Untitled - July 7, 2025
00:00:00 Speaker: Hi, I'm Denise. Host of the Working Moms Redefined podcast. Let's join together as we lessen the hold of mom guilt in our lives, thrive in our careers, and raise great kids. You are doing enough. Let us boost your confidence today on this episode of Working Moms Redefined podcast. You took the time to tune in to this week's episode of Working Moms Redefined podcast, and I am so darn grateful. Thank you for choosing to invest into yourself, into your team, into your family, into your friends, whatever that might look like for you in this season of life. Thank you. Thank you for spending time together today. For those who might not know, I have the most beautiful opportunity to run several companies, one of which is a coaching business. A business life coaching business. And before we get into as to what we're actually going to talk about today that is stemming from that side of the business, I want you to know that if you stick with me throughout the rest of this podcast, it's a shorter one. Today, you are going to find ways to better show up for yourself, for your family, and for your team. How? Through a simple activity that you're almost. I can almost guarantee you're going to think, why didn't I think of that? That's okay. I have removed that from you. From me need, from wanting to make you feel really awesome about yourself. Today I am rocking my red glasses that match my red mike. If you are watching us on YouTube, you're able to see the setting that we are in today because we're in our we're in my coaching office. This is where I get to work with one on one business executive, nonprofit Leaders, working moms, working parents like you. And over the weekends, I got to spend some time with my very best friends and we will start there. It is hard to find good friends. I have been blessed with relationships in my life. That is not the case for all of you and that's okay. It is going to be harder for me to relate to that. And yet I still want to wrap you up in a hug. My sister and I often have that conversation is because she is not a super peopley person, and she will be the first to admit that. And so we talk about how her and I are each other's person. And there is I know one person in your life that you are like, oh man, I can't imagine what my life would be without him or her. When we are talking about these activities and we're basing that on the home later in our discussions, think of this person that you just thought of that just came to mind. Keep that person at the forefront. When I get to work with business leaders and execs and nonprofit EVs and all of these amazing people, sometimes we are fearful to know what our team members, our kids, our families actually think of us. From my perspective, why don't we ask? And that leads us into a fun relationship building activity that you can do tomorrow that is not only great for the team, but also for yourself and individual team members in boosting their confidence. When I get to go into these organizations and work with groups facilitations after, we don't often do this on the first meeting, but after we get to know one another a little bit better, there's an activity that I love to do when I am describing this. Listeners, see how I can fit in your season of life. See how maybe it can even fit in your organization, how it can fit in your family or in your friends group. It's just the best. So what we do is we set cups in front of team members. We're going to use the business setting as an example. Red solo cups if you will. Slips of paper are in front of you. And a pen. Go ahead and write your name on the cup. And so you have your red solo cup with your name on it, written in a permanent marker, and blank white slips of paper in front of you. Now, if you are down the road, when I further explain this, you could always type these up ahead of time. If you don't want someone to know your handwriting. It's a dynamic that I've had someone ask, so I always offer that up as an opportunity. But basically what you are going to do is each person is going to be in the hot seat for a hot minute. And most oftentimes than not, people don't love that. Me. Sign me up I. You want the spotlight? I'll take it. Give it here to do good with. I want to make that very clear. When the spotlight is given to me, it is to do good things. That's where that selfless mentality comes from. And we're going to be able to see that. I bet you are a little bit more selfless than you give yourself credit for through this activity. So what happens is the person in the hot seat, if you will, the persons who've red solo cups name is on it. They don't do anything. And for 2 to 3 minutes each person in that organization writes something kind how they feel around this person, or a kind attribute that they admire on this slip of paper. And then you fold it up nicely and put it in the hot seats, red solo cup. Then you move on to the next one so the next person does it. They sit there most of the time uncomfortably because, oh my goodness, there's so many nice things that people are saying about me in this cup. And as you go around the table, everyone taking a turn in the hot seat while the other people write something kind or what they experience or how they feel around this person. You then end up with several slips of paper in your cup. Once everyone is finished the activity, you then dump out your solo cup and you read through these amazing things that people think of you, whether it's something they learned from you, something they admire about you, something that they think is just so unattainable for themselves that they wish that they could spend more time with you to figure out how you are that way. You learn a lot about how you show up at work now, because this is a more positive reinforcement of behavior activity. Hopefully there are people who follow the directions, and this is not a time for you to write down what you're annoyed by this person in. And then you have a reflection piece of all of the awesome things that your coworkers think of you. I take it a step further, and then you can tape all of those on a piece of paper. You can type them up. You can keep them in a safe spot and pull something out of that red solo cup when you're having a bad day. But it's a reminder. It is a constant reminder of how you are in that location, in that environment, if you will. And it is such a great way to facilitate conversation between an organization. So then once we as a team and I'm facilitating this discussion, we go around and you pick 1 or 2 that you really enjoy and you talk about it and you, you maybe say why that surprised you or why you believe this. And it allows conversations to happen organically, all simply beginning from saying the kind thing. Because when you take time to build relationships with your team, growth happens. And so I tell you that because I've seen magic happen around a table, and I want you to experience that as well. Now, it doesn't have to stop in the workplace. You can either present this idea to your team lead, or do it yourself. But I take it home with me. We do it around the table from time to time with our kids, and so each person gets a red solo cup and we go through that activity again. And then you have to tell me, kids, why you are surprised by something and what's your favorite thing out of that? And then you have some really great conversation and confidence boosters for, in our case, a six and an eight year old. When I watched Sydney open up the word that I had written about her, the word decisive, she was surprised. And then I was surprised that she was surprised. I said, Sydney, after I had to explain what decisive meant clarification purposes, I said, Sydney, why are you surprised by this? And she said, because I struggle making decisions. She did not say that she I have a hard time making decisions. Right. And from an outsider looking in, do I see her go back and forth? Sure. But I didn't think it was hard for her because ultimately she always landed on a decision and I was kind of jealous, if I'm being honest, of my eight year old. So it was an opportunity to talk through that with her. Simply from utilizing some of what you are probably already doing at work, at home, do it. And yet be ready for what people might say about you. Because the next step in this team building, if we go back to work, and I might suggest doing it at home as well, offer up the opportunity for people to say, what frustrates you that I have done or that I do, or that what's a quality that is frustrating? You have to be humble. You have to be open. You have to be ready and accepting of hard Conversations. Is it easy? No. And yet, it provides an avenue for people to have these conversations that maybe have gotten pushed down a little bit more than they would prefer. Because think about it. If someone does not feel comfortable coming and talking to you about things, one we need to talk about why? But second, this allows them to do so in a private way, should you want to. For me, I'll be honest. Jeremy does not like how I live and breathe my calendar. And so we've talked about that. Started from a cup conversation one of my employees doesn't love sometimes how I. What had she said? She doesn't love how I check check on things. Which in the beginning, right. Like I had to. But that goes back to that. Letting go of control to let others Other shine? Yes. Is it a little different because they're service based businesses? And I want to make sure that we provide the absolute best service. Sure. But she has worked here long enough and has proven time and time again that she is fully capable. And so she looked at that as she wasn't doing a good enough job, whereas I looked at it as I want to make sure that we provide the very best for the client, and I would be doing this if it was me as well. We didn't talk about it until then, so it allows an opportunity for even more connection. It's beautiful. I can hear in the back of my mind one of my best friends saying, that's really risky, Denise. That can open up a can of worms. Why can I hear him saying that? Because he did. He 100% did. We got together with some of our very best friends recently, and as I was very much looking forward to this time together, I was thinking, we have been friends for 20 plus years. Yes, 15, 20 years. Why don't we do this kind of activity together? Now, we did it a little different. What I did is I set out a text to each person individually and said, hey, describe these seven other people in one word. It was so darn fun. And so each person provided one word which which was difficult. I will tell you that as to how they viewed all of our friends. So I put all of them together on a cute little card. I printed them off. I recently have a laminator as well, and the organizational person inside of me that is just screaming from excitement laminated all of these cute little cards that had seven words as to how your friends view you. It was powerful. It was beautiful. And there's always one right? There is always one. I have one friend that said. I mean, his texts were laughable because he is going to always be the person that questions the intent. I might say it comes from being burned a few too many times, but his response was this is a minefield, both on the labeling and receiving ends. This is a group of people with the highest potential of hurting me, and I'm not struggling to know those answers, nor do I want my words to hurt anyone. I'll do it. But this feels dangerous. And then he said, you're playing with fire. You're on the YouTube channel. What does this mean from friends reference. I'm playing with fire, baby. He hasn't experienced or hadn't experienced anything like this before. His organization didn't do team building, so without a doubt. Also, if he hadn't said anything inappropriately, I would have totally changed it to better benefit the other person, while also explaining that however, the trust has to be built. The trust is there. That's why he said he ultimately did it. But I can understand his questioning and I provide that questioning because he's not wrong. Don't tell him I told him that. He's not wrong, though. Every organization should have that in the back of their minds. Oh, we're playing with fire. This is risky. It is. It is risky. And yet, what happens when you stay on the other side of risk? Connections can get lost. Walls can get built. And what happens on the latter part? Well, you get even more growth. You have a higher ROI. You have a better work environment. Apply that to your home and to your friends. And I can guarantee you people are not as hard on you as you are on yourself. And so now I have a very cute little piece of slip of paper that my friends for the past 1520 years now view me after. There was another person in that group that wasn't part of our original. They were just hanging out, right? And after they read some of these words, one person asked me like, oh, hey, do you believe all of those things that were just read? And rather than go deep into wait, wait, wait, wait, do you not think that they did I went to I do, I do think that sometimes, you know, I can be fearless. I want to make sure it's very clear. Is there no fear in my decision making? Is there? Am I scared? Well, yeah, but I do it anyway. You do hard things. Where do you think that comes from? I gotta tell myself that you can do hard things or you can do things. Scared? Does it mean that you're not fearless? I'm strong, I'm inspiring. I'm empathetic. Those were words that came to their minds. And I've done this activity many a times with masterminds and it just hits different when it's the people that have almost known you the longest. So if your parents are still alive, or if you have really close friends that have been that since middle school or high school, do this, do this. It is so fun to see my friends send me photos of where they put their little note cards. And don't be hesitant to be the person that takes the initiative that makes the plans. Because one day this will all come back to you. If you're in that mentality of, well, I wish somebody would do this for me. I used to be there. I used to be there until I decided to just be the person that does it, because I get such joy out of it as well. And you will never regret seeing yourself in the hard moments of your days from someone else's viewpoint. Some days we need that right in the heart of parenting. You are so powerful. You do amazing things. Let someone else recognize that in the moments that you can. This team building activity, whether it's at work, at home, or outside of the home, is monumental. And the ability to do so while also keeping in mind you're playing with fire. And to that, I encourage you to say you're right, but I'm not going to get burned because you can do hard things. Thank you for listening to the Working Moms Redefined podcast. It is not lost on me that you chose to spend time together. Thank you. Let's connect outside of this space on socials. We'd love for you to follow us on Instagram Facebook LinkedIn, Pinterest. We've got it all to connect with you! If you feel as if someone in your life could be impacted by this message, feel free to share it. That is the biggest compliment as we part ways together. Remember, you can do hard things.
