Untitled - April 24, 2025
00:00:00 Unknown: Hi, I'm Denise, host of the Working Moms Redefined podcast. Let's join together as we lessen the hold of mom guilt in our lives, thrive in our careers, and raise great kids. You are doing enough. Let us boost your confidence today on this episode of the Working Moms Redefined Podcast. Working Moms Redefined Podcast is back at it today and listeners, it is a absolute pleasure and honor to get to introduce to you today's guest. Remember, we are making sure that you as working moms realize your impact. You give that mom guilt feeling so many of us experience less power that allows us to thrive in our careers while realizing that we We truly want to show up best for our kids. Best is defined so very differently. And sometimes we hold ourselves to a very high expectation of what is good or what is best. And with that thought in mind, I knew I needed and wanted to have exposure to other sorts of thought processes and thinkings, which is why I joined a mastermind this past year with Natalie Ellis. She has Boss Babe and CEO Mama, and within one of those master classes, I got to experience the teachings from this beautiful woman, if you're on our YouTube channel, Kate Kripke and Kate is a maternal mental health and parenting coach and specialist. And she sees you. Wait, she sees us. She sees those of us who are high achieving women and And really identifies the complexities of motherhood. I know that you are going to truly feel the talent that she has to be able to empower women with a deep knowledge and And experience because Kate has two daughters of her own. Her, her husband and these two beautiful daughters live in Colorado and I think she's going to be able to personally walk us through. What it looks like to live in a life of uncertainty and worry from time to time and also in wonderment and the joy of what motherhood is. Is, should be, and can be. So with that, please help me in welcoming Kate Kripke to the Working Moms Redefined podcast. Kate, thank you for being here. Oh, my gosh, what an intro. Thank you for inviting me. You have a perspective that not... Everyone has and I know the feelings and the pressures that I put on myself and I don't love it and so that's why I was reaching out for help and I do believe that it was a God thing that you. Showed up to teach so many of us about the pressures and that the dynamic of how many of us feel like we have to perform and show up a hundred percent in all of the roles that we hold. And I, no, it's not possible. And yet I still try to do it because that's the expectation that I put on myself. Which then produces mom guilt. I love this from you. Can you, Kate, from all of your years of experience and your knowledge, tell us what mom guilt really is. Yeah. I mean, there's so many things I've already heard you say that I'm like jotting down in my notebooks. I'm like, I want to come back to that. But let me start with this. Guilt by definition is Is the assumption of wrongdoing. Right? We feel guilty when we believe that we have done something wrong. We've broken some kind of a rule. Guilt, by the way, like any emotion, I mean, anyone who ever has worked and will continue to work with me will hear me say over and over and over, the emotion is never the problem. The emotions are wise, including guilt. So there's this whole sort of kind of slant out there about, you know, fuck, mom guilt is, you know, We see it, we hear it all. Mom guilt is just part of motherhood, nothing we can do about it. Mom guilt is something we should never feel. We have to feel a way to not feel it. I disagree with that, right? It's like any other emotion and it's here to teach us something. But guilt in of itself suggests that we've broken a rule. The question becomes whose rule are we breaking? Is this a rule, a should, a quote unquote belief about what motherhood is supposed to be and look like, who we're supposed to be based on all of our upbringing and our hard wiring about our sense of self. Is it a rule that someone else has had for us that it's time to change or a way of being in the world that is true and in line with our values? And if it's someone else's rule and we're feeling guilty and it doesn't align, let's change that rule. Let's change that belief. Let's get in there and poke holes in that. If it's ours and we are feeling guilty because we're off alignment with ourselves, then great, let's feel that guilt because it's there to remind us, ah, we are thinking or acting in a way that's out of our own integrity. What can we do to get back in alignment? Either you're telling me that I can change a rule. What? I know. What? Right? As rule followers. As good girls. Well, that's the other thing. I mean, you know, all of my clients are high-performing, High achieving success driven women. And that doesn't mean they're all out there with these giant careers where they're making giant impacts in the world, but we can, we can bring this mentality into the tiny things that we're doing in our lives. But those of us who fall into this category, we are wired for performance. We're not wired for presence. We're not wired for being steady in the moment. We're wired for getting to the next moment, for fixing the problem, for thinking ahead and planning ahead, for striving for the next big goal and next big achievement. Again, it's not that that's bad. I mean, by all means, let's get more women out there doing amazing things in the world. But many of us define our sense of self as On those achievements and goals and when we're not having the experience of meeting a goal the way we think we should meet it or reaching this expectation or achieving this thing when we're not doing that if we're defining ourselves by those things. We're gonna feel very lost very quickly out of our grounding and of course motherhood All those strategies that we've used in our life to be successful and other things, they do not work here. So most of us are just left with feelings of deep angst and anxiety and yes, guilt. Guilt is a big one in there. Like you said, emotions are really the why. And although you said we are not wired for the current moment or being necessarily where our feet are, Because we think we need to go, go, go inside of me. I'm instantly thinking, how can I get there? How can I get to that point? And you come with great ideas. Thought process as, as to what can we do about it? What can we do with it? Well, let's back up for a moment before we go into the, what do we do? Because first of all, isn't that the question us, us high achievers? I ask all the time, what do I need to do? And I'm there right there with you. And it's not that the doing is bad or wrong. Of course, we have to take action to make changes. But if we go too quickly into the doing without understanding what's really happening and sort of the, let's call it science behind it. We're actually gonna miss where the places where the traction actually takes hold. Okay, because We can do all these things, but if we're skipping to the doing too fast, that's not going to be sustainable. We're going to like do something different for a month and then I know we're going to be right back where we were in the first place. So. Let's just back up for just a moment. And I want to share a couple of concepts that I really base my own work, my own life and my own work. And we were talking about this before we started recording Denise, but I have two teenage daughters and I will tell you. As someone who is a historically perfectionist, high achiever, tons of anxiety in my life, panic attacks as a child. I would neither still be married, I've now been married for twenty years, nor would I have the relationship with my children and feel the way I feel at age fifty-two if I hadn't done this work. So I can't stress enough that like anything we talk about in this podcast today and anything I talk with my clients about, I am doing on a moment to moment daily basis in my own life because it works. Does that make sense? As we talk about this, some of these concepts may seem very foreign and hard to access. And I just want to start by saying, yeah, of course, I get it because they are foreign and they can feel hard to access. Doesn't mean they are hard to access, but they can feel that way. But the basis that I do all of my work on is that the results of our life, what our life looks like and feels like. Are a direct reflection of the deeper, more hidden, buried, limiting, fear-based beliefs we have about ourselves. So what do I mean by that? What were we taught to be true about ourselves when we were young? By the way, I had two very loving parents. My parents loved me. I grew up with a ton of privilege. I was really like lucky to be raised in the community that I was raised in with highly educated parents with lots of financial resources. I don't have any big T trauma in my life. But I will tell you, I learned very quickly at a very young age that I needed to feel a certain way, behave in a certain way, and do certain things to receive the kind of love and attention that I needed as a child. And none of that was because my parents didn't love me or because they were somehow being malicious people. It was because They had those beliefs about themselves, that I was raised by these two perfectionists who were, you know, my mom died. Side note, Denise, my mom died about eight years ago. Stress-related illness, by the way, suddenly. Yeah. And she said to me the last time I saw her, she was driving me to the airport. She came out to visit in Colorado. She was driving her back to the airport. She lived in New York City. And she said, Kate, I have been running for class president every day of my entire life. And she was seventy-one years old. That's why I was raised by. So when I'm raised by that mother who's modeling something, there's no way I'm not gonna unintentionally on her part develop the same sense of self. In order for me to, to feel good enough, in order for me to be okay, I have to be, uh, extraordinary, uh, I have to be achieving amazing things I have to be making the people around me happy I need to be solving mine and everybody's problems all the time I need to be monitoring for chaos and micromanaging anyway So, what do I mean by deep limiting beliefs that many of us may not realize we have? I am talking about the beliefs that sound like I am not enough, I am not okay, I am not worthy, unless... Those deep limiting beliefs that we make most of us are somewhat unconscious of until we start asking the right questions, they lead to the kind of thoughts we have on a daily basis. I look at my to-do list. I have twenty things to do. I had my whole afternoon planned. My kid got sick. The thought is disaster is going to strike because I can't get everything done on my to-do list. That comes from that belief of not enoughness, right? That thought leads to an emotion, anxiety, agitation, anger, maybe even resentment because my freaking husband doesn't have to do any of this. So why is it on me? Right. That emotion of anxiety and frustrated frustration motivates behavior. So I both take care of my child while I also am preoccupied by all the things on my to-do list and I'm You know, trying to do two things at once and I'm neither place and I'm exhausted by the end of the day. By the way, then I get to bed and I lie down and go to sleep and my head is spinning over all of the mistakes I made and all the stuff I didn't get done. The results of my life, I'm exhausted, burnt out, disconnected from my children. So we need to pull back and really begin to ask ourselves as high-performing, high-achieving, success-driven women, Not that it's not okay to succeed and want to achieve great things, but in what way is the, is the, are my habits and my thought processes that have actually maybe led to great things in my life, how are they actually Both connected to some deep-rooted limiting beliefs and also getting in my way of what I might want most in my life, which is going to have to do with feeling, not doing. How do I want to feel? I want to feel grounded. I want to feel peaceful. I want to feel connected. I want to feel grateful. I want to feel inspired. I want to feel motivated. I want to feel all those things that we want to feel. We have to tie those results together Back to a belief about ourselves that's going to make it possible for us to create a life that looks like that. That was a lot of language. I just talked for like five minutes straight. This is exactly what we needed and want to hear. That's why people are showing up is because they want this type of information. The feeling versus doing concept, man, especially as an Enneagram three concept, Human design projector achiever. Like, I know all of what you are saying. I know it. And yet I choose to take the easier route because it's, it's familiar. I know that if I continue to do, do, do, I know what that feeling is like. I might want something different. And so. When we focus more so on the feeling versus the doing, the action, we ultimately create a life that we want to continue showing up for until we get to a point where we're like, you know what, I'm just going to be done. To a point of, I love the concept of coming up with a word of the year. How do we want to focus on the entire year and show up And honestly, how I get there is how do I want to help and make people feel once they leave me? With the statement being true of also, I feel this way. And instantly this year when I worked through this activity, peace came to mind. I want to feel peace. Do you think I picked that as my word of the year that I wear every day? No. Because there is less action around the word peace from my perspective as of yesterday. If I think about it truly, right, there's a lot of time and effort and action that can go into finding peace, but I wasn't looking at it at that point in time. In my life, I rather wanted to be able to choose the word dynamic so that I could see all of the dynamics in my life and be like, yeah, that's okay. Keep doing it all. Yet Do we want to create and continue that cycle that doing it all makes us feel? I would say a lot of us, the answer is no. And you proved that to be true. While I'm thinking to you, educate us so much about asking what it looks like to go into those deep limiting beliefs. Instantly in my mind, then I'm thinking, you're right. Because you learned and changed your ways, your daughters and that relationship changed. My question that popped into my mind is, the kids are young. Is it ever too late to change ourselves that will then impact them differently, Kate? Never too late. Never too late. It is easier to do this when our children are young because I do a lot of the work I do. Moms are my clients. I work with the women who come to work with me because they want to feel different in their life than they feel. Maternal and child mental health are intimately interconnected. So when a mom comes to work with me, she's not my only client, right? Her children don't. Are my clients because as we help her feel more grounded, uh, confident, I want to come back to that word in a moment because I have a different definition of that than your listeners may have. So remind me if I forget. But she wants to feel calmer. She wants to feel confident. She wants to feel connected. All of that stuff is going to come from the inside, not the outside. My client are used to saying, okay, well, if I just controlled my life outside of me, if I get my life outside of me to look and feel a certain way, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Back to your question, you know, when we are doing this work to tend to our own nervous systems and our own sense of self and our own, ah, You know, capacity to, to trust that we're okay when our kids are younger. We set the stage for what we call a secure attachment. We set the stage for us to be able to show up in motherhood. The ways that our children need us to for them to develop into Uh, emotionally, psychologically, socially, um, healthy humans, right? So it's never too late and please don't wait. That's sort of what I want to say about that. Does that make sense? Yes. And can you go a little bit more into the neuroscience behind that? Yep, totally. So, um, between about zero, about age zero and three, give or take, right? Every child is different. So let's, I mean, with us, Us high achievers, we tend to think in all or nothing rigid thinking ways, which by the way happens when there's fear. Fear leads to rigid thinking. So many of us who are in sort of this chronic state of stress and we're Inside of there is a little bit of a fear. And again, and what am I connecting to that to? I'm connecting it to the fear-based limiting beliefs we have about ourselves. Of course, I'm gonna feel slightly anxious all the time if I believe I'm not enough or not okay, right? Between about, uh, until about age three, our children share a nervous system with us. They think they are us. They, they don't know that they're not part of us. And around somewhere from eighteen months to three and a half, give or take the child, children begin to learn, their brains develop enough to begin to learn that they are their own little humans. And that's why, that's tellerhood by the way, right? They move from being a part of us to being their own person. And so they pull away and they come back and they pull away and they come back and this can be Physically, like the toddler is toddling away and then they get freaked out by the, you know, cat at the other side of the room or dog and they come running back, right? It's the sort of like, I need you, I don't need you, I love you, I hate you thing that we get in tellerhood. And by the way, again, in teenager land. Right. That is really what, what's causing that is the developed in the brain. The brain is shifting to, to recognize this piece of like, I am my own human with my own wants, my own desires, my own interests, my own thinking. What we wanna do as parents, what our children need most from us, More than five books at night. More than the right clothing. More than the right school or Even more than the right food we're feeding them, right? What they need most from us is a sense of being seen, heard, and understood. They need a sense of acceptance. And a secure parent, and let's just talk about mothers, a secure mother is that mother who is healthy enough inside of herself to be able to stay psychologically and emotionally steady. While all that crap is happening. One of the things that many of us who are high achievers were not taught to do when we were young is to make room for all of our emotions. We were not taught that emotions are okay. Sadness, disappointment, anger, fear. Again, not necessarily because we had a parent saying, I'll give you something to cry about. Some of us may have had that parent, but we may have had a parent who was Not able in his or her take our own mothers for a moment her own capacity to tolerate her own emotional discomfort that when we were emotionally uncomfortable she would feel uncomfortable and then the only way to take care of herself was to tell us Tell us as her child to stop crying, to stop being angry. And that might sound like it's not a big deal. Just find new friends or, you know. Just look at the positive or here's a lollipop or, you know, whatever the thing is. We were taught that sitting in and feeling uncomfortable emotion meant that there was something wrong with us, that something bad was happening. To be a securely attached mother, we have to make room for all of our children's feelings. We're going to set boundaries. It doesn't mean that we have to allow our children to scream at the top of their lungs in a restaurant or whatever the thing is. But the emotion behind the behavior is always going to make sense. And if we are not... If we're coming to that from a place of I'm not enough or I'm not okay or I'm not worthy, we're less likely to take care of our brains and our bodies the way we need to to be real resilient, which is getting enough sleep. Eating healthy foods, having strong social relationships outside of motherhood, spending time in nature, moving our body, learning how to breathe, mindfulness practice, play. No one knows how to play. Maybe we'll talk about that in a moment. But if we're not doing those things to tend to ourselves, which by the way, sometimes also involves pursuing a career outside of motherhood because it fills us up and gives us purpose. If we're not doing those things, we're going to come to those moments, those challenging moments with our children when they're feeling a lot of big emotion with so much depletion and so little resilience. That we are going to either get anxious about their feelings and micromanage or helicopter or try to prevent them from feeling any discomfort and pain or we're going to check out. And we're gonna either move away and disappear figuratively, emotionally, or physically. Means that we are providing a safe base for our children to come to both when they're feeling immense joy and And when they're feeling immense pain. Long answer. But does that make sense? Beautiful. There is a moment that stands out in my mind of how I acted from a place of anxiety which ultimately was deep rooted in the I'm not a good enough mom thought process. Yeah. I, my mom always picked out my outfits for school. Does that mean that I do that for my child? Absolutely not. I honestly, I do the exact opposite. And there is a struggle there sometimes when I see the outfit and I'm like, in my mind, first thought. Oh man, my mom would have never let me leave the house like that. Second, look at her. Well done. This is great. What a great way to express your creativity. And I don't correct her in saying like, you can't wear that, go change. Is that hard for me? Absolutely. How did I get to the point to not let her? I messed up. And there was a time where I said, oh, Sydney, you can't wear that. And All hell broke loose, right? Every, she cried, she ran, she went to her room, she went to her bed, and I was like, we gotta go! I did not handle it how I would handle it today, and it stands out because I wasn't in a good healthy spot. I wasn't thriving. I wasn't investing into myself. When I think about to my son, the concept that you had shared about, uh, our kids are, they think, and are connected to Science-based from zero to three. They think that we are the same. I struggled really hard with my son from zero to three months. He was... I mean, he cried all the time, angry, all of those things. When you said that comment, I instantly looked back and thought, Well, of course he was because I was angry and I was upset and I was experienced. So, so how could he not feel what I was feeling? Exactly right. Not that it's. No, it doesn't deflate the experience at all, but man, it almost makes it better for me to look back and say and give him grace and not look at him and be mad for you stole the maternity leave that I expected to have away from me. And Sid look at, oh, well, you were just acting how I wished I would have been able to. Oh, my gosh. There's so much here. And I'm so grateful you're bringing this up. I mean, my turning moment. My big mistake that scared the crap out of me was when my now eighteen year old was twenty Two and a half. I had a newborn. I think she was probably four or five months at this point. Uh, I had very severe postpartum anxiety after my first baby was born. Not after my second. Interestingly, but it, it showed up differently. Like, right, that sort of ragey thing a lot of us can feel. Like, I wouldn't have described it as anxiety. I would have described it as just anxiety. Internal rage, anger. And I remember a time I was putting my second daughter to bed to sleep. Nap time. And my first daughter, Kinley, who is literally, they're two very different children and Kinley has been even Steve in her whole life. She, she does not have much range of emotion. My second daughter. Really likes to feel her emotions. And when she feels it, she feels that big. And so getting her to sleep, having her sleep was like a godsend because it would be quiet. In the house. And in comes Kinley with like a drawing she had made. And she busts open the door. Mommy, mommy, look what I drew. And I remember Screaming so loud that my throat hurt. And looking at her eyes, I mean, I scared her. And I was like, what am I working for here? The perfect household where your child naps between one and three p.m. every day because that's when they're supposed to nap, quote unquote. The perfectly well-behaved child who never disturbs me when I'm putting the, I just realized in that moment, like, wow, I am so far off course here. From how I want to feel in motherhood because I was following these rigid rules and what my children, how my children needed to be behaving in order for me to feel like a good mom. I think we all get caught in this, but it reminds me a little bit of a Something I use in my work a lot and with myself is this, this statement, which by the way, requires self-compassion. It requires vulnerability. It requires a willing to feel a lot of emotional discomfort to acknowledge this, but you know this as much as I do, Denise, we can't change anything we can't see. So what we're not aware of will control us. What we become aware of, we can quote unquote control or do something about. But the question is, the statement is, I say I want X, but I'm unconsciously committed to Y. I say I want beautiful, strong, healthy relationships with my children, but I'm unconsciously committed to prioritizing getting everything right and To feeling the way I want to feel. I say, and we can do this in other ways. I say I want to feel better in my body. I say I want to be exercising more. I'm unconsciously committed to feeling like crap. And again, it's the same idea. It's like the results of our life. They're going to show us what we're committed to. They're not going to show us what we want. They're going to show us what we're committed to. And confirmation bias will do this. So if I am committed to this belief that I'm not enough. If I'm committed to this belief that I am not okay and I am not enough and I am not okay can look like I'm not a good enough mom, I'm not doing enough at work. I, my children aren't well enough behaved. I'm not like all of those things. There's something wrong with my child. There's something wrong with me. If I am so committed to those beliefs that I think that they're fact, I am going to think, feel, and act in that pipeline we talked about a few minutes ago in a way that's going to make the results of my life a direct mirror of that. And this is like an interesting concept because you said when you were starting, when you did the intro, what did you say? You said we expect ourselves to perform at 100%. I actually want me and you and all of our listeners to To take 100% responsibility for our part in our lives. But not 101%. Not 99%, not 101%. Many of us who say I have to show up as 100% at work or at home, we're actually... Expecting us to show up as 100% plus some of the other people's 100%, right? Not just owning our part, but taking responsibility for everybody else's stuff. That is not possible. So all of this is so fascinating because we may be moving through our lives not really paying attention to all of these things that are under the surface. And when I use the word unconscious, really what I'm talking about is our hard wiring. What are we doing? How are we thinking? That's so habitual. It's so hardwired. It's so familiar to us that we are not even aware that we're doing it. I know I'm not the only one that has teared up listening to you in the time that we've already spent. So if that is you, listener, you're not alone. Community happens when we have these conversations together. And like you said, emotions have more to the story. It's like, for me, I feel seen. I feel as if there is hope. I feel as if it's okay to not continue at the level in which I think I need to. I want to go back to your definition of confidence. What is that? Thank you for reminding me. Confidence is The opposite of fear is not safety. It's confidence. Confidence as defined as I am okay. And I want to break this down to the literally the baseline of what we're talking about. I am breathing. I am breathing. I am here. I am alive. I am moving forward. I am okay. Confidence means I can feel hard things and still be okay. I can feel angry, disappointed, sad, angry, frustrated. I can make mistakes. I can do things that I regret later. I can... Feel totally incompetent. I can feel totally lost and uncertain and not know the answer and still be okay. That's confidence. And when we learn to trust that about ourselves, these other things in motherhood as working moms Are not so painful. They're not so hard because it doesn't require doing something extraordinary to get through it. It just means steadiness. So one of the things I want to leave your listeners with Denise. Especially those who are working and have full or part-time jobs that either they find purpose from and don't want to stop or maybe have to work. To understand that this idea of secure attachment, this idea of showing up for our children the way our children need to, they don't take doing. It's all about being in those moments with them, even when the moments are really freaking unpleasant because our child is resisting sleep or we come home from work at the end of the day and we're exhausted. Or we're trying to make dinner and we've got all these other things to do. Or, right, you know, or our child is really, really disappointed because we didn't show up to that school event or soccer game or school pickup that we said we would. That the moments of attachment happen in the moments. And when we're so preoccupied by doing more to be a good mom. We miss the whole point of where the solid foundation in our relationships with our children where they build trust in us, where they build a sense of safety with us because they believe that we are truly seeing them, hearing them, and understanding them Even in their dysregulation, that is secure attachment. So my definition of confidence is, oh, I can stay in this moment and not think about what I need to do to perform like a good mom. What do I need to do to be a good mom? I can stay present in this moment and still be okay even when it's so dang unpredictable and uncertain and chaotic. That is what our children need. And when we can learn how to do that, Denise, we can be it all. We can't do it all. Who in the frick can do it all? But we can be. Successful in our careers and successful in motherhood. We can be deeply committed and embracing and empowered at work and present and confident and connected with our children. I would assume that if you, listener, choose to go and learn more about Kate and see her options to work with her, she'll be able to help you answer the question, how? So much more and deserving of both your time and theirs. Kate, as you think about the biggest answer to go back to the very beginning of You've laid the foundation. You're ready to take the next step to work towards achieving a more centralized nervous system and less Less pressure around showing up like you said at best as how we think we should. What's the next right step that, for instance, I could take? Well, I think the next right step requires uh, honest curiosity. Many of us, on paper, our life looks amazing. It may even be everything we've ever dreamed of. And I think the first step is to take a deep breath and put our hands on our heart and ask ourselves, how am I feeling? Not what am I doing? Not what am I achieving? Not what are my children doing or achieving? But how am I feeling? And we want to look at those feelings. I mean, literally feeling. I don't mean I'm feeling like I'm not doing enough. No, that's a thought. How am I feeling? I'm feeling tense in my shoulders. I'm feeling my belly is turning. I'm feeling short of breath. What emotions are those? I'm feeling anxious and scared. I'm feeling irritated and ragey. I'm feeling so disappointed. I'm feeling really sad. I'm feeling lost. I'm feeling stuck. In order to do anything different, we have to look at the feelings and see the feelings as wise. Not as reflection of therefore I'm broken or therefore I've screwed everything up in my life, but there's something off in my thinking. Or my behavior, my actions, the choices I'm making that are, that I can work with because truly the only two things we can control in our lives as much as we would like to believe this is different. Our own thoughts, our own actions, that is it. But when we learn how to bring our agency there, when we learn how to put our effort and energy there, everything else begins to shift. But it starts with that honest, reflective question. Beautiful. There is so much knowledge that you shared in our forty-five minutes together and I can't wait to go back and re-listen. My page of notes is full and I think. Man, there is, as I try not to achieve and go and do, do, do, there is so much opportunity to see the reason why and then decide how to move forward. While removing those words of I need to do more or I have to do this or whatever that is for that line of thinking, you have given so many of us a gift today. I know, much like myself, I want more. Kate, how can they get more from you whether that's online or one-on-one with you? Thank you for asking. Um, well, a few things. I am going to send you two links for your show notes. Thank you. Okay. One is to a masterclass that I, I created a, um, a framework for this. It's a, Pathway for people. It's called the Calm Connection System. And it really is designed, you know, I've been doing this work for over twenty years. It's designed in brain science, neurodevelopment, attachment, what we know about our kids' brains. It's designed to help women move from emotional overwhelm, guilt, and burnout to calm and confidence. There's that word again in connection and motherhood. There's a master class that will give people an idea of talk more about these ideas we talk about today and give people an idea about what this program looks like and so I am going to Give that to you so people can learn from me. And if you're interested in booking a call to learn more, there is a link in that masterclass where you can do that. I'm also gonna pass on to your, um, community. I created a 21-day, uh, it's like a Calm Mom Reset. It's all based on brain science. And one of the things that gets lost for a lot of us high achievers is this idea of taking care of ourselves. Many of us, you know, it's a little bit like barfy at this point. Put your oxygen mask on first. And everyone's like, yeah, but with what freaking time? Like, I get it. I get it. But I'm not doing it. I want your listeners to understand that the The way to be able to quote unquote, be at all that we've talked about, not do it all, but show up and. Be the version of ourselves we want to be at work and out in the world and also in motherhood. It requires resilience to stress. And if we're not feeding our brain with what our brain needs to be resilient to stress. We will not be able to do that. We will lose our patience. We will, you know, be overly anxious about things. We'll catastrophic thinking. We'll ruminate. We'll criticize ourselves. It won't work. So this is a 21-day process. Kind of guided coach in your pocket type of experience where people are going to build something called their non-pharmaceutical prescription for mental health. And I will send you a link. It's just a free resource and people can jump in on that. That's a beautiful place to start. If people want a little baby step to get going. I can't wait. That is so, so very much appreciated. She's not going to be the one to tell you this, so I want to make sure that I highlight it. Kate also said, You have a book. It's called Reinventing Supermom, Support, Encouragement, and Strategies for New Mothers Who Feel Lost. I will link to Amazon in the show notes if you are at all interested in reading. From Kate directly, as well as her website, Instagram, and LinkedIn as well. But Kate, what a pleasure. Thank you for making time to pour into women with no expectation. You do it because you love women. People and that is seen. Oh, thank you, Denise. I have really loved being here with you today. Thank you. It's a pleasure. That is today's Working Moms Redefined podcast and I don't want to say anything more because you're feeling all of the feelings right now. So with that, I will remind you that you can do hard things.
