Untitled - June 9, 2025
00:00:00 Speaker: Hi, I'm Denise. Host of the Working Moms Redefined podcast. Let's join together as we lessen the hold of mom guilt in our lives, thrive in our careers, and raise great kids. You are doing enough. Let us boost your confidence today on this episode of Working Moms Redefined podcast. Thank you for spending time with us on the Working Moms Redefined podcast. What a pleasure it is to get to pour into all of you and empower working moms to remember that mom guilt only exists if we give it power, so that we can raise good kids and thrive in our careers even more. We love learning from other women who have experienced these feelings of maybe feeling not enough, and how they've worked through those and never overcome those. And one person that I cannot wait for you to learn that from is Carrie Roberts. And Carrie is on with us today. She has a really cool and beautiful story about how she transitioned from that C-suite executive who really traded in the skyscrapers that so many of us picture to county gravel roads. She launched her own business from home. And Carrie is the founder of Salt and Light Advisors. It's a people, operations and HR firm serving small to midsize businesses. Better yet, she realizes the importance of having wide open spaces and so her and her husband, with their 13 year old son, live in Missouri on 140 acres. They live on a farm. They have Golden Labs that I'm sure just greet them the moment they drive up that hill. And she's walked this journey personally alongside so many of us, and it is a pleasure to get to have Carrie to see and remember the wonderment and joy and really recognize the growth that happens when you lean in. So, Carrie, thank you for joining us. Yeah, thanks so much for having me. And what a fun intro. Well, it's a cool story to tell, and I want to really open the floor for you is to. Carrie, tell us about yourself, where you came from, who you are. Lead us that way. Yeah. So I grew up actually about five minutes from where I live right now. And, um, that's how I ended up finding this little slice of Ralls County, Missouri, in northeast, uh, northeast part of the state, but grew up on a farm and, um, then graduated from a small rural high school, went and played college basketball for a couple of years, and then ended up landing in Columbia, Missouri, and got my undergrad and then did my graduate work and all focused in business. And when I first started, I thought I was going to go into English and I was going to go into the J school at Mizzou and all of that. And I met with an academic advisor that really changed the trajectory. Uh, she said, do you want to be a teacher? And I was like, no, I actually don't really, I, I know that this is like blasphemy for women to say, but I actually don't love being around children that much. Um, and that includes adult children sometimes too. And so I was like, I know I don't want to be a teacher. Uh, and so she said, you might want to consider doing something else instead of going into English. What else are you interested in? And I was moving toward grammar and rhetoric. And I said, business is really interesting to me. And she said, that's perfect. And I've been on the business track ever since. I love the vulnerability in saying things that sometimes don't get talked about. And it's different when they're your own kids. So the fact that you really realized then that if I have an English degree, I'm probably going to be teaching, and that might not be up my alley. So what do you do through your business? Salt and light advisors. So we're an HR and operations consulting firm. And there's three primary ways that organizations come to us and do business with us. Some of them are fractional based, so we might spend a half a day a week, or a full day a week working on their business. Some of them are project based, so maybe they just want their performance review system revamped, or they need a hiring strategy. Or we do a compensation data study. So a focused project or we've got communities where that's a little bit more affordable. It's not 1 to 1, it's one to many. So I'll have groups of ten business leaders who are in a community with me. We're actually launching our next one in July, but that one makes it a little bit more affordable. It also helps with networking across businesses, but I teach inside of that community and then they've got live Q&A with me as well. Retreats in that and, um, all kinds of ways for them to learn and grow. That's amazing. And we learned this from personal experience. And so can you kind of share how you transitioned from a C-suite executive to running your own business? And if I remember correctly, you were from like, you did some of this in the West Coast and then you moved to Midwest, right? So one of my, my last client or actually my last employer that I had was on, um, on the coast, and I traveled a lot. I had about 60% of my travel. So I was a VP of operations for an M&A firm that bought insurance agencies and then helped them with operational efficiency. So I was running the operations side of things for a region, and it was a coastal region. Um, but the way I really transitioned was I was a COO for an insurance agency, um, a shareholder, and we sold a majority share of the business, and I had never dreamt of going out on my own, even though now, you know, looking back, I'm like the path just literally laid out before me. Um, but I had never thought about that. And when we sold majority share within a year, I was like, this is not a long term fit for me. And I had thought this was I mean, I was a part, you know, a shareholder. So I never thought I would leave until I opened my eyes and realized, you know, I'm 40. This isn't the best fit for me. I've got a lot of runway left, and so what am I going to do next? And so I cashed in my shares and that afforded me a little bit of space. And so I took five months off, spent a few of those weeks in Israel, which was an amazing journey. And through that time period of the five months off, I was like, oh my gosh, I'm going to start my own business. I, I feel like I can do this. Well, I got the offer from that M&A firm and it was a pretty sweet deal. So I took it. And I've always been really financially motivated. And so I don't take for granted that most women aren't in C-suite titles. And I don't take for granted that most women don't make half a mil or a mil a year. And so I was like, this is the seat that I'm called to sit in. Not all women get to do this, and I'm grateful for it. And within six months of being in that organization, I was like, there it is again. I was supposed to start my own business. So I approached that firm and said, I love you guys. I can do this work for you. From a fractional perspective, and you could be my first client. Like, what do you say? And they said yes, which I'm grateful to them. Um, I still keep in touch with that organization, but I went on my own, took them as my first client, and started building the book of business. And honestly, it's been a rocket ship ever since. Oh. That's amazing. Do you remember how hard it was to walk into that room and say, I'm ready to leave? What went through your head? I felt like I was crazy. I mean, when when you when you believe in yourself like I do, you realize that there's a high probability, a very, very high probability that no one else on this earth believes in you in that same way. And so when you say that out loud, like I have something unique and different than anything else in the marketplace, and I believe that I should carve this out for myself, that is a bold statement. It's a really bold statement. And I think just like I, um, I think about childbirth, like, yeah, it happens all the time, but it's a big freaking deal to push a baby out into this world. I feel the same way about business. Like, I know that there's business owners everywhere, but it's a big deal to say, you know what? I have something to offer that I think either no one else does or no one else does it as good as I would. And so it's time for me to bring it. Um, and that's that's a huge statement. So. Yeah, it felt huge. I, I wanted to be declarative, but I also wanted to be like. I mean, we'll see. You know what I mean? Like, um, I'm going to give this thing a go. I can always come back if I wanted to, you know, like, there's those thoughts, but I also know I'm a person who goes a hundred miles an hour. You can't really say you're stepping into the space and then meekly step into the space because you're not going to gain clients. You're not going to gain market share, you're not going to go anywhere, and you're going to be just like the rest of the statistics of new businesses that fail within the first five years. So if you're doing it, you have to freaking saddle up and do it and declare it. And I think that's where a lot of people fall short. How do you help build that belief in yourself and how did you do it for you? I to me, it was like built on 20 years of repetition. So I had been doing this COO, HR director, VP of HR, VP of operations. Like I've been doing it for 20 years. And I'm not saying you can't go out on your own without that level of experience, but I know for me, I felt like while I hadn't reached some pinnacle, I don't think I ever will. I at least have a hill to stand on. I had some credibility to stand on. I had a well nurtured business network to stand on. I had a name to stand on, and a way that I had presented myself in business for over 20 years. And so I certainly think you can be fresh and new and get to the market. But for me it came from. I had a lot of confidence in the reps that I had put in over the years. If you're watching this on YouTube, you will be able to see Carrie does not look like she should have 20 years of experience. She's absolutely well, I'm in my mid 40s. Yes. When you think about taking that next step, right. If if by chance you know, someone doesn't have that 20 years experience. I had ten when I left for mine. It built a level of confidence that is hard to break. It's almost as if you have a backup plan in you, not necessarily like you mentioned. Like, yeah, I could always go back, but it's like you have built a belief in the fact of like, I can do hard things. However, it's still very hard. And so what advice might you give to those moms who are considering leaving or stepping away from the traditional or that corporate business structure to start their own business? Yeah, I would say do some deep searching beforehand. Understanding your why, understanding that if you don't go all in then the business isn't going to succeed. So if you're just like, I'm going to give it a shot, the odds are so high that it's just not going to go anywhere. And that's just the reality of it. When I hear people saying they're working off the corner of their desk on anything, and I talk to business owners every day who are doing HR off the corner of their desk, and they wonder why things aren't going well. It's because it doesn't have your full attention. And so I do fully believe that you can start something while you're somewhere else for financial stability. I'm not saying that, but I'm saying when it's time to go all in, you have to go all in and you have to be willing to say, I don't care if my friends don't like hearing about this on social media. I don't care if my voice doesn't match everyone else's. You have to really have that, like deep rooted faith in what it is that you're doing. Because honestly, if it's half baked, then it's going to have to liver. Oh, I like that. If it's half baked, it's going to half deliver. Beautiful. When you did make this jump and this transition, how has that impacted or did it impact your marriage and your parenting of your now 13 year old? Yeah. So I actually thought one of the main reasons why I didn't want to start my own business was I thought I would get out of balance. Um, my father is an entrepreneur, and my mom was a stay at home mom for the majority of my childhood. She went into the workplace when I was in my teens. And so, um, I had this perception based off of the home that I grew up in, that entrepreneurship was out of balance and that came from, you know, just loving comments, but still little comments like, oh, your dad's dinner is going to be cold or oh, a client just pulled in. We can't ever have dinner on time or, you know, like, we can't necessarily rely on your dad to come to that track meet or whatever, where it's deer season. So, you know, our Saturdays. So I just always, like, got my dad's taxidermist, by the way. So the deer season thing. Um, so I always thought if you own your own business, your family sits on the back burner. And so I'm always going to work in someone else's business so I can maintain balance. And this might not be the case for everyone, but I was so upside down working for other people, absolutely sacrificing my health, sacrificing my time, sacrificing who I wanted to be as a wife, sacrificing who I wanted to be as a mother, doing all of my social life around networking for that business and balls and galas and what we donated to. Like I was literally the walking billboard for, especially when I was COO for the organization. But in all of my roles, I've always been like that. I go all in. I don't do well with balance, to be honest, like I have to be really passionate about what I'm doing and when I am, I'm upside down in it. And so it was so ironic when I was like, okay, I'm going to go out on my own. And I, you know, I pep talk my husband and my son like, hey, these first couple years, they're going to be so hard. And are you all ready for that? Like, is this, is this what the family can commit to together? Because this is going to be really hard. Since I've started my own business, I've lost £50. I'm healthier than I've been in years. I look like I'm aging in reverse. I have more balance. I sleep over eight hours a night. Almost every single night. I exercise. Every day. I get sunlight like I am balanced now because I prioritize myself. And I know that's not the case with everyone, but because I was so burnt out and because I'd been so upside down for 20 years and other people's businesses, I was like, I'm not. Why would I do? Why? Why would you create a business for yourself that you hate? That doesn't make any sense. I could just go work for someone else and be micromanaged. So why create a business that you don't want to show up for? It makes no sense whatsoever. So I just made sure that my company is one that I'm proud to work for. The life that you have created ultimately should be one that you want to show up for too. And that's the really cool part. Listening to you is, like you said, it's almost like you believe in that work life integration versus then finding a balance. 100% air work life balance is like a big you know, everybody talks about it in the HR realm. And I mean, I'm gracious, I don't correct people. But when I talk about it and on my podcast and in my language with my clients, I always say like there is no balance. One thing when one things up, it's a, you know, like it's a tilt, it's a seesaw. When one thing is up, the other thing is a little bit down. I don't mean like dropping it or it's not important to you anymore, but everything cannot be at 100% all of the time. I try to be 100% at work while my son's at school. When I'm in a track meet, I don't answer emails, you know, like I try to find that, but it is truly integration. It all exists at all times. So cool. We have talked about on this podcast about how there's different seasons of life and, you know, summer vacation, summer break when the kids that is more of a heavier mom season as it should be. December is heavier, mom, because around the holidays we're in those like you said, seasons can be days, seasons can be weeks. I love the concept of integrating and looking at the week and the day with like, how can I incorporate and really set up healthy boundaries like you've talked about? I, I can guarantee you, I think back to earlier this week, I answered emails at the park, and you put in a healthy boundary so that you were then allowed to say, When I'm at a track, though, my phone is not work, I'm not working. And that takes that takes accountability and discipline. It does, but I look at it very similarly to I'm a person of strong faith. And I think if we look at, you know, in the faith culture, especially in Christian culture, are you a Sunday Christian or are you a Christian? Are you a Christ follower? And I look at my work and my motherhood and me being a wife the same way. Like you're that all of the time, so don't act like you're not. I spent a lot of years in corporate. I nursed for two years. When I had my son. It was a I wanted to. I knew he was going to be my one and only, or at least felt very confident of that. I got two stepdaughters, and so I was like, he's going to be my only biological child. This is my one option. Nursing for me came easy. I know I'm I'm fortunate in that sense. So I nursed for two years. I didn't bring that up. I worked around men all the time. I never told them, like when I was pregnant and throwing up every day for the first 18 weeks of my pregnancy, I would literally throw up in my office in my trash can and then accept the knock at the door and take my next meeting. I just wouldn't even tell anybody what was going on. And I don't want that for me and I don't want that for women. I don't want that for anybody. I don't want you to anybody to have to live a life where they don't get to be who they are. I went through a lumpectomy in 2019 and I worked the next day. I just acted like everything was fine. And when I have been going through a healing process for a really long time, but as I've navigated through that, I'm like, hey, that was traumatic, and I did it to myself. I, I'm not blaming the men that I worked with or, you know, any of that. It wasn't like that. It was literally the expectation that I put on myself to succeed in what I thought success had to look like. And I've just I've been working really hard to unlearn that. And I still make a ton of money in my business. I'm still very passionate. I still, you know, I took four flights in 24 hours last week. I mean, I'm still very busy, but I just look at my life in a different way now. How would you help or encourage those listening to do that for themselves? I think first and foremost, like finding your spark in life, like finding your passion. I my my passion just like oozes out of my myself. And that's because I know what I love. I know what's important to me. And I've done a lot of deep work to learn what that is and what I'm willing to sacrifice for and what I'm not willing to sacrifice for. And once you get in alignment with yourself, everything just starts popping off. I mean, it's amazing how when you get into your healthy body and when you get into your healthy mind and you say, like, I'm not willing to sacrifice that again, how everything else fits more appropriately, it's not I'm not going to say it's easy, but it's not near as hard. It's not near as arduous to make your life work anymore. So I would say like find what it is that you're passionate about. And maybe through that work you find out. I'm trying to be something that I'm not. I mean, that's highly possible. Or maybe you realize I'm my priorities aren't in alignment with who I really want to be. And the vision of marriage, or the vision of motherhood, or the vision of being a businesswoman or whatever that is. It's either worth it to me at all cost, or it's not what I thought. And I need to stop chasing something that I don't really care about. Really putting a mirror up and giving yourself permission to look at who you authentically are and who you were made to be, and leaning into that. It's not easy. The work that you have done is very hard work, but yet you're on the other side of it and now you know the benefits. And you can help other individuals like myself here and learn from you, which is so it's so empowering to know that it's never too late. It is never too late to change. And and I think that's one thing that I love, as I was reading about you and learning, is that you have a desire to spread and help those who you were very similar in that nature to where you have a hack that allows you to manage both work and parenting responsibilities. What is that? My big my biggest thing, and it's going to be boring because everybody knows about it. They're just not using it. I just use my calendar and I mean really use it like I've got everything color coded. I have an executive assistant that helps me a ton, and I know a lot of times when I say that I was on a call yesterday and this guy I was on a call with was like, I need one of those, but I'd have to pay for it. And I'm like, right? Yep, I pay for her. That's right. I have a goal of giving women fulfilling jobs and paying them adequate salaries. So it turns out I do have to pay for, um, but so I have the help of an executive assistant, but I literally block out time on my calendar for everything. Like when it's time to drive my child to school or pick him up. And by the way, I, your husband, can balance that with you or your partner. And so I don't do both. I love my kid, but I don't think that loving him less, um, I don't think driving him not to school or picking him up doesn't mean I love him less. So we share responsibilities that I've got all of that on the calendar. I've got church on the calendar, I've got all of our activities, and I live by it. And so when my calendar goes off, I switch gears, which means if you're putting things on your calendar that are a strain on your brain or aren't in a flow, you're going to be able to tell because you're really going to struggle or you're going to have resistance to that activity that you've got on your calendar. So learning how to like, be in your body, which I've learned through tapping and yoga and a number of different things, but learning how to be in my body and realize like, oh, I'm procrastinating on this. That's not like me. So what is causing that? And what can I change in the flow of my day to make this work better. Because it seems like when I do a podcast recording with somebody and then I have to go process payroll, my brain has a hard time. So I'm going to be in a creative state once we get off of this podcast. So I'm going to go do some research, building out packages and putting language to things. So making sure that I'm like learning how my brain functions and then fashioning my calendar around that. Anybody can go use their calendar, but if you're just like sticking things in blocks on your calendar, but you're not thinking about the way you personally excel, then the calendar doesn't matter at all. I love that that is so, so true. Because once you do something and you get in that specific mindset, it's very hard to shift. I love the power of color on calendars too, right? If you're able to say, you know, mom is one color, work is one color, and then you. It's so impactful. So thank you for sharing that. Even though it might be basic, it is super, super helpful. A topic that I am excited to learn from you about, and I know others will as well, is the the concept of courage versus confidence. Can you explain each and what they look like and why it matters? Yeah, this is one that I can preach about all day long. And people use those words interchangeably, you know, like use your courage, use your confidence. But they're actually very different words. Confidence is more elusive. Like we have to build that. Courage is something we use immediately. So let's say that I let's say this was my first podcast episode and I needed to show up in a strong way, a strong presence to represent myself well. Well, if I'd never done it before, then I would be using my courage to show up because I haven't put in the reps. I don't have this experience. I don't know how it's going to be or how it's going to feel. So I just show up courageously and that's just like something inside of us that we have access to. It doesn't mean it's comfortable. It's very uncomfortable when we have to use our courage, but it's because we're kind of charting new territory. Confidence is something that comes up because we've built the muscle, so we use the courage first. Confidence comes when we've put in the reps, when we have built the muscle, when we have proven to ourselves that we can do hard things, when we have studied something extensively, when we've put in the 10,000 hours, you know, like the more and more we do things, the more confident we grow in them. So courage can get us to confidence, but they're not interchangeable. So cool. When can you think of a time recently or not, when you felt one show up more than the other? Yeah. Um, gosh, I can think of a lot of different times because I see this in people's life all of the time. You can when someone's dysregulated, you can identify that likely they don't have confidence in this area. And we see a lot of emotional dysregulation in today's age. You know, um, it's always been there, but I feel like it's exacerbated now. So for me personally when I. I remember we were on spring break, um, a few years back. I'm going to ask if I can contract with them and start my own business. I was like, up and I was pacing on the beach and I felt completely off my rocker, you know, like my brain couldn't really form a whole thought. And I was just like, can I do this? Do I even know what I'm talking about? Is anyone going to want to do this with me? Is this sustainable? Am I going to eat my words? You know, like, am I going to regret this later? Why am I not grateful for what I already have? Why do I need to do something else? You know, I just I couldn't. And I just had to use my courage to say, like, I'm going to give it a shot. The worst case scenario like this is not a prison sentence. I can go back. Like, will people have something to say about that? Maybe I'm in a public seat so people have opinions on what I'm doing. I put a lot out there, but how long is that going to last before a new flavor comes in? Like, it's going to go by pretty quick because the only person who thinks about me all the time is me. So I just need to, like, move forward. So I just had to use my courage in that situation. Now, after two years, like yesterday, I was having a vendor call. And this vendor wants to partner with me. And he was giving me the general spiel about like, you send me business, I send you business, blah, blah, blah. And he said, what? Um, you know what? Like, sets you apart. And I said, well, we've been on the phone for about seven minutes, so I'm pretty sure that you've picked up what my personality is. And it's not a fit for every client. So you're going to know when someone wants to work with me and they're going to know to I have 100% close rate. If I vet people appropriately and get on the phone. There's no one, in my opinion, that knows business as well as I do. If they like the way that I move through life and not everyone does, so I try to make sure that I vet things appropriately. So by the time they come to me, it's just a yes and thank you and let's do this. But that's because I'm extremely confident in what I bring to the marketplace. And that's because I've read and I've done a million conferences and I've spent 20 years, you know, like, because the confidence is there, because I've done it. I really like that difference. And those examples. Giving yourself permission to be confident in that is hard for some. It really is. It's like, oh, I it's okay for me to believe in myself. And I don't know, uh, growing up, similarly to you, it's not that our parents didn't tell us. It's that that humble and that humility mindset bled over to be quiet or be quieter, or what that might look like is different for everyone. But what would you say to women who think that they need to have more confidence, or even a dynamic of more courage before they do something, whether that's work or at home that are big decisions? Yeah. When I sat down with a branding firm when I first launched my business, they they asked me a ton of probably 200 questions about my business and how we show up in the marketplace and what my goals are and how I got here and why I started the firm. And, you know, my target client. All of this stuff, we go through a couple of hours and they said, okay, we're going to take your data and then we'll get back together and we'll talk to you about your branding. We'll pitch a deck to you. We'll go through all this stuff. And one of the things we're going to go through is your brand tension point. And they explained that a brand tension point is essentially two things that seem conflicting, but are the best descriptors of your brand and how you show up. And so I was like, okay, that's interesting. I've never heard that before. So the next meeting, they call me in this this firm is in Columbia. So I drive in, I'm meeting with them and they get to they're going through my colors and the fonts and the logo and I'm like, yeah, girls. Like, yeah, this is another woman owned business. And I'm like, you guys nailed it. Wow. And they said, and your brand tension point is humble efficiency. And I was like, immediately my face got hot and my neck got hot, and my eyes welled up with tears and I said, I'm coming across humble to you. And they were like 100%. And I said, I have been for years of my life. I rub people the wrong way because they think I'm arrogant or I'm overly confident. And they were like, no, you're like from a you're really clear, like you're from a small town, you're a farm girl, but you've like, got this education and you've put the work in and you're willing to like, grit it out and get your hands dirty. So like, yeah, it's you're humble, but you're also efficient. Like, you're going to do what it takes. You're not going to waste time. You're going to tell the truth. You're going to jump in with the final 10% of your feedback without, you know, like wasting everybody's time, energy. And I was like, well, yes, yes, That is who I am 100%. But like the fact that you see me that way is one of the most humbling things I've ever experienced. And so getting outside of like my childhood, to your point, or maybe people who have been naysayers or people who don't align with me, you know, like there's there's plenty, right? When you show up bold in this world, people are going to be rubbed the wrong way. That's just you're either magnetic, drawing people in or repelling people. You're doing one or the other almost all the time. The true intentions that you have, the fact that someone would have not thought you were humble is honestly surprising. If you were watching our video, my jaw dropped because humility is something that you exude. You can tell in the way in which you like. You said you're a Christian woman. I knew that before you even hopped on this call. Right? Your business name is reflective of that, and it is so neat to get to see the person behind it with that. How can I serve you mindset? And That's not easy, so kudos to you. Seriously, that is so cool, Gary. Ah well, we have so many more things to talk about. Thank you. We could talk about daily habits and grounding. What keeps you grounded? Where would you like to share? What's on your heart? And normally I am, like, super proud of me right now because normally I don't give the quote control. But you have such a way of pulling out what people need to hear. So what? Like what do you feel as if is on your heart to share that you want women to know? You know, one of the things that, um, that I've been processing through recently that I think women don't talk about enough, especially if you're a professional woman or a business owner, is neurodivergence. And while I think that's really popular mainstream, you know, like, yes, it's on TikTok, it's on your Insta reels, like it's probably in your algorithm. You know what I mean? I personally had not met a woman that I respected and looked up to and knew they were a success. That was neurodivergent. And, um, it's something that I haven't talked about openly, uh, very often, but it's something that weighs really heavy on my heart and not in a melancholy way. Just like this is important. This is an important part of my story. And so I am on the spectrum. And, um, most generally, people do not view me as someone who would be on the spectrum. And so because of that, it's the same reason why it's isolating when someone says, oh, you're an introvert. Like, I never would have guessed that. And immediately I feel this like misunderstood, I feel unknown, I feel isolated. And whether you're on the spectrum or neurodivergent or not, I think there's a lot of places where we feel misunderstood as professional women or mothers who are seeking something in their life. And, um, we question each other, we question ourselves. And so I think it's just really important that we allow ourselves to truly show up and own that, because part of our story is what a large part of what inspires others and gives others the space and the path to grow and move and try new things that they maybe wouldn't have tried before. And so that is just something that I'm very passionate about, is my brain works in a different way than a lot of people. And um, being autistic kind of sets me in a different path. And I for me, I feel like it's been a superpower because I have hyper focus and I might not recognize the emotions on some things. So I'm able to be like, um, I don't know why you just said that, but I don't care. You know, like I'm just going to move forward from was that shade like, I don't know I don't know what that was, you know? So I've got some ability to stay focused on business and it's really made, um, it's made me successful 80% of the time, but 20% of the time it's been very isolating. And it's also been a place where, because I mask successfully, then I feel like people don't really know me. And do they really like the real me? So regardless if you're a successful person or you view yourself as a successful person or not, everyone is navigating that. The feeling unknown, feeling like, do I fit in here and just know? Like if my story inspires you at all, I feel the same way. I have the same struggles, I push through them and I've persevered and I've grown that grit muscle. But I think we all feel that way, and a lot of times, successful individuals don't take time to pause and say, like, actually, like there are things in my life that are very hard that I have to navigate and we all have it. And so it's best just to show up as your true self and be happy with yourself. That's that's what sleep at night looks like. Carrie. Thank you for sharing. Like to be vulnerable in a space that allows you to show up as your authentic self. I'm very proud of you. And it's it's humbling for me to now be like, okay, in those moments where all of us feel the exact same way that you just described, what do you do? Because it's very easy for so many of us, we could easily numb out, right? You could go scroll, you could be avoidant, you could do all of these things. But to your point of growing that grit muscle, what are you doing in those moments where things doubt, talk of others creep in? I mean, I've got some tools that I've learned over the years. Um, EFT has been a big one. So emotional, um, where we're tapping. Right. Um, that one's been a really big one with me. I've paid a coach to help me along that journey, but I learned something a few years ago that it just about made my brain melt out of my ears. So when we come against when we come against something hard, our natural inclination is to say, that's hard. So I must be going in the wrong direction. Like, I'm coming up against a block, so I probably need to back up because I'm forcing something or, you know, like, maybe this isn't for me. Depending on the type of person you are, you might say the universe doesn't have that for me, or God doesn't want that for me. You know, whatever that looks like. And that is one way to look at things. It is for sure like, okay, this is hard. Maybe I should reconsider. There's nothing wrong with the pause, but I would just offer another perspective. And that is that those things exist everywhere. And if we never step through those things, like if we hit the obstacle and then we don't push through, like what is on the other side, how could you possibly know unless you walk through it? And so I, I started my podcast over a year ago and I named it Don't Waste the Chaos. And the reason why I named it that was because years ago, I was sitting in a boardroom and the leaders of the table were all males. And then we had a consultant in the room who was a female, and we were we were shaking the snow globe in this organization. We were making people uncomfortable. We were changing our processes. We were implementing technology. And the general demographic of the workplace was resisting the change. They were stuck in their ways in a lot of reasons, and I understood why, but we just weren't going to stay there. And so we were at this like critical mass where my decisions, the decisions of the partner team and then the decisions I was implementing as CEO were taking people off and they were making people disgruntled. And, you know, there was whispers of, I'll quit, you know, that all of that was going on. And I said, well, here's what we could do. We could put on the brakes and go back to the way we were doing things. And this is not an idle threat. I'm just saying, like, I would not be the right fit here because you all brought me here to bring change. So no harm, no foul, you'll pay me a severance, and I'm going to go find another place to shake it up at, because that's how I am. Or we can push through this and see where we can go as an agency. What's the worst case scenario in six months from now? We're like, what the heck was that? Why did we do that? We need to change. But if we don't go ahead and push through, we're not going to know what we're capable of. And like spoiler alert that was 18 months into my tenure. Six years later, we sold a majority share of the business. There was a payout, but on top of that, we gained access to a ton of dry powder to scale. We bought other agencies, you know, we got involved in acquisitions. It was so cool to see where the business went and our reporting was better because we changed, you know, like a lot of things happened. But like, I was not the world's favorite person at the time. And it sucked and it didn't feel good. And the partners, they didn't feel good and like around the table, it just didn't feel good. And I said, what I'd like to say right now, you guys, is like, don't waste the chaos. This is a chaotic moment and it's really hard. But so we could either like, make it easier, but it's still not going to be easy because now they saw where we're trying to go. And then, you know, like we've already kind of done things. So we either like don't waste this time and we push the people out who aren't aligned, let them self opt out and we move forward or we don't. And so when I was like, oh, I want to start a podcast, I'm like, I know what I'm going to call it. Because business and life and motherhood and being a wife, all of it is chaotic. It's hard, like life is hard. There are so many hard things, like nothing was promised for us for this to be easy. So if we just stop every single time something gets hard, we're not going to get there. I don't even know where there is for everybody, but I know for me I have like unlocked levels of my life that I'm like, wow. Now here we are. And this isn't even it. I know it because I'm, you know, I'm only in my mid 40s, but like, look at this. So I just like when you reach an obstacle or a barrier and you're hurt and or you've implemented boundaries with your family and now you're the problem or, you know, like, whatever it is, I would say, like, remember why you did it and keep sitting in it or keep pushing through it or whatever your needed action is, and you will be so shocked on what the other side is, and you will grow on confidence because you did a hard thing. There is no better way to wrap up a conversation than how you just did. Carrie, I have the desire to now totally go check out your podcast. Don't waste the chaos, of course, on your favorite ways to listen. And there's more ways to connect with you and work with you. Carrie. Share how people can do so. Yeah. So I'm pretty active on Instagram. And, um, my handle on Instagram is Carrie M Roberts. And, um, I'm really active on LinkedIn as well. And so same deal. I'm Carrie M Roberts on there. And then of course, my business, my consulting firm is Salt and Light Advisors. The podcast is Don't Waste the Chaos. And then my book that's coming out, it'll be on presale hopefully in the next couple of weeks. And that is called the Easy Button. And it's the first of a three part, I want to call it a trilogy, but it's not a trilogy. Okay. It's just a three part series about air. Um, but it builds, each book builds on itself, and so that's going to be available for pre-sale soon. We also have those links in the show notes so that you can go directly to connect with Carrie Roberts, listen to the Don't Waste the Chaos and buy the book. How cool is this? To be able to say, I heard Carrie talk about this book, and now I'm going to read it because you can have practical tips to be able to implement tomorrow. And that's the really neat thing about even talking with you here, Kerry, is that we've been able to say, you know, that's hard, and I'm going to power through and work through it, or I'm going to find my spark. And really, that definition and the differences between courage and confidence. What a fabulous person you are, Kerry. Thank you for your time today, and we can't wait to learn more about you as we go beyond the Working Moms Redefined podcast. Thank you for listening to the Working Moms Redefined podcast. It is not lost on me that you chose to spend time together. Thank you. Let's connect outside of this space on socials. We'd love for you to follow us on Instagram, Facebook LinkedIn, Pinterest. We've got it all to connect with you. If you feel as if someone in your life could be impacted by this message, feel free to share it. That is the biggest compliment as we part ways together. Remember, you can do hard things.
