatula. But these are so, like, versatile. They're kind of a little bendy. Um, they're just nice for getting, like, eggs. Uh, just getting under things. And they. If you see one, if you have one, and I, I have to be honest, like that was when I picked up from the Pioneer Woman. I'm eating now because I'm hungry and we're talking about food. So what is something then that you could live without? Uh, hand like a actual hand mixer? I could, um, because I dread, like, getting it out, because I also have a stand mixer, and it's kind of like, depending on what I'm doing, I don't know, it's just like, do I want to get that out just to mix this up? Or it's just one of those things that maybe I don't necessarily dread getting out. It's funny because I think sometimes I use my hand mixer so that I can lick the batters. And now I've realized that I have to share the batters because there's two children that want to lick the batters, and there's only two things, and then I'm mad. So then I find myself Leaving batter in the bowl so that I can lick the bowl, and then they can have my batters. Nonetheless, I digress. Okay. Final question. My nose is itching. If you could invite three people, dead or alive, to have a meal with around your table, who would they be and what would you serve? Ooh. Okay, so I, um, I would say either of my grandma. Like both of my grandmas. So my dad's mom and my mom's mom. Uh, just because I, I didn't really I wasn't able to develop much of a relationship with them. So I would love to bring them. And then I would also bring my great grandma from my mom's side to the dinner table also. And just like, just to kind of learn, like where I came from more. And, uh, I it sounds like I've come from a strong lineage of women who love to cook and who, uh, enjoy serving people. I don't know. Probably just like my go to meal of what I serve. Everyone else is like like roast, uh, twice baked mashed potatoes, green beans, uh, lettuce salad. We'd have some kind of dessert, maybe Texas sheet cake. So. And then tea or lemonade drink. Fabulous, fabulous. And, um, ironically, I had that exact meal a couple of weeks ago when you catered my cousin's wedding, so yay! It was delicious. And I had so much. I guess it was wedding rehearsal. Nonetheless, I got to enjoy it and it was phenomenal. And when you leave here, listeners know that you are seen, you are heard, your frustrations are there, but yet there's a desire to do something about it. And Nikki is proof in that. As I close with that, Nikki, is there anything that you want to make sure that you leave people knowing about what we've talked about today? Of course. Uh, please know that you are worthy of owning your own relationship with food. It is safe to talk about your struggles with food. Uh, even though you might not feel safe sharing it with the person next to you. Go find that help. Like, there are people out here who are skilled and ready to listen to those thoughts that lead you in these cycles of shame and guilt and not feeling like you're doing enough. Uh, and we anything that I can do. Because I've walked it like I'm. I want to extend that to you. So there's lots of resources out there. You can connect with Nikki in our show notes, there's connection to her business Facebook and Instagram page, as well as her website and her personal accounts, if you at all interested, as well as the Huberman Lab podcast episode that she referenced as well. With that, I'm going to go make sure that my meal plan is set for next week, and I provide something in there that I am making for my heart, not for my hips, because now I'm officially hungry for brownies. So, Nikki, on that note, thank you for being here. And listeners, please know you are not alone and you can do hard things. Thank you for listening to the Working Moms Redefined podcast. It is not lost on me that you chose to spend time together. Thank you. Let's connect outside of this space on socials. We'd love for you to follow us on Instagram Facebook LinkedIn, Pinterest. We've got it all to connect with you. If you feel as if someone in your life could be impacted by this message, feel free to share it. That is the biggest compliment as we part ways together. Remember, you can do hard things.
