Untitled - June 23, 2025
00:00:00 Speaker: Hi, I'm Denise. Host of the Working Moms Redefined podcast. Let's join together as we lessen the hold of mom guilt in our lives, thrive in our careers, and raise great kids. You are doing enough. Let us boost your confidence today on this episode of Working Moms Redefined podcast. An interesting topic came up the other day in a one on one coaching setting, and I wanted to bring the topic here. Hey, it's Denise and what a pleasure it is to get to join you for another episode of the Working Moms Redefined podcast. Oftentimes as business people, we are always working toward something, whether that's at work or at home. There's always something that we are working toward. Why? Because we want to feel ultimately like we're doing a good enough job, I would say. Where does that thought process, thought process come from? My own. and the multiple clients that I work with and have gotten to work with over the years. We want to make sure that we're doing a good enough job. How do you measure that? How are you going to look back, let's say, at the end of this year in December, and look back and feel a sense of enoughness? How can you look back at your day before you go to sleep and say, I did a good enough job today? Well, first of all, you have to make time to actually do it. And two, how are we going to track it? How are we going to measure it? John Maxwell and we've talked about this before. Right. He talks about this concept about the end of December every two weeks. At the end of the year, he looks back at his calendar and he sees what it was filled with. And he evaluates how he feels when he views what it was filled with. I implemented this as I reflected back on last year, and it was very, very successful. Festival this year. I made some adjustments and I can only imagine that it's going to feel good at the end of this year to reflect. And yet, right now, I still feel as if I could be doing less at work to do more with the kids. We're in this season right now where I don't want to miss anything. And of course, you're told that time and time again, oh, this goes so fast. Don't miss it. I'm like, it's starting to get in my head a little, maybe too much. But to me, if I define what enough actually is, then I'll be able to measure a good enough job. Okay, so as I go down this thought process of how do I define enough? Is it a feeling? Is it data? What is it? I then look very bare bones level of well, what is actually enough to pay the bills to Pay for the lifestyle that we currently live. Because I do not want to go into that scarcity mindset of, okay, we only make this and then you're only going to be able to pay this and can't do this and blah, blah, blah. Money is energy. It transfers. What about I love the current lifestyle that we live. I don't want to change it. It's nice. I've worked hard. Jeremy has provided a level of stability that we would not have had if it wasn't for him. So maybe for this season of life right now, I measure enoughness as if I want to keep this current lifestyle. What financial dollar amount is that? Okay, I like this thought process. What is enough? Ultimately, if I love to provide experiences and that is where a lot of joy and fun comes from with my family, I want to make sure that those stay consistent. So at the beginning of this year, February 1st, I'll never forget it. I sat on the couch while the kids were watching TV. It was a Saturday morning, and I went through all of the expenses in January, and I said as I tallied them up, oh my goodness, I drink a lot of farmhouse coffee. Nonetheless, that's for my heart and soul, not for my wallet. I digress. So what is enough? Again, that abundancy mindset of I'm not going to necessarily change anything unless I really have to, but I want to live here. And so with Jeremy's income and with mine, what is enough? What allows us to live at this lifestyle? As I tallied up the bills, I tallied up because commission. You just never know. I tallied up our income, and I compared. And then I realized that in order to live the lifestyle that we need, it's this dollar amount for me. Okay. So then, because I do love math. I said, how many advertising clients is that? Because we do have an advertising business. It's called Tedco Media. This is where this whole entrepreneurial spirit started. And I get teary thinking about people that we get to serve with that advertising business. We focus on online advertising and creating that relationship with customers beyond your door, because people do business with people who care. So how can we show people that you care? Again, you can obviously tell that that is a large passion of mine, and it is my baby. And it has been a way for me to provide for our family and back into the community in ways that I could not have planned for. Shocker. So I reduced that income and then I said, okay, how many coaching clients would I need to have to reach this dollar amount? That technically is enough to live with within the means of where we currently do so in our lifestyle. When I got to that, I saw why. Why am I pushing so darn hard. Day in and day out. When ultimately I don't need more right now. I don't need more right now to live the lifestyle that we are living. And right now I know that I want more time and more experiences with our kids rather than more clients, more speaking engagements, more coaching calls. Do I love to help and serve people? Absolutely. And that is what has gotten me into this place. This place of I don't know how to choose sometimes. I don't know how to choose. Be where my feet are and be okay with the feet that are in those shoes. Are is hard. It's hard sometimes. You can definitely tell. I say the things that I need to hear myself. And so once I defined enough and I looked at the current book of business and I was like, Denise, why are we grinding so hard. Well, because I don't know how not to. Ultimately, I don't know how not to. And yet, when I logged that number at the top of my to do list that I look at every day now, am I still going to do every job? That's not even the right word task within the businesses that I do to the utmost of my ability? Absolutely. But has that definition of enoughness with a financial number next to it for this season of life? Has that helped me be able to pass on some things that I would have done, because I didn't want to disappoint somebody, or I didn't want to not get the opportunity next year. Absolutely. Absolutely. Because for some reason, I must have been telling myself that you have to do this. You have to do this because what if they don't think of you? Those examples that I just gave, what if they don't think of you again? What if this opportunity doesn't come around again. That's a scarcity mindset. What if we viewed this as I'm going to say no now to do what I want to do, which I have defined as investing into this season of life with our kids. More so. What if choosing that ultimately pays off more so down the road? What if we looked at it like that? What if we looked at saying no, gives our central nervous system a little bit more peace and rest to function at a higher capacity? I'm still working on that. When you define enough, you move the goalposts, and I'm not saying you move them further away. You actually prove to yourself that one they're either more attainable or two, you're already doing it. You're already doing it. You're already doing it. Let me be your biggest cheerleader and say when you define enough, you can take a breath. you can cheer yourself on. And if you're not going to, I absolutely will. So when I keep this number of enoughness at the top of my to do list, it helps me categorize the timeline a little bit more. Are there always going to be things that you could do more of, or to or with you, but you know it. You know just as well as I do. But timing is important. You know that. They say timing is everything. Okay, well, is right now the time. To do what? Right. You get to fill in your own blank, but not until you define what is enough for you. I know myself well enough to know that when I define enough, that is not going to make me lazy. That is not going to make me stop grinding forever. That is not going to make me. Slow down in the way in which is a negative thought process. I know myself well enough. I trust myself well enough. So if that is not you, that is another conversation. Remember, there is an episode we did about accountability. Hold yourself accountable to know that you defining enoughness is a weight so that you can transition that energy and serve it in a better or different way. That's what I needed to do at the beginning of this year and it has helped. Am I where I want to be? No, no. And when I say no in regards to where I want to be because I still have my calendar a tad too full, it's okay. I am telling people that inquire about coaching that it's about a month and a half waiting, and that's okay. If I have someone ask if I can do something the next day, that's a hard no. I'm not going to try and fit because Fridays are the day that I don't take appointments. Do I get some computer work done during rest time? Yes. Do I sneak a couple emails in? Maybe when they're swimming and I'm not going to get yet in because we have somewhere to go that night? Absolutely. But I'm going to protect that time because I now know what enough is. So I didn't keep a budget before I felt it. Now, has that always been the case? Absolutely not. So take the time. Define what enough is for you and your family and keep that number tucked away. Tucked away. And if that number is not where you want it to be, higher or lower, who is the person that changes that? You are. And you can do hard things. Thank you for listening to the Working Moms Redefined podcast. It is not lost on me that you chose to spend time together. Thank you. Let's connect outside of this space on socials. We'd love for you to follow us on Instagram Facebook LinkedIn, Pinterest. We've got it all to connect with you! If you feel as if someone in your life could be impacted by this message, feel free to share it. That is the biggest compliment as we part ways together. Remember, you can do hard things.
